[Nicks_Nose]

People with depression tend to pursue generalized goals

I read this article and it brought back memories of my counselling sessions a couple of years ago. I am dealing with depression and, yes, I have the exact same struggle mentioned in this article. My counsellor kept telling me to be more specific in my goals. If I do not have the ability to see such a detailed goal or inspiration in my life, how am I to set the steps toward reaching it?!!!

This frustrates me so much about the "professionals" in this field. They keep telling me what I have to do without giving me the tools to do it with. If I cannot see a goal that I believe I am capable of reaching or do not know how to reach it, how do they expect me to be able to lay down the exact steps to get there? It is like telling a hungry village that they need to grow food for their people. and giving them equipment without any knowledge of how to use them.

What do I want to do in five years? I have no clue. So, how can I plan or set a goal if I have no clue what I wish to do?I have no idea what my abilities are, what resources I have to use, or how to use whatever I do have to make something. How am I to set goals? Is there anybody who can teach us to find a dream or passion first before we set goals to reach it?

[H3rmit]

I have difficulty choosing a broad goal that would be meaningful to me, but when you said "more specific" I thought of this great link HamsterBamster posted, so I'm going to pass it on:

SMART criteria - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Perna]

I like this book's chapter http://wishcraft.com/wishcraft_ch1.pdf for better explaining where to start.

Sometimes it can help to start at the "other" end of goal setting, get very specific as to what you would like to do today? Having and working a daily to-do list for awhile can point the way to longer term interests and desires. Maybe you wish you took better self care of yourself; well you have a to-do list filled with little self-care tasks like getting up and going to bed at a set time, bathing, fixing nutritious meals, etc.

There's a obvious difference between "exercise more" and "take a 10 minute walk on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday". If you know your goals are in the "be happy", "lose weight", "exercise more", "make friends" general categories, just keep looking at what you mean by "be happy", what would that look like to you? You can't get there if it has no meaning to you personally. Take a vague goal and make other vague goals related to it under it :-) and then goals under one of those, etc. and eventually you will be specific.

"Be happier" might include; find a hobby, get a job, make more money, have more or better friends, etc. under it.
"Find a hobby" might include; read more, join a group, take a class, start a blog, and other ideas under it
"Read more" might mean; inspiring biographies, good fantasy/sci fi, history, science, go to the library, subscribe to a magazine, subscribe to a blog or news feed, etc.

It is not necessarily the goals that matter but the doing definitely does. I don't think the biggest problem with being depressed is that goals are not specific but that not much action takes place. Some people like to get on a train that goes from Point A to Point D and they work on B and C as they go along. But other people like to go for a walk downtown and just see what they can see, meet who they meet, learn what they learn, experience what they experience. It does not matter which one prefers but one does have to get on the train or start out on the walk.

[Nicks_Nose]

Thanks, Perna. It is surprising what little I realized about my "patterns." I know this much...I read a lot about political violence and how societies justify it. I long for social justice. I loved the outdoors and did a lot of camping and hiking in my youth. I am very curious about other places and cultures. I like many genres of music, and enjoy solitude to contemplate. As for actual hobbies, I can't afford any materials to practice any except the occasional book to read. Life doesn't seem to be attainable without money and I don't have it. If there were any immediate goal, it would be to sell off or donate many of my things to downsize for future room boarding instead of full unit renting.

[Perna]

I don't know your interests/background in school but you reminded me I have a degree in sociology. I would take your interests and look at scholarships, work/studies (the travel :-) Have you ever read Louis L'Amour's autobiography http://www.louislamour.com/nonfiction/index.html Education of a Wandering Man? It's old enough your library probably has it. He had no education, was a teen, and just left home and had at it It's one of my favorite/more inspirational autobiographies.

You clearly enjoy reading certain subjects and would like to read more; so, a goal would be to come up with ways to get to read/study more :-) Do an analysis of the books your public library has on one of your subjects of interest and send a letter making recommendations to the library systems' head librarian? LOL How is that for "more specific"?

[Nicks_Nose]

I have a degree in sociology too, and cultural anthropology. That is why I have such an interest in social issues. I buy many books relating to political issues like the IRA, Middle Eastern studies, Canada's Secret Service, Guerrilla warfare, forensic psychology etc, etc. I am just trying to figure out social movement patterns and human behaviour and how society justifies its actions against its fellow man. I also read other books about the opposite like Understanding religion, Happiness, The History of Human Rights, Transforming Power etc. through all of this reading though, I still feel powerless to do anything without getting my foot in the door and actually speaking to people who matter. This is why I feel powerless and just like selling all of my books. It is like being hungry in front of a bakery window. Reading the books tells me what needs to be done. I just have nothing to do anything with.

[Perna]

I get the nothing to do anything with. My daydreams use to be what I'd do with $10,000,000 that I'd win from the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. I was so busy working on my philanthropic organizations and nonprofits with my imaginary money that I did not even realize that Publisher's Clearing House no longer sells magazines! They sell cheap drugstore/discount/dollar store you've-seen-it-on-TV crap now, not a magazine to be found and they still have the same name?

Anyway, I realized that even Bill Gates has to figure out exactly what organizations to give to, he can't give to them all or all the money he'd like, etc. There's no reason that I can't think of an idea and how to scale it to my size?

Unfortunately, even when I scaled things to my size or had an idea that was worth wanting to pursue when I had an extra $1,000,000 lying around, I still was guilty of not trying to do what I could or finding out others had done what I had imagined.

If I were you, I'd see if I could get a job or volunteer with a political nonprofit you like or scale down something you see and see if you can find a piece of something to try and back with your time and energy. I worked with a tri-state Government nonprofit teaching nonprofits how to run more efficiently and learned some of the problems of nonprofits in my area. I'm next to West Virginia and they have a heck of a time with transportation; they can't get workers to central places to work (even if they could get a manufacturing company into the "hills" they then wouldn't have enough workers?) how do you inexpensively get your lower level workers to and from their jobs when they are all spread out? It is puzzles like that that I enjoy.

But I'm getting older and I was last working on the puzzle of how do you keep older people who are living in their homes engaged and able to go grocery shopping for themselves, or go to visit friends, shop, do things out of their homes? Once one loses a car/ability to drive, then what?

I invented an inexpensive car ride system with student social workers, gerontology and psychology students, etc. (I'm near many large, good universities) and others who "care" who would have specific clients, it would be a subscription service, where you'd pay, kind of like you have to for owning a car and buying gas, insurance, maintenance, etc., I'd get grants too so I could pay the student drivers but I'd make it work so they'd be doing work that was sort of germane to their studies in getting to know their clients and listening to them, being a sort of companion if necessary, etc.

Of course, while I was daydreaming, I recently found my county has started a crude version of what I had in mind (it's not quite close enough to me to participate in, the communities it serves are on the other side of the county): Getting There Ride Share | Transportation service for seniors in Harford County

But something like that is how I get more specific with my goals; put what you have in mind on paper and then scale it down to its elements; what keeps the FARC and Colombia Government at odds and what role does cocaine play, etc. How would you work on the international and US heroine, cocaine, etc. problem, starting with the farmers that grow the initial plant because they can't support their families growing anything else and ending with the prostitutes that get picked up over and over who are drug addicted (I watch "Cops" and "Jail" and get so mad at the "Jail" show picking up the prostitutes and they are pregnant and drug addicted and they don't keep them in jail, at least until after the baby is born! They get out and then "disappear" and don't appear for their court date, which is why they get picked up in the first place over and over).

Specific goals is finding something in front of you that you like/don't like and figuring out how to insert yourself where it matters, "do" something.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Nicks_Nose

I still feel powerless to do anything without getting my foot in the door and actually speaking to people who matter.

Hmm, so what stops you from speaking with those people? Is there one group or social movement that grabs you? Is there some obviously wrong thing happening that you can see going a different and better way? It doesn't seem like it would cost anything but time to make some moves in that direction, so obviously I don't really understand your situation and what you've said about it.

I would love to talk more about this with you. But it can open up topics that are too private. If so, feel free to PM me.

I am not a socially-oriented person, but I grew up amongst socially-involved people so I have learned a little bit. Still, I have an outsider perspective, and that can sometimes be useful.

[winter4me]

Perhaps a goal could be to write one letter a month for Amnesty International? Or a like organization. Or just to write a letter to the editor on a weekly/biweekly basis? Someplace to start expressing your views and concerns. Take part in political actions, set a goal of one each season, having the internet really helps in finding specific meetings/protests/discussion groups that cost only your time and your intellect/feelings. Just take One interest at a time and make one commitment to do a specific action.
I too have great difficulty with specifics---and I have found that I have to literally take one day at a time now to get things done. Sometimes I can go further afield but it is hard. I miss a time long ago when I had commitments (political and social) that just drove me to Be There and Do or Say something. (and am proud to have an activist daughter...who never knew her mother as such, but who hasn't suffered MI and is out there working on changing the world with vision, determination, and education...)

[Nicks_Nose]

Thank you everybody, so much, for all of your great helpful ideas. I think the first step I have to take, which I have taken is trying to get off of night shift work. I have applied for a transfer in my company to a daytime position (waiting to hear about it now). This will enable me to get back in touch with the outside world on daytime schedule. I has been difficult to do anything in volunteering while I have to sleep all day and work all night.

This town I am in is a population of only 20,000 people. It does not have a lot of options to it and we are on an island which cuts it off from the mainland of Canada so travel is quite lengthy. There are limited options here but I will try to get back into writing again. I corresponded with people before about ideas I had but I did not know how to break them down into step by step development to get them going, since I have not been in the position to do it before. Many people love my ideas, I did a proposal for a youth exchange at a forum for Rural development and the University picked up on my idea and began such a program. I also wrote to an economic developer about an idea for a tram system in our city and they loved it but I would have to attract investors and I have never done such a things before. I lack the knowledge of how to do it and in this small city, if you have an idea, you have to know how to go the rest of the way with an idea. Nobody else will run with an idea or mentor you. I am just a deli worker. I have never done sales pitches for business investors I wouldn't know the first thing involved in it.

[Perna]

Ah, a mentor! You have excellent ideas and track records, can you join this?

Mentoring - Canadian Youth Business Foundation

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Nicks_Nose

. . .Many people love my ideas . . .

I can see how living in an isolated small town would have a big effect on making connections. Have you thought of things like Kickstarter, where you can write a proposal and get crowdfunded. If other people think it's cool, they will fund it. Sounds like that might fit you.

I'm not sure which can or can't be used in Canada, but there are other similar sites to Kickstarter. Here are some links about them to get you started if you are interested:

The Best Sites to Raise Money and Get Your Ideas Off the Ground

http://mashable.com/2012/12/06/kicks...89e4026300340e

Kickstarter Similar Sites | 50 Websites Like Kickstarter.com - SimilarSiteSearch.com

And here's a sampling of recent Kickstarter successes, to give you a flavour of what they do:

http://www.kickstarter.com/year/2012