help me.

its abt my life...i mean future...
i was good at studies...since childhood....what i think of my self when i evaluate my self is that...i
m a very good learner...i can pretty much
understand every thing....my life was going
ok...my parents decided to make me an
engineer...i never thought what i wanted to
do...so i thought i should do it...i joined a coatchng class for iit....iit is like harvard of india....i did well
at coaching...faculties belived i will suerly get into
iit...so did i...but there were certain complications
in life...i was under stress...huge and continuos
stress for abt 6 months....i couldnt get in iit...didnt
get a good clg either...i thoughts its ok...i can study hard in this clg and may be doi good
here...i studied the 1st semester and good gpa
too...bt failed in one subject...the subject i knew
most abt....i was informed by my senior year
student that this happens here....the teachers
there were nt gud either...they were terrible....slowly i stopped studyng....i started to
watch movies...non stop...didnt knw what else to
do...i saw like 3000movies in 2 years....i saw 8 tv
shows...played 30 games...in classes i begin to
draw...i also started to write songs...write
stories...singing dancing...and i became pretty good at those....bt apart from those i begain to
think in a very differnt way...the way i never
thought before/..i stared to see what is
haappening around the world....the gud the
evil...the uprising need for money...which made
me think abt psycology...i got intrested in psycology very much....i have plans to get into an
clg of cognetive science but the problm is dnt
study...i draw when i m in clg...i watch movies at
home...i dance for 1 hr...bt i dnt study...and i love
to study bt i just cant do it....i dnt knw why...i
tried to apply little psycology stuff on me and reached a conclusion that i dnt study becoz I m
afraid of failing again like i did before for the iit...i
also want to draw... write music...write
books...write songs...study human brain
cognetivity...sing ...dance...bt i just end up
watchng movies....i dnt knw what do ido...if i stay this way i m afraid i aint goona pass the clg
either.....do any of u have anything to say to
me...helo me....

:Grouphug:

Hi ridicknotme,

Your story sounds very similar to mine. My family also wished for me to do a certain career and so I studied business in college, got my degree, started work 6 months ago. I've been struggling to find motivation to study for my license test (which will qualify me for managerial positions). But all I hear in my head is how much I want to help people, help the world, use my creative side with music, poetry, writing, singing, or do something meaningful for others such as a non-profit charity or possibly even going back to school for a psychology degree so that I can be a counselor/therapist.

Lack of motivation can be really tough. But fear of failure is even harder to overcome. I understand this feeling all too much. Is it possible that you suffer from depression or had an event occur that was a depressive setback? Watching all those movies and tv... it sounds like you're avoiding thinking about or doing something that you really dread. But the reason you don't want to face it is because of some more complex trauma. I'm not a professional doctor or anything, but if you do struggle with depression, it can be a good idea to work on that first before jumping back into studying. Have you considered seeing a counselor or reaching out to a good friend of yours and seeing if they have time to listen or can do anything (even small) to help motivate you?

What you wish to do in life is up to you. I don't see any problem with following what you're passionate about. However, if you don't think those areas will secure you a job or get you through, I'd strongly suggest keeping them as your hobbies on the side. While it's great when your actual career can align with your passions, sometimes it's not always feasible. Your next best bet would be to spend your weekends delving into song-writing or painting just so that you can keep enjoying what you enjoy the most.

Don't give up! I have faith that you can do it. There are lots of different roads/paths people can take in their lives. But all roads lead to Rome.