[PeachCream22]

My first day during my internship wasn’t too bad, but the second day sucked big time. My project officer treats me like I don’t exist. Sure, she’s nice, but the way she talks to me. So rude. Only a few colleagues are nice. The rest of them are Chinese people and the other Indians plus the mean project officer … makes me feel left out. The way they look at me and judge me all the time. Being invited to a gathering at the other faculty made me feel worse. I felt intimidated by all the people there, talking, networking, people who knew what they were doing and felt at ease. I wanted to drink all the beer and get drunk and shout obscenities.

They talked to each other about the experiments like it was nothing, and then the next minute they can joke and gossip about anything, and I am outside their tribe. The awkward newbie intern who is probably not going to have a bright future, considering how little she knows about lab work and how she does her research. I read 3 articles and I couldn’t understand a thing. I read the protocols and couldn’t understand a thing. Okay, maybe I could understand a few things. But the literature review, my God. It was harrowing just sitting there in the office and doing reading. I don’t know what am I supposed to do. I even feel self-conscious about my laptop making dying whale sounds and even going out of the door, because I’d need an access card to get in, and I’d have to knock the door and someone would have to let me in, most probably one of the other colleagues who looks as if my inferior self I shouldn’t exist.

I am so stressed. I almost burst into tears at the internship table. Thank goodness for the weekend. I really hope I can start my project soon, because I'm still not issued a work pass yet due to some delays at the ministry. It's been a week of delay now.

I'm lonely, i miss my home overseas, I'm tired, i miss my friends, i miss my family, my work pass is still being delayed, I'm confused, I'm upset, I'm worried i can't finish my project in time due to the delay, i'm worried I'll be a burden in the lab and get kicked out because i'm just so out of place. This overseas internship had me re-thinking about life and how I never wanted to be in my course in the first place. It's too painful and scary. Please, I need help on how to cope with this anxiety and do my best and motivate myself.

[Eleora]

You're an intern so odds are you may or may not get to do the actual work the hired employees do. It is hit or miss for a lot of employees. Some employers view you as the person to do the grudge work, others want you to have a learning experience. Either way, feeling overwhelming in the beginning of anything new is normal; and this is a new internship, with new duties, with a new social group... that's a lot. You'd be weird if you weren't overwhelmed.

Do not be afraid to ask questions. You're an intern, not a psychic or savant. You are learning a new job, regardless of your background.

Do not beat yourself up. I get overwhelmed starting new things, especially jobs. It's hard. But it should get easier and you'll start to know people and go from there. Even just saying hello to people every day should go a long way.

Hope that helps. You are definitely not alone.

[Strive4health]

Eww, I remember writing literature reviews back in my university years! They suck, but sometimes it's icky stuff you have to do.

I think Eleora has good advice by pointing out you're an intern and it's a new job. Every new job always has its learning curve, even if you've had a similar job because companies do things differently. Are they willing to train you? If so, consider yourself lucky. Most employers don't bother with training anymore.

Next week, I'll be in a similar boat as an intern. I hope the learning curve isn't too much.

[Talthybius]

If it 'funny' for me to read this. You might be someone at the same faculty I am. I know there must be people struggling. Especially foreigners. But I feel I wouldn't notice or wouldn't be able to help even if I did.

I have all kinds of baggage and problems 'normal' people don't have. I also have problems accepting that there are no 'normal' people, and that everyone struggles. I guess I am lucky all the academic stuff is not a problem for me.

I recently also tried to network at a faculty party. I only did so because of a special reason/person. I found out that at age 33, I can actually network a bit. I can't imagine how I would have survived at age 20. As for my special reason, my hopes and feelings there where crashed in spectacular fashion at exaclty that faculty party.

Most of the evening though, I didn't talk to the girl sitting at the table to the left of me. She might have been you. And I am not sure if she talked to the other people there. I didn't know anyone, as I am a student who did a 4 week project. I only knew 3 other students, and they decided to sit somewhere else (special person included, as special person avoided me). There was actually an asian person sitting across me that was atypical and reached out to me a bit(turned out she actually shares my nationality). The people I was vaguely familiar with, they were sitting too far away for me to talk to. It is hard, this networking with strangers. And this foreigner girl next to me, I had nothing to offer to her. And that despite my goal of someday, at some age, becoming a person who makes others feel comfortable, included, at ease, and someone who can get a social event moving. Rather than just being that silent person that only listens and then says something witty or interesting only once every half an hour.

At least my experiences made me feel a tiny bit better about my own eventual overseas internship. But I still feel that's going to be hell. But I want to go through it because I want to know I am strong and social enough to do it.

At the same time I know that my person of special interest is, or appears to be, as your exact polar opposite, and mine as well. And that she probably likes someone who is even better than she is. And she is masterful.
A faculty of people aged 25 to 65, all from different cultures, she seemed so at ease in that enviroment, talking to everyone. Making a connection with everyone. Impression most, I am sure. But I doubt you want to hear more, I fall in my mistake of talking too much about myself.

What can I say? I am supposed to be able to give advice, as I have been in similar situations, though I have experienced them differently. The review paper, that is supposed to be new material to you. If you don't understand something, just ask your supervisor anyway. It is her(?) job. So she will do so, even if she rather spend her time on something else. And it's still the first few days, so it won't be odd. If you ask the same questions over and over 3 weeks in, sure then she will be annoyed.

You say you look forward to the weekends the most. The weekends is what dread my the most about going overseas. Can I ask you how you spend them? I see myself locked in my room, alone, behind my computer, in some huge city somewhere, not knowing anyone and not feeling a connection with anyone.

I did internships a couple times before but never overseas. I felt the exact same way you did. New people, new environment, i felt unprepared and out of place. Anxious, clueless and frustrated. Somehow i made it through all of them unscathed. I generally just kept to myself and was friendly to anyone who approached me. And I'm not sure if I did my best at netwotking, but I still email my old supervisors every now and then. What was nice about those internships was that I always got feedback from my supervisors. Every single one of them said I should have opened up more and approached others more often, that this was my opportunity to learn and no one else has more influence on the outcome than myself. And that's what I would like to pass on to you. I don't want to get all cheesy, but there's this poem called invictus (I think, hehe) that goes like this "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul". You and only you are in charge of the outcome. They put you on the team for a reason, they believe you are capable of handling the work. You got this gurl!!

Some more of my two cents/things that help when I get anxious:
- breathing exercises/clearing my mind
- free writw everything that's on my mind, not worrying about structure or neatness, writing just to write
- possible ice breakers: any recommendations for restaurants, bars, music, etc? Any advice for a newcomer? How did you get your start at this company? Are you originally from this area?
- ALWAYS ask questions if you dont know something or can't figure something out, show's you're assertive, willing to learn, interest in company''s outcome and people don't like having to redo someone else's work (trust me on this one)
- bring in some coffee one day, write a little note them, and put it in the break room. But I would bring the coffee to those who you work directly with (person who oversees you, teammates, project partner...)
- schedule some time in to call or chat with whoever it is that's you're go to cheerleader for support

That's all I got. That turned out to be longer than I expected. I wish you the best of luck! You got this!!