[sadstarkid]

hello everyone. i'm a 17 year old high school student. i am in 12th grade, but i'm graduating in three years or less (as im very behind). i have a lot of physical and mental disorders (gad, mdd, ptsd, bpd, add, psychosis, gender dysphoria, suspected autism, ect) and am mostly always anxious or sad. i have no hobbies or support system. i dont have a therapist, but i do have a psychiatrist who takes care of my medications. im going to an alternative high school with tiny classes. there's the teacher, and then anywhere from 2 to 15 students per class. i dont have any friends at school, except for my brother who is in 9th grade. i find it very hard to socialize and make friends. the main problem i have with school though, is attendance. our school year started on september 6th and i've missed 23 days of school, 24 if you count today. i just cant find the motivation or will to go. punishments don't affect me, neither do rewards. i feel hopeless. i wanted to be a marine biologist, but i do not have the grades. i have no future ahead of me. i have a very strong belief (my old therapists called it a 'delusion') that i will die before im 25. so many things are overwhelming to me, and i've always had strong suicidal tendencies. i used to cut every day, i've been clean for a year, but i have supplies and im ready to start again. anyway, this accidentally turned into a bit of a rant but it also sheds some light on my situation. if anyone has any tips for motivating themselves to go to school, any advice or tips, it's all welcome. thank you so much.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm 18 and I completely understand what you're going through.. I don't have advice to give But I hear you. And I wish you good luck.

[Row Jimmy]

I am a high school teacher - I work with a lot of students that share your issues so I'll relay what I tell them when they're struggling. What I'm going to say might sound harsh but I'll have a bash at it and we'll see where it goes. How does that sound?

Excellent! So here we go! Let me start by saying I recognize all of the issues you face. None of them are easy and it is difficult to walk the path alone. A lot of my students come from homes in which there's no sympathy or support. But your biggest problem is one you can't quite solve just yet. You're just a kid! I am 50 years old so what I offer has some merit.......and believe me when I tell you, I have lived 250 lives in those 50 years! I'm bipolar, suffered from substance abuse for years before I became a teacher, and was generally self destructive in much of what I did in life. I passed out in my driveway, twice. I threw trash onto my roof. I destroyed my garage with a hockey stick. My friends treated me like a circus act. I was at rock bottom......but I survived. I made it.

Now, I find joy in all sorts of things - I climb mountains, I play a Strat (I suck), and I just exist. I'm just me, no more, no less.

You have dreams and aspirations as we all do. A sure path to living your dreams is going to school. A sure path to failure is to quit on school. And I think you'll agree with me on that one. I have no insight to your academic ability but I can tell by the way you write that you're not an idiot. Step 1 is finishing school. There is no denying it. There's no redeeming value in being a HS dropout making $10.00 an hour for eternity. None.

HS is easy apart from all of the nonsensical social challenges that someone like me didn't face in 1980. Let those challenges wash over you. Your job is to see it through. Or perhaps, more to your situation, get through it. There's a sense of pride we all gain when we do things that we don't necessarily want to do, yet we find success in making it happen. Do you think that I *want* to go to work, hanging around with 1,000 teenagers every day? With all due respect, I'd rather be fishing or climbing a mountain! A colleague of mine uses the following expression all the time. "We do what we need to do so we can do what we want to do". Sure, I enjoy teaching, but wouldn't we all rather be doing something else other than what we need to do? Right now, you need to finish school! You can make it happen.

Consider some other things that interest you. Back to my comment about you being a "kid".........you don't know quite yet what's out there for you. Don't try to solve it all today. Take it one step at a time and don't press. The change, the success, the growth, and the reward will all take time.

As people have prayed for me, I too shall pray for you. You can make this happen. And when it is done, you'll look in the mirror and say "I made it happen on my own".

[Amon]

People will encounter road blocks multiple times throughout their lives, and this happens to be one of them obviously. You could get out of high school sooner by just getting your GED instead, and then after that take some time off to think about what you want to do. Whether to tackle your Anxiety & make some improvement,and/or go to College. It is never too late,you want to become a Marine Biologist,then strive for it!

[alicetailor]

Row Jimmy has provided really useful advice. Really inspirational.

[sadstarkid]

Oh jeez, sorry for the late replies!! I forgot my password!! Thank you all so much for your advice and encouragement. I'm happy to report back that i've been moved from 6 classes to one class, and I'm currently making great strides in getting my GED !! Thank you all so much. My stress level is a lot lower and even though I know it will never go completely away, for the first time in a while I feel like things are going right for me.

[ken9018]

Originally Posted by sadstarkid

Oh jeez, sorry for the late replies!! I forgot my password!! Thank you all so much for your advice and encouragement. I'm happy to report back that i've been moved from 6 classes to one class, and I'm currently making great strides in getting my GED !! Thank you all so much. My stress level is a lot lower and even though I know it will never go completely away, for the first time in a while I feel like things are going right for me.

glad your doing better, I wasn't exactly in your shoes, but I did miss half of my 11th grade year due to anxiety, the only reason I graduated high school was by going to school online through my districts home and hospital program, and now I'm in college now doing pretty good, so you can achieve, may take some time but DON'T give up, good luck and take care!