[thekingof8]

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.

I just spoke with my Second Career Counsellor. Because of wanting to restart the semester for a second time and that I'm too far behind to catch, I'm essentially being kicked out of the program. She said I can reapply at a later time, but I don't think I will after this. As far as I'm concerned, it's over.
I am completely heartbroken. I did everything I could and it didn't work out. Again. This is sincere, that I felt this was going to happen. I don't even know why I try. I have pretty much exhausted all avenues and done everything I can possibly do. As of now, I'm just waving the white towel and throwing my hands up and giving up. We are both wasting too much time and energy on something that clearly isn't going to work. I don't want to give up, but I can't think of anything else. I have literally tried everything and it has blown up in my face. The job at the hospital, OSEB, every kitchen job, nothing has work. It's not easy to say this, but I failed.

It's been nothing but bad luck. I feel like I was born to lose. It sounds harsh, and it is. It just isn't fair. I tried so hard and I got nothing to show for it. I officially give up.

[Yaowen]

Hi Thekingof8,

My English is not very good but I hope something will change so that you will regain your hope and motivation, although I think that your feelings and thoughts in this matter, given your experiences is completely understandable.

I would not want to trespass on the absolute uniqueness of your experiences, but I have come back from total defeat more than once in my life. I think it is possible for you to come back from the disappointments you have suffered.

Most of the people who I respect and admire the most have suffered terrible falls and misfortunes. For some it did not come until later in life. I hope you will not write yourself off.

I would also like to say that your post helps me and will help many others who are struggling with anguish and grief over their own misfortunes and falls. That is a gift and not just a healing gift. I think it is a life giving hint. Many people have told me that posts like the one you made today have helped to save their lives when they were on the very edge.

Do you know the old saying: "Whoever helps to save a single life has saved the entire world." I think you are a million times more that what has befallen you.

I wish I knew what to say that would be helpful to you, but unfortunately I lack such insight and wisdom and probably could not express myself well in English.

All good things to you!

[bpforever1]

It is not over til it is really over. I have had setbacks due to my illness and thought I was a failure. However, I recover each time and realize this has to be the last time I stop taking my medication. You are not a failure and must do things to boost your spirit! First, do tasks that you can do and succeed at doing, what ever these are. Second, take steps to do something a bit harder and succeed at doing these too. Finally, take on tasks or jobs that you wanted to do and try as hard as you can to succeed. In other words, take baby steps in making it happen. If you give up, then all is lost. I remind myself that I must learn from my mistakes and persevere no matter the situation. I believe, you need to develop skills to do jobs or tasks you want. To do this, you must do other smaller jobs and tasks and hone these skills. Whether it is school or a job, I would not take on too much initially. Just take on as much as you can handle or less, then succeed and build your confidence. Success does build confidence. Thus, please try succeeding by doing what is possible to tackle the impossible.

[thekingof8]

It's just one thing after another. I just have this dark cloud hanging over me. Just when I think things are going well, lightning strikes and ruins the whole thing. I can't think positive anymore. And there is lots of evidence of my past failures. Some people are meant to succeed, some aren't. Some people are born to win, some people are born to lose. Not everyone is equal. Some get dealt a crummy hand right off the bat. No amount of kudos for waking up and taking a shower is going to help. Yes, I have gotten up from each setback, but it gets worse over time. This time, I'm staying down. I won't get hurt that way.

[bpforever1]

If you ask me, you sound depressed. I hope your situation improves. I understand how you feel. Please give yourself time to think about your situation carefully. You never know what may happen next. I say, be patient and hang in there.

[thekingof8]

I have no ambition right now. Things usually happen threes. First, the roommate, then school. Seeing the direction I'm goin, I'll probably lose my job next. I have no patience anymore and I'm tired of hanging in. My life is likely 2/3 or 3/5 over. Winning a jackpot of some kind would be the only thing that could make up for all of this.

[Gasplessy]

I agree a lot with what @Yaowen wrote

Please try to be kind to yourself

[puzzclar]

It's only over if you say it's over.

I had trouble with my undergraduate degree. I was suspended twice for having anxiety. It was a private school, that didn't understand. I could have made excuses, or said it was over. And I did try to say it was over. I have been hospitalized because I wanted to give up. And that all happened since high school. I have two degrees, and am working on a third.

There comes a point when when you or I have to say, "What's more important, what do I want from this, what can I learn?" After being suspended, I was told I should give up, but that didn't feel right. I had waved the white flag. I moved home, and looked for new opportunities. That was the best move. I thought of going into music but instead I am going into counseling.

Why am I telling you this? If you give up, what will the world miss out on? Will you be the next Nelson Mandela, or enter name here?

The suspensions got me to think, what can I do to fix what people see?

The answer didn't come over night.

I was hard on myself, and spent a lot of time asking for help/being forced. Was it worth the time to be hard on myself? No. There are better ways, or so I'm told.

If one way doesn't work out, then find your way through the challenges. Look for a new angle. You may be surprised at what you find.

[Fury]

This happened to me. I compared my transcripts of completed classes to similar degrees at different colleges, found one that worked for me, and finished my degree online a year later.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things have room to come together. Don't give up, take a semester off and research other options. When you find something elsewhere, transfer your obtained credits and keep going.

[CTFarmboy]

Sometimes doing everything you can think of is not enough. I'm going to go out on a stretch here and say you probably don't have a great deal of friends. Right? I say that because you seem to be really down on yourself and I can see you quite easily distancing yourself from others due to low self esteem. Some of the most successful people in life got there by channeling strengths of their friends and getting good advice as well. When I was in my late twenties I joined the Marine Corps officer candidate program and attended training in Quantico, VA. Brother, they beat me to a pulp on a daily basis. You never got to succeed at anything and you begin to think "failure" was you're middle name! One day, while on a 12 mile run, I stopped at about the 2/3's point and started to rub my shins to alleviate the aching pain. I had shin splints something fierce! One of the Drill Instructor's stopped to see why I had stopped said, "What;s wrong with you dummy?" I said, "Sir: My legs hurt really bad - Is there something I can do for them?" He replied, Yeah stupid... You can quit!" Well, he might as well lit a fire under me because I was not going home bald and a failure too. I right then and there decided there was nothing they could do to me that would make me quit; ever! Quitting is easy. Following your dreams builds character my friend.

A quote from Master Gunnery Sargent Bearup (A-1 Class of 82')- "In life there are Pretender's and Contender's - Which are you?"

[thekingof8]

Originally Posted by CTFarmboy

Sometimes doing everything you can think of is not enough. I'm going to go out on a stretch here and say you probably don't have a great deal of friends. Right? I say that because you seem to be really down on yourself and I can see you quite easily distancing yourself from others due to low self esteem.

Yes. I was always a bit of a loner in my school days. It wasn't until a year or so into my first job that I came out of my shell a bit. I never really learned to love myself or to accept myself either. I always have to be told I did well, because I'm not sure sometimes.

Some of the most successful people in life got there by channeling strengths of their friends and getting good advice as well.

When I was a child, I always wanted to be a writer. I would try telling my parents, but their response would be along the lines of to find something a bit more realistic. Add to that, in the 4th grade they enrolled me in some Godforsaken Karate course. The teacher was a complete prick who would beat me and others down whenever they got the chance. This isn't the army. These are children. My parents said they weren't aware, but they were there watching most of the time. If I was an adult and he spoke to me like that, I would've just told him to eff off and walk out.

I trust nobody right now. Everybody is on probation. It's this fear of failing that keeps holding me back. The bigger I fail or the bigger the heart-break, the harder it is for me to try again.

[WastingAsparagus]

Originally Posted by thekingof8

Yes. I was always a bit of a loner in my school days. It wasn't until a year or so into my first job that I came out of my shell a bit. I never really learned to love myself or to accept myself either. I always have to be told I did well, because I'm not sure sometimes.


When I was a child, I always wanted to be a writer. I would try telling my parents, but their response would be along the lines of to find something a bit more realistic. Add to that, in the 4th grade they enrolled me in some Godforsaken Karate course. The teacher was a complete prick who would beat me and others down whenever they got the chance. This isn't the army. These are children. My parents said they weren't aware, but they were there watching most of the time. If I was an adult and he spoke to me like that, I would've just told him to eff off and walk out.

I trust nobody right now. Everybody is on probation. It's this fear of failing that keeps holding me back. The bigger I fail or the bigger the heart-break, the harder it is for me to try again.

Being a writer is cool! Sorry you're struggling, sending positivity your way.