Why does this quarter have to be challenging?

I am in a multicultural counseling class. And boy is it challenging. I keep going but in the back of my mind I wonder, what will keep me from my dreams? I have had multiple hospitizations.one to many. One I had last quarter and managed an A!!
Now it's a new term and new challenges. I have had to confront my own racism that I didn't know existed. It's weird, I do feel that privileged. But I am white, and I guess there are.
I was bullied as a child and I think that has something to do with why I don't feel privileged.

I am facing a lot of information and it took 3 days to understand a paper that I had to write. And now more information this weekend. I still need to prove read my papers. But I am playing at the coast for fun.

Thanks for reading.

Another hard day, I am trying to get motivated but it's so hot outside and inside. I know I am using that as an excuse, I am dreading the topic for this week. I have to confront my own whiteness. I want to believe that race has little impact, but that isn't the case and it's really tough to read. In fact I took an antianxiety med to see if that will help me study. Otherwise, I don't know what to do. My heart just isn't in this, could it be a depressive episode coming on or just the results from my addiction rearing it's ugly head.

I am a little confused...you feel your race is becoming an issue? you are becoming harassed? or are you harassing others? it is confusing when you read the post.

you said there was bullying as a child but you don't feel priveledged..so you expect to feel privilege because you are white?

again the work level was high, but then you post you are out at the beach..i guess you have to pick and choose what is important...work or going to the beach....at times you have to make the decision as to what is important..and in this decision I would say that school work would be the winner. with the end of the school year approaching you have to do the work...racism, or beach play aside.

This is a difficult and emotional subject---it is human to want to put aside painful truths. When there are other personal issues you are dealing with it can feel overwhelming but you are doing it.
I grew up in a white, racist neighborhood and hated it but finding it inside hurts.
I know my son would be in jail right now if he'd been a young black man when he got busted....(I have worked in the justice system and seen who gets put away and who walks)...Remember that you are not the only person uncomfortable in your class. Everyone likely is on edge with this topic. & congrats for the A while in distress. (I had severe problems when I was in school and was surprised when I read that I graduated with honors, I was so busy managing myself I didn't realize how much information I was actually picking up and using---now I am retired after near 40yrs....yikes.
Hang in there.

My race has never been an issue. I have been harrassed and bullied as a kid. I have to confront what I think, in regards to race.

As a result of the bullying, I have never felt privileged. But now I see that there are some times when I do have those privileges.

The beach was after my work was done. To take a mini, day trip. I came back and had more clarity.

I got that troublesome paper done and in before it was due, by 10 hours. But now it's a quiz and I have been using porn more today, and wasting time. This isn't good for the quarter. It's week 4 and I want to be done.