[98lovinglife]

I let little things like someone saying something that is insulting but then it puts me down for days after so has anyone got any techniques to not let them get to them?

[glok]

Hello, 98lovinglife.

The Road To Resilience

I wish you well.

[hvert]

I do the same thing --- it is very frustrating! For me it is not just what people say, but what they do -- like when I am driving and someone cuts me off, it will bother me enough that I want to tell my boyfriend about it when he gets home.

I have been trying to remind myself to give other people the benefit of the doubt. I may have misinterpreted what they meant or they may not have seen me (if they cut me off).

[PianogirlPlays]

So hard to stop going over it. Writing, talking it out with the person, getting a grip, getting distracted, music, getting help. Focus is so important.

[hvert]

Do you all find that something may not bother you one week but then the next it does? Last week I sent out a lot of messages to people I'd just met. I didn't take it personally if someone didn't reply. This week, I'm taking it personally. It's weird - I wonder if it is hormonal for me.

I thought of another idea -- correct the person immediately instead of silently festering about it. That clears up any misunderstandings right then and there and also lets the person know to be more considerate next time.

[IrisBloom]

If you are being the best person you can be, if someone has a problem with you, it is just that: their problem. Some people don't stop to think before they speak. I've learned while dealing with the public that if someone is rude or unpleasant to you they may be having a bad day or just may be a negative person. Really nothing do do with you personally. They were an @$$ before you came along and will be after you are gone. Same applies to other drivers.

The next time someone insults you smile and thank them for their insight. That will make them wonder. lol

[Malkhaz]

I think the idea that I am doing everything I possibly can to be the best that I can possibly be is what keeps me from worrying about other people's criticism.

It's usually when I don't take charge of my life that someone says something negative, and I feel like there's a basis for it and get affected.

[knight7]

Hi 98lovinglife,
I would suggest you take a look at the book Feeling Good by David Burns. It has a chapter or two about how to deal with criticism. You may find the techniques helpful.

[DarrenPH]

At least 2% of everyone you meet won't like you, it's nothing you've done it's just the way it is, if you have someone who you just don't get on with or doesn't get on with you, pop them in the 2% bucket, you can't please everybody so why try?

You might also want to look into some self-esteem building techniques, I used to care about everything people said to me, since I pumped my self esteem up to a healthy level most comments just wash over me like water off a ducks back.

I actually found that in alot cases the insults were meant as friendly banter but I took every one to heart and whenever anyone gave me a compliment I dismissed it as a one off comment or as a way of getting something from me, never once did I think it was a genuine compliment with no ulterior motive.