My mind is restless about everything - what I choose to learn and how will making friends be. Academy is my last chance of making new friends, and each university has a different social setting. I feel so stressed.
I lack confidence in which university to take. There's one near my home and one far away. They're both great universities regarding academy quality, and the latter only consists of science and engineering professions.

The problem is, I have mixed feelings. I see the latter university as an opportunity to increase my independence. However I see the former's advantage of being near my parent's home and is close to my music college where I can also focus on my music.
Sometimes I feel it doesn't matter which university I sign in to, but there's also a part of me which tells "I have to get the hell away from home so I can finally grow on my own!". I can also get an apartment near the nearby university, but they're mostly expensive to rent so it requires digging.

I also have a dilemma about careers in general. Due to the emotional neglecting I've felt at home, I don't think having children will be the right choice for me. I don't want my children to suffer what I have suffered. So I sometimes think of pursuing a more spiritual way of life by being more light about a career and allowing myself to focus on spiritual hobbies such as music.

My therapist says my primary focus on treatment is not on my career, but rather on my entire life itself, regarding people, my being and my purpose. But I question how each university can have an effect on me.

As I am writing this I am mildly depressed in my room. I didn't sleep well at all. I wanted to go swimming, but since I have work I know I'll be tired after swimming even after a shower.

Thanks for helping me out. I feel so stuck and hopeless. I wonder whether leaving home will actually solve those feelings or not.

Perhaps ask yourself which institution is best setting you up for success.

[Sunflower123]

What about doing a pro and con analysis then pick one and see what your gut instinct says? Good luck.

Well, as usual, I have an opinion... :-/

I didn't get to go away to college, my husband did. All of my children went to college/university and all but one graduated. They all did both away and lived at home.

Living away at college/uni is the way to go imho. I don't know anyone who lived away who said "I wish I would have lived at home and commuted to school".

Good luck on whatever decision you make, and don't forget....it's not forever and you can change your mind whenever you like.

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

My mind is restless about everything - what I choose to learn and how will making friends be. Academy is my last chance of making new friends, and each university has a different social setting. I feel so stressed.
I lack confidence in which university to take. There's one near my home and one far away. They're both great universities regarding academy quality, and the latter only consists of science and engineering professions.

The problem is, I have mixed feelings. I see the latter university as an opportunity to increase my independence. However I see the former's advantage of being near my parent's home and is close to my music college where I can also focus on my music.
Sometimes I feel it doesn't matter which university I sign in to, but there's also a part of me which tells "I have to get the hell away from home so I can finally grow on my own!". I can also get an apartment near the nearby university, but they're mostly expensive to rent so it requires digging.

I also have a dilemma about careers in general. Due to the emotional neglecting I've felt at home, I don't think having children will be the right choice for me. I don't want my children to suffer what I have suffered. So I sometimes think of pursuing a more spiritual way of life by being more light about a career and allowing myself to focus on spiritual hobbies such as music.

My therapist says my primary focus on treatment is not on my career, but rather on my entire life itself, regarding people, my being and my purpose. But I question how each university can have an effect on me.

As I am writing this I am mildly depressed in my room. I didn't sleep well at all. I wanted to go swimming, but since I have work I know I'll be tired after swimming even after a shower.

Thanks for helping me out. I feel so stuck and hopeless. I wonder whether leaving home will actually solve those feelings or not.

I don't think leaving homes solves the problem but it can ensure you are the one in complete control of your life (my university was 5 hours from home). If I recall correctly, at times, during the first year I spent a lot of time establishing good habits concerning meals, exercise, studying, sleep schedule, etc. I felt unsettled/procrastinated to much during my first year but during the second year, I began to feel like I was gaining greater control of my life. I also suffered from mild depression and have always had periodic (at least once a week) sleeping problems. I learned that I could still do what I needed to do without much sleep (though we perform better with more). When things were going well, my depression lifted. Earning my degree created opportunities for me and gave me something to feel proud of---both of these things helped enormously with depression!

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

I don't think leaving homes solves the problem but it can ensure you are the one in complete control of your life (my university was 5 hours from home). If I recall correctly, at times, during the first year I spent a lot of time establishing good habits concerning meals, exercise, studying, sleep schedule, etc. I felt unsettled/procrastinated to much during my first year but during the second year, I began to feel like I was gaining greater control of my life. I also suffered from mild depression and have always had periodic (at least once a week) sleeping problems. I learned that I could still do what I needed to do without much sleep (though we perform better with more). When things were going well, my depression lifted. Earning my degree created opportunities for me and gave me something to feel proud of---both of these things helped enormously with depression!

And where did you study? Did you study while still living in your parents' house? Far away? And what were your reasons for leaving if you studied away? Did it help?

The pros and cons are:
Nearby: Has mandatory courses from an arts branch (psychology, literature, history, etc...) and you can choose the majors to pick from. It can expand my mind beyond Math and Statistics for instance, get me a bit into the art way of life. It's also close to a settled villa - my parents' house. I can perhaps grow my art for drawing and hopefully some music, too. It's familiar. I can also used my saved money for other purposes if I still live at home, though currently I honestly have no plans of great usages other than renting an apartment.
The other disadvantage is, the major one, is my city is solitary. I may still be here, but I am worried academy time will pass and that I may not be able to fully grow as intended.
Far: A feeling of needing to go there for self-growth. Academically, I don't really care where I study. The far away university is better regarding professions. But I only got accepted for Math alone right now. I may be able to expand the major if my grades are really well.

So the primary concern is self-growth and breaking of boundaries.

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

And where did you study? Did you study while still living in your parents' house? Far away? And what were your reasons for leaving if you studied away? Did it help?

The pros and cons are:
Nearby: Has mandatory courses from an arts branch (psychology, literature, history, etc...) and you can choose the majors to pick from. It can expand my mind beyond Math and Statistics for instance, get me a bit into the art way of life. It's also close to a settled villa - my parents' house. I can perhaps grow my art for drawing and hopefully some music, too. It's familiar. I can also used my saved money for other purposes if I still live at home, though currently I honestly have no plans of great usages other than renting an apartment.
The other disadvantage is, the major one, is my city is solitary. I may still be here, but I am worried academy time will pass and that I may not be able to fully grow as intended.
Far: A feeling of needing to go there for self-growth. Academically, I don't really care where I study. The far away university is better regarding professions. But I only got accepted for Math alone right now. I may be able to expand the major if my grades are really well.

So the primary concern is self-growth and breaking of boundaries.

It was a typical major state university. At the time, my parents lived in a very rural area--nearest post high school education available at the time was a minimum of 1 hour 45 minute drive away (through roads that could be impossible to drive occassionally when there was a winter storm). So I did not have the choice of living nearby but I wanted to leave. When I think of high school, living at home keeps you on your parent's schedule (meals, we were expected to go to bed, etc.). By living on your own, you slowly figure out what works for you. I learned that when I had to get work done, it was better for me to go to bed right when I got tired and set the alarm to get up and do the work at 3:00 AM. Throughout college and worklife, I do my thinking work between 3-9 AM and save the routine stuff for 9-5. I am a morning person....

[MickeyCheeky]

Just know that I have the same struggles.. and I'm with you. Wish you good luck: you deserve it.

[Teddy Bear]

I lived at home and went to tech school. I didn't regret staying at home.

I went to the far away university to see how it is. Most buildings were closed since classes no longer take place until October, so I got to experience the feeling of wandering around and it was extremely refreshing.
Tomorrow is the final day where I can decide where to study and it's stressing me.
I'd go to the far away one if I could, but right now I can only major in Math. As for the nearby university, I got accepted to both Math and Statistics.
I don't think I can accept studying there, since when I just started to at this moment, I started getting bad gut feelings.

The far away university has tough requirements for majors, so adding another major such as Computer Science where I have to rely on good grades is risky. And there are hardly any jobs to be taken with solely Math

I don't know what you decided to do or if you're still on the fence about it.

I will tell you that (from experience), I graduated high school and then felt as if the opportunity to "grow up" was somehow taken away from me because I was still living under my parent's roof and their roof, their rules...

Also...I was told by my parents that I wasn't capable of achieving my goal. I wasn't good enough. That killed my self-esteem. I'm not saying that they wouldn't have done that anyway, but if I was living away, I would have had a DIFFERENT support system.

Have you considered getting your required subjects out of the way at a community (WAY less expensive) college and then spending the last 2 years away?

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

I don't know what you decided to do or if you're still on the fence about it.

I will tell you that (from experience), I graduated high school and then felt as if the opportunity to "grow up" was somehow taken away from me because I was still living under my parent's roof and their roof, their rules...

Also...I was told by my parents that I wasn't capable of achieving my goal. I wasn't good enough. That killed my self-esteem. I'm not saying that they wouldn't have done that anyway, but if I was living away, I would have had a DIFFERENT support system.

Have you considered getting your required subjects out of the way at a community (WAY less expensive) college and then spending the last 2 years away?

Universities are cheaper in our country, and are generally considered of higher quality, particularly the one near my home.
Moreover, the one near my home is known to excel in Math (the field I love), and is in general of high quality. Apartments however are a disadvantage since the university is located in the most expensive-to-live place, unless I can fish for some exceptions. I also need to fish for partners to live with.