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#1
Apr 29, 2009, 07:29 PM
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I should be excited. But I feel even more down. It's like I've been going one hundred miles an hour to screech to an abrupt stop... really more like crashing to an immediate halt. Signing marriage papers in two days. All I want to do is cry...
what's wrong with me? |
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#2
Apr 30, 2009, 08:56 PM
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There's nothing wrong with you!
I am also graduating in about two weeks, and I totally feel the same way. I should feel excited about my accomplishment, but I feel sad because it's over, my life is going to change now, and going to school is the only thing I'm familiar with. I'm soooo worried about what's going to happen after I graduate that I can't seem to get happy about it. I think it's a totally normal feeling, to be sad. Just don't forget that it is a huge accomplishment! And you must have done so well to make it through. 
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 beutifulxdreamr
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#3
May 01, 2009, 08:07 AM
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Sounds to me like you're both overwhelmed with not only sensory input but with the "expectation" of feeling wonderful! You feel you're supposed to not feel the way you do, which, imo compounds the angst.
Make a list (or whatever you do that works for you) and choose only those things you absolutely MUST do these next days. Try and live the moments... not push to get to them and through them. These events are overwhelming and we tend to put too much onto our own selves at these times, and it's really being unrealistic to do so. Delegate whatever you can, ask others to take on some of your projects, and don't volunteer to do more than you're doing. Find the good moments and those are the ones you'll recall afterwards. Otherwise, you might go through it so fast you have no good memories!  These can be wonderful times!
__________________
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| beutifulxdreamr, sunflower55
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#4
May 01, 2009, 02:56 PM
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Agreeing with Sky here.
 I *want* to graduate, but I *don't* want to graduate at the same time... Me? I hate change. You can complain about school forever, but when it's done, or something changes - then you've got to deal with it emotionally, and sometimes it's easier being "blah" then happy. When I think about my upcoming graduation, all I really want is the stupid piece of expensive paper that tells me I'm smart enough and good enough to succeed and get through in one piece. That's an accomplishment all in itself. Otherwise graduating scares the heebeejeebies out of me! And since I dont know what I want to do in the "real world" I'm coming back to school for ANOTHER degree. Plan something to celebrate if you want to, otherwise just relax and do something you enjoy. Just breathe. The emotional side of things always seems to take a few days to catch up sometimes. Not sure what you want to do now? Not sure how to deal with a lack of academic responsibilities? Not sure why being stressed out sometimes is more comfortable than NOTHING to do? Sometimes we also define ourselves by what we do. That always feels like pulling the rug from underneath you when things change. I'm likely just rambling now - but congrats on your upcoming graduation. You do deserve it. 
__________________
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| beutifulxdreamr
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#5
May 05, 2009, 06:52 PM
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I am so in agreement with those of you who are graduating now. I graduate on Friday. All my work will come to an absolute halt. All I inow is being in school. It's my security. The idea of absolutely nothing to do is terrifying to me. Empty time ahead. It's why I turned around right after getting my BA two years ago and went for my MA. I'm applying for another MA course because I can't deal with the outside world.
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| beutifulxdreamr
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#6
May 11, 2009, 10:50 AM
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Thank you every one for all of your replies. I knew others felt the way I do in my graduating class (nursing students), but it is nice to know that it's a common feeling to feel (for any one) at graduation. I'm trying to enjoy my time off and take things slow. I made it through both the wedding and the graduation. I'm thinking of taking a year off of school - for multiple reasons. I've been accepted into my school's BSN program (I only have my ASN, which is enough to become an RN). Mom has terminal cancer, trying to ease my way into married life, can't afford out of state tuition on my own, slghtly burned out from two years of nursing school etc. etc. I never slow myself down enough to think of myself (it's how I deal with things... I guess by replacing other smaller mundane problems and tasks with the bigger things I don't want to think about)... but maybe it's time. After my rough high school years I always told myself that I would get a professional massage after graduation - here I am four years later and still no massage... even when I have had them offered to me. My mother-in-law is wanting to have a girls night with me, so she is taking me to a spa. She prefers facials, so that is what I am doing. I think it will be nice to evaluate things like this over the next year without thinking about school.
Rambling... Graduation gives all of us so much to think about. It's been four years since we've had to think about starting over - just when we got into the swing of things it seems, too. The real world is a big and scary place, but maybe we don't give our college experience enough credit... maybe we don't know it yet, but it really does seem like a helpful stepping stone into the real world. Maybe it really has prepared us for what comes afterwards? Good luck every one!!!! Sky had some good advice (that helped me a lot). Take it slow and delegate. You guys are amazing! |
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#7
May 11, 2009, 01:04 PM
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I felt exactly the same way you did. must be all the pressure. And the belief that THATS IT.
Doesnt it look like ALL LIFE was college...we forgot how it is to just breath.... Be happy that you will not have to do more exams, projects, etc. I was supposed to graduate, too *may trigger* (?) But i had a break...or whatever you will call it - was SO panicked and ****ed up ...that the last time i tried to work on the final project i really lost control over myself and started breathing fast, byting my arm, stepping away, forcing myself to keep working and in the end threw myself on my closet, on the bed, kicked and threw everything cried and called T. not out of rage..out of terror. needed to ESCAPE So as a surredered acion rather than contemplating it again and desperately trying for it - when there is NO time left - i told them i will do this project next year. I know i did my best. ***** You see be happy that you ARE graduting! there are people who were just about to MAKE it and in the end FELL and fell HARD... huggs |
| beutifulxdreamr
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#8
May 11, 2009, 05:59 PM
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Quote:
It's true that perspective is everything. I know a lot of people (half the class to be exact) in the nursing program did not graduate. I myself was almost one of them. It is definitely good to be graduating - which is why I was so confused at my feelings. It all makes a little bit more sense now. I'm sorry things got so chaotic at the end of the year for you. Maybe now you know what to expect? I know you can do it  I'll be rooting for you. Keep us updated as the year goes <33333~BxD |
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