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  #1  
Old Apr 24, 2015, 08:23 AM
detour1 detour1 is offline
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is this okay ?
and we talk everyday

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  #2  
Old Apr 24, 2015, 10:53 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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Are you talking about girl/boy, boy/girl, girl/girl or boy/boy? A 15 year old is still a minor so it may not be a good idea for a 19 year old to necessarily be friends as if something bad happens, the 19 year old may be held legally liable. I'm not talking about just sexually, but "contributing to delinquency of a minor" so if the 15 year old is caught, say, shop lifting and blames it on the 19 year old, etc. and the 19 year old is "there" at the same time, it could be unpleasant. I would look for people older than I was (more experienced) or the same age.
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  #3  
Old Apr 24, 2015, 11:15 AM
detour1 detour1 is offline
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Originally Posted by Perna View Post
Are you talking about girl/boy, boy/girl, girl/girl or boy/boy? A 15 year old is still a minor so it may not be a good idea for a 19 year old to necessarily be friends as if something bad happens, the 19 year old may be held legally liable. I'm not talking about just sexually, but "contributing to delinquency of a minor" so if the 15 year old is caught, say, shop lifting and blames it on the 19 year old, etc. and the 19 year old is "there" at the same time, it could be unpleasant. I would look for people older than I was (more experienced) or the same age.
Hi we are both in highschool and we are just friends nothing more and we are both males
  #4  
Old Apr 24, 2015, 12:22 PM
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bubbles00 bubbles00 is offline
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I think it's perfectly ok. I'm 18 and my friend is 16 and i dont see a problem with it.
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is it okay if I 19 year old is friends with a 15 year old
  #5  
Old Apr 24, 2015, 12:29 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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That could be okay but you will be leaving high school sooner than he? You have to move into a life that he cannot imagine/experience yet and you probably should be working to relate to that rather than to what is enjoyable when you are/were 2-3 years younger. Do you drive a car? He cannot yet. There may be more of a "little brother" sort of thinking on your part or a "big brother" one on his and if he's looking up to you, as he probably is, what you do is affecting his life in ways neither of you may be aware of yet. Pretend you decide you don't care about school and drop out; he could take that attitude later since his older friend did or maybe he has a problem you know the answer to, he might become more dependent on older people instead of starting to learn to wrestle with his own problems. It's a big responsibility for you, being older, and it can be a danger to him, looking up to you instead of to himself and/or those in his permanent life/positions of authority, etc.

It is not built-in harmful but just potentially in very subtle ways. We get in the habit of learning and doing things a certain way as we're teenagers and while the age difference might not make a difference in your 30's or 40's, then you'll be more set in your ways. Now a younger good friend could be limiting for you as you don't "see" anything new, learn and grow, and it could postpone his self-awareness and "stunt" his working on his own growth.

I guess it depends on what you do together. If you both play an instrument in the marching band and want to get together to practice or something, that's one thing. But in any event I would make sure I had other friends/acquaintances and maybe get together with younger friends in a larger group so there are multiple points of views and others who can subtly affect the mix. Start or join a study or other group open to friends in your and other grades. Do things together with your father(s) or as part of a team or something. Play video games together or as a team but not exclusively (don't spend all day Saturday in a basement somewhere playing video games, for example).

But no. There's nothing wrong with being friends with someone younger/older, just think about what you want to be friends "for"? What are you getting from it? If you are escaping "scary" same-age guys who you feel you have nothing in common with, etc. you may want to rethink the "practice" needed to learn to get along with others our "age"/development level. I'm not saying you have to try out for the football team, but perhaps go to football games and talk to other students, etc.?
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  #6  
Old Apr 24, 2015, 01:13 PM
detour1 detour1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna View Post
That could be okay but you will be leaving high school sooner than he? You have to move into a life that he cannot imagine/experience yet and you probably should be working to relate to that rather than to what is enjoyable when you are/were 2-3 years younger. Do you drive a car? He cannot yet. There may be more of a "little brother" sort of thinking on your part or a "big brother" one on his and if he's looking up to you, as he probably is, what you do is affecting his life in ways neither of you may be aware of yet. Pretend you decide you don't care about school and drop out; he could take that attitude later since his older friend did or maybe he has a problem you know the answer to, he might become more dependent on older people instead of starting to learn to wrestle with his own problems. It's a big responsibility for you, being older, and it can be a danger to him, looking up to you instead of to himself and/or those in his permanent life/positions of authority, etc.

It is not built-in harmful but just potentially in very subtle ways. We get in the habit of learning and doing things a certain way as we're teenagers and while the age difference might not make a difference in your 30's or 40's, then you'll be more set in your ways. Now a younger good friend could be limiting for you as you don't "see" anything new, learn and grow, and it could postpone his self-awareness and "stunt" his working on his own growth.

I guess it depends on what you do together. If you both play an instrument in the marching band and want to get together to practice or something, that's one thing. But in any event I would make sure I had other friends/acquaintances and maybe get together with younger friends in a larger group so there are multiple points of views and others who can subtly affect the mix. Start or join a study or other group open to friends in your and other grades. Do things together with your father(s) or as part of a team or something. Play video games together or as a team but not exclusively (don't spend all day Saturday in a basement somewhere playing video games, for example).

But no. There's nothing wrong with being friends with someone younger/older, just think about what you want to be friends "for"? What are you getting from it? If you are escaping "scary" same-age guys who you feel you have nothing in common with, etc. you may want to rethink the "practice" needed to learn to get along with others our "age"/development level. I'm not saying you have to try out for the football team, but perhaps go to football games and talk to other students, etc.?
Hi we just talked and we played cards together one time
  #7  
Old Apr 25, 2015, 01:27 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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Why are you worried/did you ask the question? Who has made you believe it might not be okay?
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  #8  
Old Apr 25, 2015, 05:49 PM
detour1 detour1 is offline
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Originally Posted by Perna View Post
Why are you worried/did you ask the question? Who has made you believe it might not be okay?
Hi not sure why it just happen one day ,I just worry about it ,I feel fear
  #9  
Old Apr 26, 2015, 09:00 AM
ManOfConstantSorrow ManOfConstantSorrow is offline
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If you worry there is likely a reason - can you think about this?

Also at that age I would suggest you are a young adult about to embark on a more independent and therefore scary but exciting adult life, while you friend is a child still at the early stages of learning what adulthood will be like. Could you be seeking comfort in being with someone who is still in the same stage of life as your recent past as a way of not facing the challenges (and rewards) of adulthood?
  #10  
Old Apr 26, 2015, 09:09 AM
detour1 detour1 is offline
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Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow View Post
If you worry there is likely a reason - can you think about this?

Also at that age I would suggest you are a young adult about to embark on a more independent and therefore scary but exciting adult life, while you friend is a child still at the early stages of learning what adulthood will be like. Could you be seeking comfort in being with someone who is still in the same stage of life as your recent past as a way of not facing the challenges (and rewards) of adulthood?
Hi maybe I am special needs and i just really like this person and in a a few months we will be getting adult servies and a in home therapy for are family I see both a mentor and a Counselor
  #11  
Old Apr 26, 2015, 10:30 AM
ManOfConstantSorrow ManOfConstantSorrow is offline
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Originally Posted by detour1 View Post
Hi maybe I am special needs and i just really like this person and in a a few months we will be getting adult servies and a in home therapy for are family I see both a mentor and a Counselor
I don't think you need worry too much. Is it possible to discuss your worries with your mentor and counsellor?

I wonder if you are worried because you are 'special needs' and perhaps it is unclear how your friend feels about this?
  #12  
Old Apr 26, 2015, 12:36 PM
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Hellion Hellion is offline
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I do not see anything wrong with it....as for graduating before him, I don't think that should be a big issue, that kind of thing is fairly common in my circle. Most people I know are anywhere from 15-my age, 25 or older and as far as I can tell there is not that drastic of a difference between what teens and young adults are into. Now I will not talk about the more complicated legality stuff too much, but I have had situations where people my age to teenagers are drinking/smoking....well obviously all the teens aren't going to listen to me of I go around saying 'hey your not old enough' so kind of have to see it as they do what they do....it can be a little of a complicated issue though I suppose.

I guess just be aware of any legal risks that might come with hanging out with younger people....and use your head. For instance sure maybe an under-age person should not be drinking that beer....but better to keep an eye out for them then try to be their mom/dad and tell them what to do from what I observe then they are also more willing to slow down or be distracted from the drinking rather than be rebellious and try to show off that they can get drunk. My views may not be inline with everyone else but its what I've grown up around/experienced.
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  #13  
Old Apr 26, 2015, 04:15 PM
detour1 detour1 is offline
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Originally Posted by Hellion View Post
I do not see anything wrong with it....as for graduating before him, I don't think that should be a big issue, that kind of thing is fairly common in my circle. Most people I know are anywhere from 15-my age, 25 or older and as far as I can tell there is not that drastic of a difference between what teens and young adults are into. Now I will not talk about the more complicated legality stuff too much, but I have had situations where people my age to teenagers are drinking/smoking....well obviously all the teens aren't going to listen to me of I go around saying 'hey your not old enough' so kind of have to see it as they do what they do....it can be a little of a complicated issue though I suppose.

I guess just be aware of any legal risks that might come with hanging out with younger people....and use your head. For instance sure maybe an under-age person should not be drinking that beer....but better to keep an eye out for them then try to be their mom/dad and tell them what to do from what I observe then they are also more willing to slow down or be distracted from the drinking rather than be rebellious and try to show off that they can get drunk. My views may not be inline with everyone else but its what I've grown up around/experienced.
Hi why am I worrying about this. I also been getting guilty feelings for no reason. I am also nervous all of the Time.
  #14  
Old May 14, 2015, 09:55 PM
claritycool claritycool is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by detour1 View Post
is this okay ?
and we talk everyday
Hi, I'm a mom and If you are to ask me, I guess, it all depends of what kind of relationship you do have with the 15 yrs old. I don't think there's something wrong with that as long as you both are doing right. Your behavior will really count.
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