[Distressed2010]

I've changed careers many times. But I always wanted to be a performer, as in an actor... Now I'm actually pursueing my dreams after getting done with academics, got my bachelors and masters.. not in acting though.

But I always have this fear that stops me from moving forward... When the time comes to start pursueing something, I feel like I'll work super hard and it'll all go down the drain. Most of the time i'm weighing whether its worth to do it or not.

For example,

I need to lose weight. I constantly fear that I'll go for jogs, and eat right etc... and then I might lose weight, but then I'll gain it back, so then whats the point??

What is this? Is it a fear of success or failure?

I also feel that IF i do become a known actor, something I do or something will happen that will pull me down.. so then what do i do next?

Am I too obsessed with the future?

Idk why I'm just not able to give it my all to anything. I'm scared all the time.

Same with relationships. I feel like I'll put myself out there, and then something will happen, the person will hurt me, and then i'll be left there to pick up scraps.

[now.or.never]

I totally feel with you. As a matter of fact, I was thinking about that today, whether it's a fear of success or that of failure. Well of course, who wouldn't want to be successful? And the secret to success is maintaining at being successful, this is the difficult part So I cocluded, that it is because we are afraid to go forward with anything, we are actually confirming and making our fear of failure a tangible reality. Everyone has a fear of the unknown that is the future, so don't worry unless you start letting those thoughts of fear bring down your will to acheive...don't let that happen. Remember, your thoughts are transformed into actions, so keep them happy and positive.
As to my problem, that is similar to yours, I think the reason, though I prefer not blaming people on my own problems, is my father. He always put me down and made me indirectly feel that no matter what I do I will never be successful enough. So I don't know, maybe you had a family member that did the same to you as a child? If that, you should not let it affect you. You know you can do anything you want and you know deep down that not giving it your all will make you regretful later. Regret is not an easy feeling. So, what's there to lose? Think about it.
As to pursueing your dream as a preformer I highly recommend it, for dreams are always worth followed and acheived.
Good luck

[reader1587]

Originally Posted by Distressed2010

I've changed careers many times. But I always wanted to be a performer, as in an actor... Now I'm actually pursueing my dreams after getting done with academics, got my bachelors and masters.. not in acting though.

But I always have this fear that stops me from moving forward... When the time comes to start pursueing something, I feel like I'll work super hard and it'll all go down the drain. Most of the time i'm weighing whether its worth to do it or not.

For example,

I need to lose weight. I constantly fear that I'll go for jogs, and eat right etc... and then I might lose weight, but then I'll gain it back, so then whats the point??

What is this? Is it a fear of success or failure?

I also feel that IF i do become a known actor, something I do or something will happen that will pull me down.. so then what do i do next?

Am I too obsessed with the future?

Idk why I'm just not able to give it my all to anything. I'm scared all the time.

Same with relationships. I feel like I'll put myself out there, and then something will happen, the person will hurt me, and then i'll be left there to pick up scraps.

Hi it sounds you also suffer from what could be labeled as symptoms of OCD (especially the 'O' part) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder).

I say this in part because I would describe myself in somewhat similar terms (insofar as we choose to use mainstream diagnostic labels to describe ourselves).

Maybe you could find a center which specializes in treating anxiety disorders? It might really help…

[Perna]

Sounds like fear of the future to me; you get a picture in your imagination going and then can't live up to that, still in your imagination, so "give up" all without doing much on the actual desire?

If you want to act, whether or not you become a "famous" actor isn't going to be in your control. I think you know that, know you can't control the future either and what may/may not happen. We only have "now". But you can't act in the future unless you work on it now and there's plenty of preliminary work that has to be done now before it is even possible to have that future goal! You don't have to be famous right this minute, you just have to take a single acting class or go to a single audition (don't even have to be hired for "that" particular show, either; it's like jobs, you may have to go on lots of interviews before you find one that fits you).

Make the list of shorter term activities that have to be done before you can become rich and famous and get them done before you worry about being rich and famous?

This book might help: http://wishcraft.com/

[Cowgirlsdontcry]

I have this same issue. I'm would almost say fear of failure. At least that's how i've thought of it. It seems to me that I would put a lot of work into something and then either fail at it later or even right away. This stays on my mind while I do things as well and try to move forward in my life. It's part of my reason for going back to school even though I just finished a degree. I try to push through it and make myself keep going because I know once I get there things won't be as bad as I thought they were going to be.

[tabnov70]

I think if being an actor or losing weight is what you feel will make you happy you should work to achieve them. Are you more afraid of failing than you would be regretting not attempting these things?

You should be proud of your educational achievements - you obviously have what it takes to have a goal and achieve it....

I have avoidant personality disorder, and I totally understand teh fears and anxieties you feel. It is difficult to move on if you keep rehashing all of the fears that sound like valid reasons not to do it. I am facing my avoidance right now and it is scary to take the first step with all of teh "what-ifs" going through you head. Try to ask yourself "What if I follow a few baby steps first to get a comfortable introduction to acting?" Another question could be "what if I like it?"

My counsellor told me that the only way to face the fear is to do it.....in small steps.Each time we face it a little bit and feel comfortable, we can take a nother baby step toward beating that fear. I am in teh same boat with career and men. Total fear of rejection so I take a job that I have done many times before in low income because that is what I did well in. But, due to my fear of failure, I keep doing the same job over and over with no advancement or challenges to prove myself. I am terrified I will screw up. By keeping myself controlled by my fear, I have not moved forward in 30 years. With men, I don't date at all and use excuses like work and famil to avoid dating. I am very lonely but afraid to trust men again.

We ahve to take baby steps. I am in the process of wanting to try taking the first step but it is very scarry so I know where you are coming from. We have to be a bit of a bully on ourselves sometiems and push ourselves into just little steps. I ahve been impulsive in the past and jumped into something without proper preparation and I drowned myself in mistakes and failures. Baby steps, hun. You can do it.