[nushi]

Hey everybody

I'd like to seek your advice, fellow PCForumers about a critical decision I have to take these days...

I'm currently working in research at a center, while also searching for PhD scholarships abroad (outside of Egypt!), & developing a PhD research plan to improve my chances at getting one.

All people, except for one, are telling me I should apply next year for PhD here in Egypt, while searching for scholarships abroad, so as not to waste another year searching for scholarships, which I may or may not find! But I'm afraid to do this because this would mean that next year I will have a huge load of doing 4 things: study the PhD preparatory courses here;search for PhD scholarships abroad; work in the center, & develop a PhD research plan!

I'm afraid that pressure from all this, could cause me to suffer a psychological breakdown (I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Depression, & Perfectionism, that make me so slow in accomplishing things & very poor in managing stress & time!).

Especially that I have a bad experience in this... while studying my one-year Master's preparatory courses before, while also working in another center (though my work was less intensive), I suffered a psychological breakdown from the pressure of studying, & had to postpone taking the 2nd term courses to next year!

Despite my problems, I'm very ambitious. I want to get done with PhD quickly so I can focus on doing independent research later. I'm so determined on getting a scholarship abroad, because I want to run away from this place & have some radical change in my life. But I also don't want to lag behind... I don't know what to do


So do you think I should register for PhD here next year? Or should I give myself another year focusing only on finding a scholarship & developing a research plan, & if I don't find one by next year, I can register here the year after? Or should I just get on with it next year while doing the other tasks too?

[Talthybius]

Wouldn't it be better to leave Egypt? And never return? Especially if you are doing political research?

Finishing a PhD quickly so you can do independent research, that sounds kind of odd. You sould do a PhD for it's own sake. And I don't think there is such a thing as 'independent research'

[scorpiosis37]

I have a PhD and I don't know what you mean by scholarships abroad. Do you mean PhD programs that offer a stipend? All reputable PhD programs in the US, UK, EU, etc offer fully funded PhD programs if you are accepted to them. I don't understand what would take so much time in researching them. It is pretty straight forward. In each field, there a group of PhD programs that are known to be top-tier, middle tier, and lower tier. Most people apply to a wide range and then see where they get in and how much funding each program offers. AFTER you are accepted and enroll, then you can also apply for fellowships and grants. But no one will give you those until after you are already in a program. Applying beforehand wouldn't make sense. So I'm really not sure which scholarships you're taking about that you are researching.

I know you want a PhD very badly, which is noble, but it is a LOT of work. It's not just a little harder or a little longer than a master's degree. It's like 20 times as stressful, 20 times as difficult, and you have NO time for yourself. Over half who start the PhD drop out, not because they aren't capable, but because the stress is just too much. If you already have mental health issues, I would recommend treating those before you begin the PhD. Unfortunately, most of the students in my PhD program who had anxiety and mental health issues had severe episodes while in the program, which led to either taking time off or dropping out. PHD programs are notoriously bad for handling student mental health concerns; they just don't seem to care and just want you to "get over it or get it." It should not be that way... but in many programs it is.

I also don't understand what you mean by independent researcher. That doesn't really exist unless you are independently wealthy. Research is so expensive that if must be funded by either Universities or corporations, so you work as a researcher for them. As a professor, you can propose your own research program, but it has to be appealing enough to land you tenure, attract funding, etc. and that is IF you can get one of the most competitive jobs in the world. Most can't. Most with a top-tier PhD and excellent publication record will end up working as a researcher for a corporation, testing what the corporation tells you to test. That is just the reality. I strongly advise you to talk to recent PhD graduates in your field to get a realistic understanding of the career trajectory before you begin.

[JustJenny]

scorpiosis37, if I got tis right, nushi is talking about external grants. If one gets such a grant, one is more flexible about where to do his/her PhD, because salary is not an issue anymore. I have applied for one of these before I started my PhD and I did not get it.

There is also a difference between doing PhD in the US and in Europe. I did mine in Europe and all I had to do is ask the PI's whether they would take me in. You can pretty much start doing your PhD any time of the year, the start is not fixed to one season. In the US, however, most of the time it is an official application process that goes through the institution. I work at a University and I know a lot of people who were applying in the US. Also, as far as I understand, just sending in an application costs around $100.

nushi, regarding your question. Where do you see yourself in the future? Back in Egypt or somewhere else?

I worked a lot during my Master education and I was fine (not much personal life though), but doing PhD really put a test on my sanity. It's the whole reason I am on this forum.

[nushi]

Thank you everyone for your advice...

Well yes, perhaps I misused the words. I meant that I'm searching for PhD programs abroad or institutions & organizations that offer fully-funded studying fees + stipends.

I realize that PhD is hard, & with my mental issues it'd be hard, but that wouldn't move me away from my determination on reaching my purpose. My career, also, requires me to have PhD, so this mandatory, not luxury, for me.

The center where I work have many coworkers who finished, or otherwise are still doing, graduate studies. But most of them just go the easy way & complete their studies here in Egypt. I'm determined to travel & study in a different environment, even if it's so much harder, I'll take the chance, so I wouldn't regret later taking the easier common path!

I don't want to live in Egypt, & I'm not a person who prefers stability in any one place anyway. I love change. So after finishing my PhD somewhere else, I'll go wherever my journey can take me until it's over for me. I'll "try" as much as possible to do free independent research, even if I have to do it "beside" my what I'm obliged to do. That's how I did it in my Master's, & that's how I intend to keep my research...

I also can't wait until I heal from my psychological problems. I'll keep trying to heal (as I've been doing for the past 17 years or so!), but I won't stop my life, waiting for myself to be cured or get better. What if I can never get better?!! Going on with my life is an integral part of my seeking to heal...