[Nalu]

This is going to be long. I kind of have a lot of issues going on. I struggle with severe depression, PTSD, and total lack of motivation... I have no way at all to seek help in any form. I am 17. In my town all psychiartists refuse to work with teenagers, and I am still considered one. I also have no money nor support from parents. They believe i am making it all up and that it will all pass as i grow older.

Now there is the main problem. I am in my senior year, two months away from the exams that should be a deciding factor in my life. I have no college nor path I especially want to follow. Nothing I want to do with my life. My father considers college a waste of time anyway and my mother, despite saying she encourages me in whatever I choose, offers no help at all. I am all on my own. It's a decision I need to make, and I am running out of time. Maybe it already ran out.

I honestly see no future for myself. All I know for sure is that one way or another I want out of here. I want out of this town, out of the reach of my controling parents that try to choose what is right and what isnt but refusing to offer any real help. I probably sound like a moody teenager... But this is what I feel now... I am in tight spot.

I don't have any special qualities honestly, i am also no good with people and social situations (forgot to mention mild social anxiety). I like music... Had taken violin lessons before. It lasted for 3 years before I completely gave up on it. I draw and write stories. I also have a thing for English (not my mother tongue, learned it all by myself). Yet again, none of these is exactly something i could turn into a job, given the fact that my parents won't provide any financial support if i go to college anyway so I need to find a way to pull through and the fact that most likely even after college, i will find no job or the pay will be way too low to be independent. Thought of a psychology major but again, a psychologist's salary is really low here and as messed up as my brain is now, I stand no chance to help others. It would be unfair to everyone. So I am not cut for it. I am stuck. I am afraid since I see no future for myself. Social anxiety is something that makes even a normal job difficult to manage.

Surprisingly my marks are ok to good. Last semester i pulled off a 9.66 out of 10 as the average. My relationship with classmates is bad, being looked at like I would be some sort of weird creture (lots of rumors about me and talking behind my back since i am "weird and with mental problems" and because I refuse to skip classes, knowing that if my parents found out i would be punished and treated like i a shame for the family and ruined their entire lives). I nearly never study yet by a miracle my grades are over 9 in each subject. I am student of a maths & IT high school, considered "difficult". I like maths and IT, but not exactly a passion. Also I am not brillinat at any of them. That is all...

I guess I am just extremely confused... And lost. As I see no future for myself I have no motivation to study. I have no idea what to do with myself and hoping thay maybe there is someone that could at least give me a clue. Do you have any advice? Anything would help...

[CANDC]

Hi Nalu. In one way you have already reached out for help by joining Psych Central. (PC) Although PC does not replace a therapist or psychiatrist, many people here at PC feel like people here understand and can accept them the way they are.

It took me 15 years to start to find out what I wanted in life, but I hope it is easier for you. Every job I had taught me a little more. I had to start out with basic skill jobs. I ended up working and saving money and going to school days while I worked evenings. If you want a book that might give you some ideas, there is WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE that is a work book to write things you like and dislike and finding jobs that can use these skills.
Another is CALLINGS by Gregg Levoy that describes people hitting walls in life and finding ways around them.

You probably are brilliant getting good grades and not studying much. Kids in school have a natural antipathy to smart students, but don't let that stop you from being who you are.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Search results for Understanding parental abuse

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Nalu]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Hi Nalu. In one way you have already reached out for help by joining Psych Central. (PC) Although PC does not replace a therapist or psychiatrist, many people here at PC feel like people here understand and can accept them the way they are.

It took me 15 years to start to find out what I wanted in life, but I hope it is easier for you. Every job I had taught me a little more. I had to start out with basic skill jobs. I ended up working and saving money and going to school days while I worked evenings. If you want a book that might give you some ideas, there is WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE that is a work book to write things you like and dislike and finding jobs that can use these skills.
Another is CALLINGS by Gregg Levoy that describes people hitting walls in life and finding ways around them.

You probably are brilliant getting good grades and not studying much. Kids in school have a natural antipathy to smart students, but don't let that stop you from being who you are.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek.

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
Psych Central - Search results for Understanding parental abuse

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

Thank you very much for taking the tims to read all of that. Really. It means so much...

I will check out the books you mentioned... Hopefully I will at least get a hint as to what I could do with myself...

Also thank you for the search. Will give it a read. I guess I kind of really need to start from there if I want to solve anything...