[Beachlover527]

Hello. I am a second year college student. I go to a community college and I want to transfer out of here to go to another school.
The difficulty is not knowing my major and also not knowing where I want to go.
I just don't have an opinion on where I want to go, I am not sure what is good for me but also this depends on my major because I need to go to a school that has my major.

I don't know what I want to do as a career. I've thought about this for so long. I have been asked countless times what my passion is/what I like doing and I've tried to figure out my true passion but I don't think it is my true passion.
I tried watching videos and answering questions like "What is something I would do even if I wasn't paid for it" or "What is something I must do if I knew I would die in a month".
These questions didn't really help me realistically narrow things down.

I like singing and acting. I don't think I am necessarily amazing at it and plus, it's a really hard industry to have as a career. I don't know if I truly love it. I don't know if I SHOULD go after it.
I think that I should do something that's more reasonable.
I think Hmm I should be a pre school teacher but then I think I don't have a real passion for teaching at the moment. Or I think I should work with animals but my mom wouldn't let and I don't want to either.
I am very conflicted.
I HONESTLY don't know what I want to do.
I've asked my friends and people who are close to me because they know me well but it didn't really help. I've also taken career tests and it didn't really help me either.
I've thought about so many different careers but none really POPPED out at me and made me want to CHOOSE that.

I also thought about if I were about ton die, would I be proud in the future of my life and my career. I think I would be proud of myself and my legacy if I did something that helped everyone and I lived a very self less life.
But is this realistic? Should I live my life upon this thought? What can I do that would allow me to help people while making money but not being a selfish rich person. Maybe a business owner? I don't know where to start. I don't know if I have what it takes because I am sensitive.

Plus, singing and acting isn't the kind of help I want to bring to the world.

Please help.

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[smartiesparty]

Have you looked around for certain people working in different fields who allow shadowing ? You could "peek" inside the world of their job and maybe this will make you interested?

You say that you would be happy to help others ; so maybe working in the social field would be something for you. And if you're the type who wants to start your own company, universities and colleges offer certain management classes that are quite useful.

[Beachlover527]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

Have you looked around for certain people working in different fields who allow shadowing ? You could "peek" inside the world of their job and maybe this will make you interested?

You say that you would be happy to help others ; so maybe working in the social field would be something for you. And if you're the type who wants to start your own company, universities and colleges offer certain management classes that are quite useful.

No, I have not looked around. I don't know where to start or how it works. I thought about being a therapist and technically I have been "shadowing" a therapist because I had one. But I don't think I would be able to handle people's traumatic stories and deal with people who won't cooperate with me.

What are some social fields?
I know that I love working in groups and I love being around people. I thought about event planning and watched a video on an event planner talking about her job and what it takes.

Still not sure if I want to do that.
Thanks for replying

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[Mountainbard]

In pretty much any area of social work you're going to have to deal with traumatic stories and uncooperative clients. Can you get career counseling through your college?

[Beachlover527]

Originally Posted by Mountainbard

In pretty much any area of social work you're going to have to deal with traumatic stories and uncooperative clients. Can you get career counseling through your college?

That is true. There are counselors but I don't think they will help me pick one. There is a class for counseling for people who are lost and I was in it during the summer but thought it was too early and a waste of time so I dropped it.
I wish I had a sense of what direction I wanted to go towards..

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[Mountainbard]

You never know until you try. There should be people who specifically do career counseling, and they might be a lot more helpful than you think.

[Beachlover527]

Originally Posted by Mountainbard

You never know until you try. There should be people who specifically do career counseling, and they might be a lot more helpful than you think.

Alrighty
I will check them out
I just panic because I'm not sure what to do
Not sure if they'll be much help
I kinda know I want to do performing arts but I don't feel safe in that path
I don't feel really confident or secure about that

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[Open Eyes]

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with persuing the performing arts. There are so many off shoots that a person can end up being involved in when it comes to the performing arts. You could major in the performing arts and minor in psychology. And having a minor in psychology doesn't have to mean becoming a psychologist either. It is often helpful when pursuing a career in teaching and interacting with others. It really does take time for a person to finally realize what they want to be, that comes with experiencing life and being exposed to different things. You may end up becoming a producer or experiencing your love of the performing arts behind the scenes rather than being in the scene of being the performing artist.

I worked for a man who turned his love of performing arts and animals into becoming an animal trainer that trained animals to play different parts in the movies and the theater. He trained the dogs that were in Annie, remember Annie's dog? I spent an entire day in Manhattan with one of my ponies filming a segment of an off shoot of Sesame Street (this animal trainer did not have a pony and had heard about how nice my ponies are). I got to see how they actually have all the sets for when they do the puppets and I got to see a lot of different individuals that did all different kinds of jobs that revolved around the production of that TV series. Everything is up in the air, all the sets and the puppeteirs stand under the sets with the puppets. My pony had all this activity going on around her and she was GREAT with it all. I found myself wishing I had been exposed to that when I was younger because I would have loved involving my love for music, the performing arts, childhood imagination/creativeness and creating puppets and even loving animals and using them in creative ways. I did eventually do that and developed my own business.

Don't beat yourself for not quite knowing what you want to be in life "yet", allow yourself to get exposed to as much as you can that might have anything to do with the things you do love to do.

[Beachlover527]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I personally don't think there is anything wrong with persuing the performing arts. There are so many off shoots that a person can end up being involved in when it comes to the performing arts. You could major in the performing arts and minor in psychology. And having a minor in psychology doesn't have to mean becoming a psychologist either. It is often helpful when pursuing a career in teaching and interacting with others. It really does take time for a person to finally realize what they want to be, that comes with experiencing life and being exposed to different things. You may end up becoming a producer or experiencing your love of the performing arts behind the scenes rather than being in the scene of being the performing artist.

I worked for a man who turned his love of performing arts and animals into becoming an animal trainer that trained animals to play different parts in the movies and the theater. He trained the dogs that were in Annie, remember Annie's dog? I spent an entire day in Manhattan with one of my ponies filming a segment of an off shoot of Sesame Street (this animal trainer did not have a pony and had heard about how nice my ponies are). I got to see how they actually have all the sets for when they do the puppets and I got to see a lot of different individuals that did all different kinds of jobs that revolved around the production of that TV series. Everything is up in the air, all the sets and the puppeteirs stand under the sets with the puppets. My pony had all this activity going on around her and she was GREAT with it all. I found myself wishing I had been exposed to that when I was younger because I would have loved involving my love for music, the performing arts, childhood imagination/creativeness and creating puppets and even loving animals and using them in creative ways. I did eventually do that and developed my own business.

Don't beat yourself for not quite knowing what you want to be in life "yet", allow yourself to get exposed to as much as you can that might have anything to do with the things you do love to do.

I absolutely love your comment.
Thank you.
I don't think I believe I am good enough for a performing arts career you know?
I spend most of my life (I'm 19) thinking I was going to be an actress and singer and when reality hit, I thought "Oh god. I told everyone I wanted to do this career but it's actually not as easy as I thought. I have not thought about other possible careers."
That is very inspiring to hear.
I do love creative things.
I was thinking, if I was at some type of school and they had a Performing Arts, English, Science, Math, Engineering, Computer; I would probably choose going to the Performing Arts family because it excites me.

I know I really enjoy being in front of the camera and entertaining but maybe directing or producing would be nice too.

I just don't think I am good enough + I have anxiety and depression so I'm freaking out about this and I feel panicked and hopeless.

I really love that your friend combined the two and turned it into a job he loved. I love performing arts and animals also.

Also, what is your business you created??


I keep thinking I could do another job and that I'll find my true passion soon enough.

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[Beachlover527]

I also think performers need to be naturally outgoing but for me, I fake being outgoing. I have social anxiety and I feel like to be an actress, you have to be super outgoing and when you audition you need to be. Inside I think I am an introvert or an ambivert

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[Open Eyes]

Well, I loved all of the arts, singing, writing, painting, drawing and entertaining. I was a lead singer in a band at around your age too. I did sing in chorus all through school, even high school and I always aced the arts. I always loved horses and children too and like you helping others. I understand your concern about being a therapist, that is not an easy career, yes, that career requires being able to hear a lot of different challenges and really being able to help others help themselves. I did love being on stage and performing, but I did not like living by night nor did I care for the kind of people in that environment. I was really too young and niaeve to handle all that I had experienced in that career. I did learn a lot by the exposure I had in that career though.

It's not unusual to have self doubts like you have, but you know what? You will never know unless you try it and you only have one life and you might as well try it if you really want to. So what if you don't have a lot of great success, but what if you do?
A big part of what gets a person "there" is their desire to do so. And, it's a lot of fun to be around other creative people if one is themselves creative.

I went to business school and I met my husband and we got married when I was 24. I worked in sales actually for a while and I learned a lot doing that. I also liked to work as a temp and I definitely learned a lot doing that, got me in all different kinds of businesses and I got to see all different kinds of jobs and businesses. All that helped me when I had my own child, had to find something to do while I was home when she needed me to be because she had a learning disability. I combined all that I had learned to create my own business around my child. I ended up getting her a pony and decided to take that pony out to parties, but I also used all that I had learned to slowly develop that and I bought some land and slowly made my own little farm, gave lessons, also did a lot with handicapped children/ special needs children and I used everything I had learned and applied that to my own business. I have met all kinds of people from all different walks of life and I also was "there" for my own child as she needed and she got to be exposed to business and being around all kinds of people and teaching and training and all that helped her to have her own career eventually.

I never would have guessed at age 19 that I would end up doing what I eventually did do either. So my advice is "allow yourself to explore" because it's really amazing how it can all come together in a career you may not ever guess having. My daughter started college thinking she was going to become a teacher, maybe a math teacher. She majored in math and minored in psychology. She never ended up becoming a teacher but works for a very big company using her math skills in a way at 19 she never imagined. All that she did learn ended up helping her end up having a really good job and making good money too. What benefited her the most, was desire to learn how to learn, enjoy the learning and keeping an open mind. We often do not know we can be great or good at something until we try.

[Open Eyes]

Beachlover, did you know that many performers struggle with social anxiety? Barbara Streisand suffered from horrible stage fright, but one would never know it by watching her perform. Also Micheal Jackson had social anxiety, but look how great he was when he performed. There is a difference between a performing artist and one who is naturally social. You should take some time and check out some biographies of some famous people. A lot of performing artists "fake" being outgoing socially.

Besides, you are only just 19, plenty of time to develop a better sense of being more socially outgoing. Social anxiety, is "fear of", that can be overcome.

[Beachlover527]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Well, I loved all of the arts, singing, writing, painting, drawing and entertaining. I was a lead singer in a band at around your age too. I did sing in chorus all through school, even high school and I always aced the arts. I always loved horses and children too and like you helping others. I understand your concern about being a therapist, that is not an easy career, yes, that career requires being able to hear a lot of different challenges and really being able to help others help themselves. I did love being on stage and performing, but I did not like living by night nor did I care for the kind of people in that environment. I was really too young and niaeve to handle all that I had experienced in that career. I did learn a lot by the exposure I had in that career though.

It's not unusual to have self doubts like you have, but you know what? You will never know unless you try it and you only have one life and you might as well try it if you really want to. So what if you don't have a lot of great success, but what if you do?
A big part of what gets a person "there" is their desire to do so. And, it's a lot of fun to be around other creative people if one is themselves creative.

I went to business school and I met my husband and we got married when I was 24. I worked in sales actually for a while and I learned a lot doing that. I also liked to work as a temp and I definitely learned a lot doing that, got me in all different kinds of businesses and I got to see all different kinds of jobs and businesses. All that helped me when I had my own child, had to find something to do while I was home when she needed me to be because she had a learning disability. I combined all that I had learned to create my own business around my child. I ended up getting her a pony and decided to take that pony out to parties, but I also used all that I had learned to slowly develop that and I bought some land and slowly made my own little farm, gave lessons, also did a lot with handicapped children/ special needs children and I used everything I had learned and applied that to my own business. I have met all kinds of people from all different walks of life and I also was "there" for my own child as she needed and she got to be exposed to business and being around all kinds of people and teaching and training and all that helped her to have her own career eventually.

I never would have guessed at age 19 that I would end up doing what I eventually did do either. So my advice is "allow yourself to explore" because it's really amazing how it can all come together in a career you may not ever guess having. My daughter started college thinking she was going to become a teacher, maybe a math teacher. She majored in math and minored in psychology. She never ended up becoming a teacher but works for a very big company using her math skills in a way at 19 she never imagined. All that she did learn ended up helping her end up having a really good job and making good money too. What benefited her the most, was desire to learn how to learn, enjoy the learning and keeping an open mind. We often do not know we can be great or good at something until we try.

Wow I appreciate your comment a lot.
I was feeling very hopeless.
I am really really scared to do performing arts.
I also love drawing, painting, writing, entertaining and I was also in choir in high school for all 4 years.
Right now, I am in a vocal jazz group at my community college.

I really am taking in what you are saying.
That is so inspiring.
Having a business which helps disabled children. That sounds like a pretty awesome job.

You are right. I need to explore my world in order to bring pieces together.
I am very terrified of the future though. How did you cope with feeling lost, low self esteem, panicking?

And about the celebrities with social anxiety, wow I did not know that.
That makes me feel like I too can become a star even though I am a little shy.

Thank you so much OpenEyes

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[Open Eyes]

You are welcome Beachlover. It's really not unusual for someone your age to be anxious and fearful and feel somewhat lost about what they want to do for a career. The average student graduating from High School tends to think too much about not achieving perfection or enough standing in High School, so it's not unusual to struggle with self esteem. The most important thing is to slowly develope a mindset where you begin to enjoy learning how to learn. And guess what, "most" if not "all" individuals your age are in many ways "faking it". And at 19 your brain is not even fully developed either, that doesn't happen until someone reaches around age 25.

Right now the next thing you need to just focus on is learning how to adjust to learning how to learn in an environment that is different from High School. You are really not going to know "yet" what fits you until you experience some different things. The fact that you are drawn to the arts is a good thing, but be patient with yourself in developing yourself artistically ok?

[Beachlover527]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

You are welcome Beachlover. It's really not unusual for someone your age to be anxious and fearful and feel somewhat lost about what they want to do for a career. The average student graduating from High School tends to think too much about not achieving perfection or enough standing in High School, so it's not unusual to struggle with self esteem. The most important thing is to slowly develope a mindset where you begin to enjoy learning how to learn. And guess what, "most" if not "all" individuals your age are in many ways "faking it". And at 19 your brain is not even fully developed either, that doesn't happen until someone reaches around age 25.

Right now the next thing you need to just focus on is learning how to adjust to learning how to learn in an environment that is different from High School. You are really not going to know "yet" what fits you until you experience some different things. The fact that you are drawn to the arts is a good thing, but be patient with yourself in developing yourself artistically ok?

That makes me feel better.
The thing is that I'm a sophomore at my community college. I want to transfer out of here after 2-3 years so I need to figure out my major. My sister transferred out of community college after 2 years. If I apply to schools right now, and if they accept me for next year, I too would be like her.
I don't want to stay here for 3 years.
The thing is- I do not know what I want to do or where I want to go. And the pressure of not being sure is stressful....
I seriously need to figure out my major now to take classes for it so I can transfer.
Time is ticking.

:O

[Open Eyes]

Ok, I understand. All you can do is look at what you are most interested in and that you have stated is the performing arts. Then you should look for something that is in that direction with a minor in something else, which could be psychology.

Remember, time is always going to be ticking and you just have to learn how to ignore that and do your best to move forward the best way you can (and you are only 19 and you do have more time then you think). If you really like the performing arts, then I genuinely don't see any reason why you should not go for that path and see what happens. We always take something away from every path we choose, remember that.

When I was your age, as I mentioned I did love the arts and music and the performing arts. I took art lessons and I also took voice lessons too. I found a couple that taught voice and they were both involved in theater in NY city. He was a song writer and she was a singer/performer. They were a neat couple and really all about the theater and performing arts. One day she suggested I try out for a lead singer that a band was looking for and had approached her. So, I wasn't out there on my own looking to be a lead singer, the opportunity just presented itself and I went and auditioned and they liked me. Then I had to meet with them and work on building a repertoire and that took time because we had to have enough songs to fill three sets. When I say sets, what I mean by that is that in performing night clubs the band performs in a period of time called a set and then they take a break for about 20 minutes and then return to the stage to do another set, there are typically three sets, each lasting for about an hour to an hour and a half.

Back then there was live entertainment and a lot of different clubs to work, some of these clubs were really nice clubs with nice stages and dance floors. They really don't have that now like they used to. I worked in clubs that had entertainment 6 nights a week. So, I was on stage almost every night. Then we had to fit in a practice night to add new songs too. So I was always singing. You know I got so I knew the songs so well that I often caught myself singing and my mind would be thinking about something else. That was interesting to experience.

I remember the first night when we played and the audience was so quiet, just staring at us, no clapping, it was so weird, did they like us? Well, that was answered not by claps but by the club getting very crowded. If you draw a crowd, you are being enjoyed and more importantly making money for the club and that gets the band more gigs. Well, at 19/20 do you think I just happened to know all that? Nope, but I definitely did learn. Hey, I could have flopped, I took a chance, why not, and I did not flop.

I learned so much doing that, met a lot of people, all kinds of people in all different kinds of clubs. I ended up walking away from it though, I decided I did not want to live that life. I don't regret making that decision, and I did enjoy experiencing that and I am glad I went to that audition and got to experience all that. I can look back and think about how I experienced what it is like to be on stage, be a lead singer and entertain crowds. It's scary at first, but the more one does it, the more it's not so scary. Learning that in itself was important because when I would enter any other new adventure and was nervous, I always remember that I was like that and got over it.

Actually, learning to be an entertainer is not the same as socializing. Being a good performing artist is more about learning how to play a part and getting comfortable with that part as I did with that repertoire.

[Beachlover527]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Ok, I understand. All you can do is look at what you are most interested in and that you have stated is the performing arts. Then you should look for something that is in that direction with a minor in something else, which could be psychology.

Remember, time is always going to be ticking and you just have to learn how to ignore that and do your best to move forward the best way you can (and you are only 19 and you do have more time then you think). If you really like the performing arts, then I genuinely don't see any reason why you should not go for that path and see what happens. We always take something away from every path we choose, remember that.

When I was your age, as I mentioned I did love the arts and music and the performing arts. I took art lessons and I also took voice lessons too. I found a couple that taught voice and they were both involved in theater in NY city. He was a song writer and she was a singer/performer. They were a neat couple and really all about the theater and performing arts. One day she suggested I try out for a lead singer that a band was looking for and had approached her. So, I wasn't out there on my own looking to be a lead singer, the opportunity just presented itself and I went and auditioned and they liked me. Then I had to meet with them and work on building a repertoire and that took time because we had to have enough songs to fill three sets. When I say sets, what I mean by that is that in performing night clubs the band performs in a period of time called a set and then they take a break for about 20 minutes and then return to the stage to do another set, there are typically three sets, each lasting for about an hour to an hour and a half.

Back then there was live entertainment and a lot of different clubs to work, some of these clubs were really nice clubs with nice stages and dance floors. They really don't have that now like they used to. I worked in clubs that had entertainment 6 nights a week. So, I was on stage almost every night. Then we had to fit in a practice night to add new songs too. So I was always singing. You know I got so I knew the songs so well that I often caught myself singing and my mind would be thinking about something else. That was interesting to experience.

I remember the first night when we played and the audience was so quiet, just staring at us, no clapping, it was so weird, did they like us? Well, that was answered not by claps but by the club getting very crowded. If you draw a crowd, you are being enjoyed and more importantly making money for the club and that gets the band more gigs. Well, at 19/20 do you think I just happened to know all that? Nope, but I definitely did learn. Hey, I could have flopped, I took a chance, why not, and I did not flop.

I learned so much doing that, met a lot of people, all kinds of people in all different kinds of clubs. I ended up walking away from it though, I decided I did not want to live that life. I don't regret making that decision, and I did enjoy experiencing that and I am glad I went to that audition and got to experience all that. I can look back and think about how I experienced what it is like to be on stage, be a lead singer and entertain crowds. It's scary at first, but the more one does it, the more it's not so scary. Learning that in itself was important because when I would enter any other new adventure and was nervous, I always remember that I was like that and got over it.

Actually, learning to be an entertainer is not the same as socializing. Being a good performing artist is more about learning how to play a part and getting comfortable with that part as I did with that repertoire.

I'm still unsure about performing arts. Today I was watching a video in my Energy conservation class and people travelled to Iceland to take pictures of melting ice caps and that sounded pretty fun to me too. To be able to travel and work with people to take pictures of nature.

That is awesome. That sounds like you lived a really good life in your young adulthood. I have also taken voice lessons but stopped after a month to take piano lessons.

That is so cool. Being able to entertain audiences at clubs and such, you must be an amazing singer.

I just don't want to choose a career I sort of like. I want to choose one where it challenges me everyday and excites my inner soul and body. It is so very hard to choose.

That is great that performing allowed you to get past obstacles you came across. Very good mindset.

I just feel like performers can interact with people so easily and it doesn't cross their mind the fear and anxiety of what that person thinks of them. Idk they play it well

[Open Eyes]

Oh, a lot of people in the performing arts tend to create a false persona. I have watched documentaries on many of the stars and was surprised to see how different their lives really were compared to what they showed to society. Oh, a lot of actors have social anxieties, they just don't show it.

You sound like me at your age, I did not know which path to choose because I loved all of the arts. Oh photography is definitely an art but depending on what a person is trying to capture in a shot, they might have to sit for hours and wait for that moment to present itself. I have a pond on my little farm that is so busy with wildlife. Last year we had an otter decide to move in and I could not believe it, that was something I had never expected to see. A friend of ours does photography and he came and set up a blind and he would sit there for hours waiting for this otter to come out and feed and play so he could get pictures of it. I now have a picture of this otter thanks to my friend in case someone doesn't believe I did have an otter that came and lived at our pond for a few months. He finally moved on when the pond completely froze over. I am sure he ate a lot of my fish, and I have to be honest, I was worried that he may have ate too many. A pond needs to have fish to stay healthy and my pond is a food source for hawks and all different kinds of wild life. I also have fresh water clams in my pond that get as big if not bigger than my hands. That pond is one of my favorite things about my little farm because I love animals and wildlife so much.

I think it's important to keep in mind that with photography, it requires patience and it is not something "instant". It is definitely an art though and one has to be very observant.

Well, maybe you can see if there is a course in photography too at whatever college you look into.