[Miswimmy1]

I just started college (I'm a freshman). I moved into my dorm room last Saturday, so it's been almost a week that I've been here. And it's been miserable almost every second of it.

Some of you are probably already familiar with my story but I'll give a very brief summary. I was really close to a therapist. I had a bad experience in residential treatment. I had to terminate with that therapist abruptly. Eight months later, we were reunited. I graduated high school and moved to another state. The plan was that my therapist would continue to "see" me via technology until I found a new therapist. I found someone, got to know her, only to have the plug pulled by my parents. I was abruptly terminated with her. I intended to leave for college with a support system in place. Instead, I have a therapist who I sort of terminated with that is still seeing me (T1), a therapist that I was supposed to transition to (T2) that is on hold until I can get a job and pay for it myself.

On top of all of this, I am so overwhelmed that I just want to cry all day long. And I've cried every day that I've been here except for one. It isn't just normal apprehension or homesickness. As some of you might also remember, I don't have a fantastic relationship with my parents. So I don't really miss them. But college itself is overwhelming. My school has about 35,000 students. The campus is like 300 acres in the middle of nowhere.

I feel like I'm watching a movie about college. Everyone is happy to be here, finding their friend groups, etc. The energy is overwhelming. I feel like I'm spending all of my energy trying to keep it together when all I want to do is sit in my room and cry. I've made a few friends but I don't feel comfortable enough to even scratch the surface of all of my personal issues. I'm trying to appear as though I'm perfectly fine but I feel like I'm being destroyed, emotionally.

I really considered taking a gap year after I graduated high school. I missed a full year of high school while I was being treated for my psychological stuff but I graduated on time with the rest of my classmates. In essence though, I'm a year behind emotionally and maturity wise. I don't even know how to make a friend. I feel like I've been thrown into a much larger version of high school and I don't know how to navigate it. I don't feel equipped to deal with this experience. I feel like I made a mistake deciding to go to college.

I think about going home and dropping out and I don't have any regret what so ever. I think that says something. I'm so unhappy that I can't imagine giving it a quarter, much less a full year. Would I be a failure if I decided that college wasn't the right thing for me?

[Travelinglady]

No, you wouldn't be a failure. But I suggest you see about psychological services on campus first. Some schools allow students to meet with counselors they have on campus for a few sessions without payment, I think. Worth checking into. It does take awhile to set up a new support system. I'm sad to hear that the one you thought was in place hasn't worked out.

It is very common for universities to have student counselors, including ones that can help you with personal issues. Take advantage of their availability. Just tell a guidance counselor there that you are having difficulty transitioning to university life without going into specifics and ask to meet with a counselor. If the school has a psychology department, it may be possible to obtain free help. Don't hesitate, do it today.

[PennyD]

Do go see the counseling available on camps as the others have stated. Take everything in stride, and one step at a time. You can do it!

To be honest, you don't necessarily have to worry about making friends. If you surround yourself with the things you enjoy doing, people who enjoy those things as well will find you and you can confide in them to an extent. Just do what you love and the right people will find their way into your life and you can call them your friends.

The most important thing is to try and not stress about it! I can understand that that may be nigh impossible, though.

You're also not a failure! Life doesn't have a set route for every person, and comparing yourself to others will only exacerbate problems. Take your time with life, and enjoy the little things.

[Rose76]

I think you should try it for one semester before giving up on it.