[August7682]

I had a panic attack at school and some kids filmed it and were watching it and laughing about it today.. I'm so sick of this. I am really over everyone being mean and other crap i guess. I felt so embarrassed and mad at them, but I didn't have the courage to ask them to delete the video. I don't usually get bullied a lot but this just kinda got to me. Sorry this is so random. I needed to rant.

[DesigningWoman]

That does suck. I am so sorry.
I wish I had great advice for dealing with bullying. I never did find anything that worked for me. I was publicly sexually humiliated at school. After awhile, I became entirely focused on my survival.
As an adult the one thing I would say to a younger me and to you is that it will get better. I promise.
Junior and senior high school are hell for pretty much everybody, but there is a huge world out there. Soon you will have your freedom and a fighting spirit to boot. You will be able to do anything. You will meet people that you never imagined while you were in school. You will find quirky, wonderful individuals, who may have suffered just like you. But after awhile you will forget about your shared scars and think mostly about your life, your tribe of friends and family, weekends off, trips, jobs, fun, romance, your life as it is.
I can promise you this, because it's my story. Plus, the story of really all my friends.
Always Keep going. Take care of yourself the absolute best you possibly can. In dark moments, please remember that what you are going through is going to end. It will get better. You will get better. On the other side there is a better world and life waiting for you.

[Writer82]

I was never bullied, but here is something to look forward to. In 2010, I went to my 10 year high school reunion, and it was fun. Everything was forgotten and we just had a good time. The one thing that really made me laugh is one guy who was popular in high school always seemed to ignore me. It was like I was non-existent. At the class reunion, he was flirting with me, shamelessly with my husband right there. I had to laugh. Things turn around. The losers who have nothing better to do than to laugh at you will never change. They will never grow, and make a life for themselves. Then maybe one day you will be their boss.

[DesigningWoman]

I did think of something else. You mentioned you didn't have the courage to confront those who were laughing at you. My reading of this situation was that the only ones lacking courage were those watching the video of you in distress. Most abusers aka bullies are very insecure. They are weak for going with the crowd. Even though you may not feel it, you are the courageous one in that classroom.

DW