[Jabrielle]

I am kinda stuck. I actually have been really stuck in a rut for years, and done many self-help activities in that time to get out but the momentum has only been temporary. At first I thought it was grief as I lost my mate...then I thought I was depressed. I would pile on obligations, and classes and self-help stuff to climb out. These worked for a while, but no real ongoing turn-around. The past two months I have been shedding as much stuff as I can.
First some very draining relationships got either ditched, or revamped with clear boundaries. Then I started throwing out or donating material possessions that have been boxed for years and useless to me (still doing that). A lot of weight seemed to lift from me. School, which I have been totally unable to do because of all the other stresses was the next to go. This was really weighing on me, as I have been dragging classes out for about 5 years. Still have 5 classes to go before getting my AS. I am flat exhausted mentally from it and need to rethink the direction with that as several classes (6) did not transfer over (moved from Calif. to east coast).
All I have left now is work (3 days a week and want to add one more day), care giving my sister, the garden with my dad (huge project every year), and finishing off house repairs. None of these goals are really new, but I want to approach them anew. Yet, I am still feeling very overwhelmed. How do I start different? Do I need therapy? I do attend a grief group still (by-weekly), but that too is losing effectiveness. Sometimes I just want to walk away from it all.

[kaliope]

I think therapy would be a good choice. it sounds like you are doing a lot on your own but with no break thru. therapy could offer you the insight you need to make those breakthrus. take care

[Frankbtl]

Hi Jabrielle, I'm not surprised if you're feeling overwhelmed right now!!
You've made so many changes towards improving things for yourself in the last two months. and perhaps you haven't really had the time/head space to absorb the positiveness in them yet.
I'd say you have turned the page, you have set the scene for the way ahead but really you need to give yourself a bit of a breather before pushing yourself into........
And you know if you take some time and gradually start thinking about possibilities of goals/achievements which are going to feel right to you, from where you are now, you're going to be getting a clearer picture of where you want to go/what you want to do.
I'd say you have made a big breakthrough, just allow yourself to experience and appreciate that and for now reduce the pressure on yourself just a little.
I'm not saying just stand still with things, but allow yourself to gradually explore where you want to go next. And if you think therapy may help, then go for it. But see it as taking everything you've already done and moving on with that. You're no longer starting again, you're moving on!!
Alison