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Hi. I'm sorry that I'm posting so much lately, but I've been so stressed and anxious lately. Basically what I'm gonna talk about.
I can tell that I just can't handle it all. I'm a freshman. I'm skipping classes, just completely not caring at all. You can tell that I'm just one of those people who went to college as an "only option". I was only excited about it because it meant going away from the toxic thing I called home. Some people miss their family, but I've never been happier to get away. However, I'm also wasting money, as I don't want to be here.
I've been feeling numb, drained, fatigued, and physically in pain (constant headache). Literally my workload isn't much at all. 1 to 2 classes, 4 days a week. But I'm still dying and want to cry.
I'd have no where to go. I don't like "home", and I don't have money. I won't even get a job because I'm aware of my tendency to walk away when things get overwhelming. This is, all in all, my only option. I hate myself, and living in general.

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Is there a school counselor or therapist that is available for you to see?

Same as above, your academic institution will have guidance counsellors and psychologists available. Believe me, you aren't the only student in this boat.

I admit, I am one of those individuals who went to university for no other purpose than to get away from home (my case dysfunctional and emotionally abusive). I was 17 and saw at the time no other option. I was there for all the wrong reasons and consequently wasted a lot of time and squandered a lot of money.

What would I have done differently? I would have taken a few years to do some self discovery and try to figure out what I wanted. I have thought about two directions I ought to have instead taken. I honestly think that getting a trade would have been the thing to have done. So too, I regret having not made strides early on to explore making art.