[bridget21*]

Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting and i'm excited to begin learning more about myself and others.

A little about me:

I am currently enrolled in a masters program in psychology. I have big career goals and a concrete plan of action for achieving these goals. I come from a middle class family but am not dependent on them for financial support. I am interested in learning more about ways to achieve my goals as a student as well as learning what to expect from new experiences in the class room.

My first issue of concern is rapport with professors and other students. As someone who is relatively new to grad school discussions I am a little unsure of how transparent to be during class. I have experienced first hand the rants of fellow students who share just a tad to much during discussion sessions and, although I am not opposed to open and honest discussion, my feeling is that fellow students and professors consider this outpour of experiences to be unprofessional and unbecoming of an aspiring professional. Am I wrong? Recently in a class exercise I was overwhelmed with emotion, and when asked to discuss the activity I began to get flustered and teary eyed. I knew that this topic had struck a cord but I wasn't sure why. I was extremely uncomfortable in this situation and felt vulnerable and out of control. I have been working extremely hard to build relationships with professors so that I may be able to utilize their connections and expertise in my future career. Will this "sign of weakness" damage my rapport with my professor?

Needless to say, the entire class witnessed my reaction to the assignment. I felt as if my emotions were disproportionate to other students in the class.

Maybe I'm over thinking it but, considering my field of study, I just want to know if it is normal to become emotional during certain discussions. I feel stable, secure, and have several social supports. I typically use coping skills such as reframing and open discussion with my paramour when I feel overwhelmed. my paramour recommended I search forums for some advice as he has had no experience in my field. What do you guys think?

It may be difficult for you to come to a conclusion based on the details given. The activity was a free association exercise and I felt singled out because my interpretation of the questions was atypical in comparison to the other students.

I look forward to your interpretations.

[specialneedsmom]

I think when students "overshare" that could be seen as unprofessional, not very adult, whatever. I don't do that & try to keep class discussions on topics not related to me. I think when people relate everything to themselves and only talk about themselves, it comes across as self-absorbed. I don't know if its normal to become emotional during certain discussions or not, I guess it depends on what the discussion is about. I try to remain detached and just stick to the topic and not tell things about myself. I don't think anyone needs to know about my personal life and I don't have to tell them.

I want to establish rapport with my professors and am working hard on that myself.

Problems I've had in the past as an undergraduate (years ago when I was younger) included over sharing with my classmates. Big mistake. I used to get nervous about tests and homework assignments, and my other classmates figured that out and exploited that weakness of mine. I never, EVER let my classmates know I am nervous or anxious about tests and homework assignments, they might just choose to gossip about me to the professor. I think it is crucial to appear confident about the class subject and how well I can do in the course. I do not trust other students, period.

If I can't get into a study group with other students, I then I make it a goal to study much harder for the tests and usually do very well on them. If I am doing well in the course, the professor usually maintains some respect for me as a student. Not always but most of the time. I've had personality conflicts with a few professors and some were, to be honest, completely unavoidable. Sometimes a professor just doesn't like a student and there is nothing he/she can do about it. In my opinion, some professors have biases against older students. I am over 40 now and honestly, if some of my professors knew that they'd probably have a problem with me. I don't tell them.

[(JD)]

Well TBH the others are just students wanting a grade like you do...and most all of them really don't care about you. (We care here though )

It could be the stress of graduate school has hit. Talk to the counselor about managing this level of study, if you can.

Are you used to sharing in front of a class of peers? It could be that added to the stress, and the disproportionate display of emotion.

Ignore the professors all you can I mean it. They are there to get a paycheck only, most of them, and if they have tenure FAGETABOUTEM altogether. Those with tenure I have found to be arrogant and juvenile in their responses.

Sorry ...but I went through years of their sniveling snobbish attitudes and found a very few good ones who helped me keep my sanity and avoid their lunacy.

[bridget21*]

Thanks so much for the feedback. I appreciate that your answers were blunt and open. I am very grateful to have a supportive counselor who was willing to talk to me about what happened. Specialneedsmom, the counselor suggested adding some self-care techniques into my new routine. These have helped tremendously. After some self-reflection I realized that I need to allow myself time to grow personally and open up to new experiences during grad school. After all, many people change so much in their mid twenties! I was focusing WAY to much on my career goals and not enough on the here and now. I think I was having difficulty finding balance between the graduate school work load and my own needs. So when the class began discussing relationships with family I became a little emotional. It turns out it is hard moving to a new place with no friend or family connections.. who'd of guessed..

In the last week I've already begun to feel more relaxed and am really starting to enjoy class discussions. It is easier to objective during these discussions now that I am making time to take care of my own relational needs. I've even started to make some friends and explore the city!

So-- all is well for now.

Again, I appreciate both specialneedsmom and JDs responses. I'm not sure if either of you work in the mental health field but, in my opinion I think it is necessary to build strong supportive relationships with your classmates and teachers. However, I will keep your seasoned advice in mind when it comes to these relationships. Fortunately I have only had positive experiences so far with both groups.

Thanks again for your feedback!