[lorsay]

Okay so I'll try to make this as brief as possible. For the last 5 years I've worked off and on as an exotic dancer. This involved getting licensed in the counties where I worked. The clubs started getting bad...customers getting handsy, other girls prostituting themselves and doing drugs, to the point that it made work unbearable for me. With the help of my husband I left the industry, but I also left my only source of income. My husband works but I made 3x what he did. My car broke down and I could not afford to get it fixed so I junked it. I'm now at home with our 2 year old. I can't find a job because of the huge gap in my resume (leaving out my stripping history.) I'd like to go back to school but have no idea what to do. I have a general associate's degree,but no bacholer's. I'd like to work in health care but worry about the adult license following me in a background check. I feel like I've ruined my life. I have obsessive thoughts about this every day. I love my child but I'm used to working and making good money. I hate sitting at home all day with no car, no job, no direction and no future. Any advice would be appreciated...Even how to stop the obsessive thoughts and calm down.

[Skeezyks]

Hello lorsay: (I will just mention that I am a former vocational rehabilitation counselor. So this is hopefully to some extent, up my alley, as they say.) I don't know how things work in Illinois, but I would presume there is nothing illegal about being licensed to work as an exotic dancer. Background checks are done to check for past criminal activity. So I don't know if your exotic dancer license would show up. But, if it did, is it possible there could be an employer who would not hire you because of it? Sure... employers can find all sorts of reasons not to hire someone. But that's no reason not to forge ahead!

There's a lot I could tell you with regard to how to handle this sort of thing. But I don't want to be writing a book here. My suggestion is to take a job seeking skills training class somewhere... perhaps through your local state employment service or a community college. There you can learn & practice job seeking techniques to help you handle such potential obstacles as your exotic dancer license & the "gap" in your work history. Successful job seeking is a set of skills one can learn. There may also be some vocational testing you could access that would help you to figure out what types of work you'd like to train for & do.

Beyond that I would suggest part of the problem here is you're at home ruminating about your situation. And the more you think about it, the bigger the problem seems to be. You need to get out & do some things to get out of the house. Of course, where you live makes a difference. If you live in a metropolitan area there will be more options than there are in a small town. However, in general, consider joining a moms' support group or other type of support group. Perhaps there is some sort of support group geared specifically toward job seekers... maybe even specifically toward women who are seeking to return to the work force.

Another option may be to perhaps do some volunteer work. Doing some volunteer work would not only get you out, but it could possibly provide you with some valuable references, something current to add to your resume or application forms, as well as useful experience. Plus, helping others is pretty-much an accepted depression buster. One can be very proud of the work they do as a volunteer. Your obsessive thoughts & anxiety are a result of being alone at home with your 2 year old thinking over-&-over about what has become of you. The best way, the only way really, to combat this is to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, & make some things happen for yourself. Otherwise, you're simply going to continue to experience more of the same. You can do this. It's just a matter of making a start.

[Talthybius]

You need to try to turn obsessive thought into obsessive positive action.

If you think you need to go back to college, don't hesitate but do it.

[Perna]

Lorsay, I would explore wanting to help the other girls in the clubs who want to get out or want/need health care, etc.? If you were to study social work or public health care for that reason, I think your time in the clubs would be an asset rather than a liability.

Explore Public Health Careers - Public Health

[alicetailor]

Originally Posted by lorsay

Okay so I'll try to make this as brief as possible. For the last 5 years I've worked off and on as an exotic dancer. This involved getting licensed in the counties where I worked. The clubs started getting bad...customers getting handsy, other girls prostituting themselves and doing drugs, to the point that it made work unbearable for me. With the help of my husband I left the industry, but I also left my only source of income. My husband works but I made 3x what he did. My car broke down and I could not afford to get it fixed so I junked it. I'm now at home with our 2 year old. I can't find a job because of the huge gap in my resume (leaving out my stripping history.) I'd like to go back to school but have no idea what to do. I have a general associate's degree,but no bacholer's. I'd like to work in health care but worry about the adult license following me in a background check. I feel like I've ruined my life. I have obsessive thoughts about this every day. I love my child but I'm used to working and making good money. I hate sitting at home all day with no car, no job, no direction and no future. Any advice would be appreciated...Even how to stop the obsessive thoughts and calm down.

Why don’t you try as a choreographer?