[DeMing]

I was reflecting on the concept of goals and I realised that it is our culture to constantly set goals. We set exercise goals, diet goals, relationship goals, work goals... Upon further reflection, I realised that most of the targets I set are based on arbitrary numbers.

We think: I feel I should make... hmm... how much more should I make in a year.. maybe an extra 2k per month? Yes. That's it! My goal is to make 2k a month more by end of next year

But is all of these goal settings coming in the way of our happiness? Is constant striving stopping us from feeling content? Are there any research on this topic?

[Perna]

It sounds like you are setting goals based on what you think you should want rather than what you really want? I do not set exercise goals, for example, because I do not enjoy exercising and have various age and medical problems that make it not practical. I was in graduate school 4-5 years ago but realized that I did not work and had no real interest in practicing what I was studying in the "real" world so decided to look elsewhere for what to spend my money on.

What makes you happy? If working at your job and making X dollars a month does not make you happy, it does not make sense to make that a goal? Discovering one's self and what makes one truly happy and pursuing that seems the only really rational thing to do.

I used this book to help me: http://wishcraft.com/

[splitimage]

I don't think goals per se make us unhappy - I think having unrealistic goals or as Perna says goals not aligned with your values, based on what you think society says you should be doing, can make you unhappy.

Personally I find goals very motivating - I like having something to work towards. But to me a Goal must be

Specific
Measureable
Attainable
Realistic
have a Time frame.

I have goals around how well I want to do in school. I have goals around therapy. I have goals for my knitting. I have goals for my music. I have a goal about finding another job.

These goals all motivate me, and making progress towards these goals, gives me a sense of accomplishment.

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