[FirePhoenix]

I get the basic idea. But I don't know how to come up with goals.

The only one I have is that I want to travel. But that's not a very good goal. I don't know how to come up with goals related to getting better, or anything like that. I'm kind of lost.

[optimize990h]

Different people respond differently to the same situation.

So, what I will write about may not be helpful, but since I am the first one to respond, maybe others will respond as well.

As tiresome, it seems to me, making a yes or no list of choices is a start. A choice of either or such that you can say yes or no to in your choice.

Go through your yes choices and put more details on each selection. Then choose a goal that seems repetitive and simple. e.g. something positive that you can tolerate like a joke or something goofy-like Vicks Vaporrub cures toe nail fungus(you have to find something that appeals to you and makes me smile.)

OK, I do not know if you are sure what I am doing. In this case, I am using positive thoughts to be repeated, so eventually they will hardwired into your brain, overwriting some negativity.

Hopefully, other members will respond and give their feedback.

[Perna]

Goals are about wanting. You want to travel. That is a start, delivery of your supplies, now you have to check your tools and then build something with that lumber

Tools: What does travelling need? Time, money, direction (where to?) means (airline, bus, train, boat tickets), ability to communicate along the way

What are you going to build and how are you going to go about it? Well, you want to see April in Paris but don't know much French so you'll do a one week trip to Quebec next month, see how that goes and maybe take a continuing ed class in French from your local community college. You figure you need another $500 so you'll take a part-time, evening/weekend job at a Mall store over Christmas, if you clear $50/wk., you have to work at least 10 weeks (2-1/2 months) so you need to apply now. You'll skip the Quebec trip, check the scheduling on working and taking a French class and maybe switch to a good French course on CD's that you can listen to driving to/from your regular job.

You just put together a plan based on what you want with what you need to get what you want and play with the pieces until it looks like it will work.

What does "getting better" mean to you? You have to have the specific want before you can explore the tools you need? Say you are depressed.

You want to feel better, less depressed.

Tools: Meds, therapy, better lifestyle/habits, more/better support/friends (less sad and lonely)

Don't want meds, no money for therapy, that leaves better lifestyle/habits, more/better support/friends (less sad and lonely).

For more/better support/friends (less sad and lonely) one has to go out and "find" people. I like to read, I'll go to the library, see if there are any local reading groups and/or interesting community handout newspapers listing classes and other groups I might be interested in.

For lifestyle/habits: I'm having difficulty with my sleep habits, I'll start a simple diary of my meds/OTC vitamins and drugs and when I take them, how I'm feeling; I'll work on going to bed the same time each night and getting up the same time each morning; getting at least 5 fruits and vegetables a day and paying attention to my water intake, caffeine (lessen), pay attention to bowel habits (drinking too much too late in the day so wake to pee and not getting adequate dietary fiber so going to the bathroom irregularly), I'll start doing some stretching and simple exercising and make sure I go out and take a 10 minute walk at least once a day.

Or: I belong to an online group where I can do my food/exercise tracking and talk with others about problems I am having similar to theirs (aging, arthritis) and keep a health blog there too. Getting involved in something (my health) is a very good way to help lessen depression.

Look at what you want, and what you need and work on gathering what you need so you can go after what you want effectively. If you want more friends, you have to go to where there are people; a class, hobby, public interactive event/volunteer, a job at a large organization that has extracurricular events of its own (softball/bowling team :-)

[Webgoji]

One thing I would suggest is choosing your goals so that they aren't something that depends on others. Basically, you can achieve them yourself and it doesn't require the approval of anyone else.

For example your goal could be, "I'm going to take a short walk twice per week." That one doesn't depend on someone helping you, nor can anyone tell you it wasn't good enough.

By doing so, you can make your goals achievable and they don't get contaminated by someone else's negativity.

[sadp8r]

When I first started in recovery in 98 I asked that same question...I never really knew how to set goals....I think its differeent for everyone so I would like to share how I've come to set goals...I learned that first goals can change,are flexible..also I look at it like a soccer game...whatever goal I set either long term...like I did years ago when I set out to volunteer...or short term like drawing a picture or getting a rock painting done in a week....I realize there are going to be obstacles and sometimes ill fall ...at times I'm able to get up and continue on my own and other times I need help getting up by my (treatment)team mates....though wen I'm unable to reach a goal I realize its ok....and I try again or set a new goal...even something like walking to library....could be a goal...or cleaning my apartment....I also found journaling and writing down what I would like to achieve helpful and ways to go about accomplishing them....I hope this made sense.....

[Auntie2014]

When I am really down with my depression I do what I call ABC's with TD5s. If I make a big list of goals or To Do items I end up being very overwhelmed and do nothing. I make a simple list of 5 things do. EX: 1 Get out of Bed 2 Shower 3 brush teeth 4 get dressed 5 eat breakfast. This would be my A list. When the A list is done I make another list of 5 (b list) I challenge myself to do more lists throughout the day just to keep me moving and staying positive. At the end of the day I give myself a pat on the back for what I was able to do for the day. The key for me is to keep the list to 5 things at a time. I always try to do more letters than the day before. When I have a set back I give myself permission to start over.

[Marla500]

Auntie2014 this helped me yesterday, I felt really down after forgetting to take my meds for a couple of days and I was really struggling. I did one thing at a time and it seemed so much easier. I didn't think ahead, I just did the next thing I needed to do small step by small step and I got through it.

[Auntie2014]

Originally Posted by Marla500

Auntie2014 this helped me yesterday, I felt really down after forgetting to take my meds for a couple of days and I was really struggling. I did one thing at a time and it seemed so much easier. I didn't think ahead, I just did the next thing I needed to do small step by small step and I got through it.

Thank You for the feed back. I like that it does keep me focused. Knowing that if and when I finish my A list of 5 Keeps me from straying. I do like to challenge myself to do more than one list per day but do not start a new list till the one I am working on is done. I count the down time to write another list as a reward for finishing the one before.