[coldwut]

I haven't been taking my meds properly due to not being able to pay for them right so I tend to skip days to make them last longer. I chose my education (text books) over my health and I'm suffering.

I've been more agitated and I can't shake off the thoughts that my food is being poisoned so I haven't been eating much and I need to not sleep but I keep failing at that and I can't tell people because it's my fault in the first place for not taking my meds and I didn't know how to ask for help.

It's hard to concentrate in class because of my agitation and paranoia and I have to wait until the weekend to get my meds.

[Perna]

It sounds like you know you are thinking these things and they are not true. I would keep reminding myself of that and treat it like any other fear and "do it" anyway? Make yourself eat a balanced diet and go to bed on time at night. If you have an English course or interesting course that has a lot of extra reading, take a book to bed and do some reading before you try to get to sleep. I like to read before sleep as it gives me something "else" to think about as I am trying to go to sleep, I can think about the book situations and characters instead of worrying about my own.

One thing I do to keep my thinking in check is to remind myself of my own history. Have you thought you were being poisoned before? Were you poisoned? Then why would that be different now. Remind yourself it is just your thoughts and see if you can laugh at or make fun of them and "enjoy" them that way. If you call their bluff, they can look ridiculous and will tend to go away. Who or why would anyone want to poison you? Think about who might be poisoned, spies or Sleeping Beauty or Snow White. Imagine yourself as Prince Charming You "know" your thinking/feeling is a bit off so take it to an extreme so it is a bit funny. Would you kiss a "Beauty" in this world, sleeping with drool wetting their pillow? Study obscure people who died by poison? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giovan...ella_Mirandola

[DesigningWoman]

I would suggest being very honest with your doctor about your financial situation. Tell him or her you are having to skip doses and it is really hurting you. There are programs for those in need to help pay for psych meds. I was really hurting financially in undergrad. I had health insurance, but I paying large sums every month for abilify. I finally explained to my pdoc my situation. It turned out there was a program from the drug company to get a big reduction in the cost of every bottle of Abilify.
I thought because i had health insurance I would never qualify for financial assistance. Since I didn't ask for it, my pdoc assumed I must be fine financially. Case of incorrect assumptions on both parts. I was on that program for a couple years. It saved me a lot of money.
It's hard at least for me to admit financial difficulties. I recently needed forms signed by the Uni to apply for the first time ever for state food stamps. I felt humiliated and ashamed. Then I thought "you know, the Uni should be ashamed that I work for them and am so far below the established poverty line that i can't buy food. They should pay a living wage." I got the forms signed by Uni and have my food stamp card now. I am not proud, but I refuse to cower in shame or apologize either. Social programs are there as a safety net. So I need it right now. Big deal.

[coldwut]

I found out I had leftover money from financial aid, which will help me pay for my text books, and I get paid this week.

It was a start of a new semester and I didn't have any money to pay for my textbooks, so I had to rely on family members for some money, and I only worked less than 10 hours at my work study, and that money went to books.

It should resolve itself as all I have to pay for school wise are books. It's just that not having money the start of this semester really hurt me.

I also need to find a way to compare pharmacy prices because I know some have higher prices than others.