[AC640]

This is a letter I wrote to a person on another depression forum. Before anyone reads this, I want to let you know that I don't mean to cause any trouble by posting this letter. I do it out of pure empathy for people who are going through similar things that I went through. I just wanted to say this because I was banned by the administrators of the other forum for posting this.

I understand what you are going through and how you feel. And I’d like to share some ideas with you that might help you navigate through this journey of life.

First, I would like to tell you a little bit about myself to give you a sense of who I am and where I’m coming from. My name is Andrew Colón and I am 21 years old. When I was 16, I started going through a deep depression that lasted until I was 20 years old. Throughout this time, I contemplated suicide very seriously. Day after day, I would try to find a reason to keep living. At the time I was selling drugs and at the same time using drugs. I was also drinking heavily. I used drugs and alcohol as a way to forget about the pain I felt. I would look at my life, the lives of my family, and the lives of other people around me and saw nothing but suffering and sadness. And I would think to myself, “Is this really all that life has to offer?” “Is this what I was put on this earth for, to suffer?” It seemed as if I was just a leaf blowing in the wind, with no purpose. I didn’t want to be another mindless person stuck in the cycle of school, work, retirement, then death. I also didn’t want to go through life being a slave to money and never really experiencing true happiness and joy. I knew there was more to life than money and materialism.

I was so depressed and angry at the world. Most days I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, and much less socializing. I was tired of putting on a fake smile and pretending that nothing was wrong. So slowly, I began alienating myself from my friends and family. It got to the point where I would go weeks without talking to anybody, not even my family. I felt completely alone and as if I didn’t belong in this world.

During this time alone I did a lot of thinking and soul searching. I would think mostly about why I felt the way I did. But one day, it occurred to me that I couldn’t be the only person that felt this way. And that maybe someone had found a way to overcome this feeling of despair. And so I began my journey of self discovery.

I began devoting my free time to finding these people and learning from them. To my surprise, I found countless people that felt very similar to the way I felt. It was actually shocking to me how similar we felt. Out of all the people I learned from, the 3 that stood out most were Alan Watts, Jiddu Krishnamurti, and Lao Tzu. They completely changed the way I view myself and the way I view the world. I don’t feel angry or depressed anymore. To be honest, I feel like a new person. I am filled with happiness and I see beauty everywhere I look. I owe a lot of this to the lessons I learned from these 3 people. Some of the ideas that I am going to share with you are ideas I learned from these 3 people. And some are ideas of my own.

Before I share these ideas with you, I would like to ask you to please keep an open mind. Some of what you will read may seem abstract and esoteric. It may also go completely against the way you think. But if your mind is open, I am certain you will see it’s profound truth. And remember, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

There are many reasons for why myself and so many others feel depressed and confused. But I believe there is a root/main cause that underlies most of these reasons. And I believe it is the way we think about ourselves in relationship to the world around us. We think of ourselves as separate from the rest of the world. We feel as if we are strangers to this world. And sometimes we feel that we don't really belong here, and that us being here is a complete accident.
“I, a stranger and afraid
In a world I never made.”
These lines of poetry are an accurate description of the way so many people feel. And because of these ideas/feelings we have about ourselves, we are constantly in a state of confusion and we wonder where exactly do we fit into all of this. This is the way I felt for a long time.

But the truth is you are not separate from the rest of the world. And you are not foreign to it. You are part of the universe just like the stars and the planets. I will now explain to you why this is true.

It should be obvious that we are part of the universe and that we are just as natural to it as the stars and the planets. But to most people it is not obvious at all. Why is that? What makes us feel so apart from everything and everyone? If you really dig deep into this question, you will come to find that the primary cause of this feeling of separation is our language. You might be asking yourself, “How can language, something that helps us communicate and share ideas, make us feel separate?” To understand the answer to this question, you must understand the nature of language.

In order to efficiently/accurately communicate, study, measure, or describe something you have to either isolate the subject from it’s surroundings or you must divide the subject into separate parts. Otherwise, whatever you are trying to communicate, study, measure, or describe becomes extremely vague and unintelligible.

I’ll give you a simple example of this. Lets pretend we live in a period of time in which modern language doesn’t exist yet and our only method of communication is very crude body language and noises. How would you attempt to communicate with me while I am standing in the middle of a crowd of people. You might start by making noises, waving your hands, and pointing your finger towards me. And if you’re lucky, I might realize that you are trying to communicate with me. But if it were a very large crowd, you would most likely not be able to communicate with me and you would end up looking like an idiot making random noises and waving. Your only option would be to walk through the large crowd until you are close enough to me. But whether the crowd is large or small, the method of communication is rather inefficient. But what if there was a sound you could make that would isolate me from the other people around me. And just by making this sound, you could almost instantly get my attention and communicate with me without having to wave your arms, point at me, or even look at me. This would be a very efficient way of communicating with me, right? Well, there is a sound that does just that. It’s called your name. So now, instead of waving, pointing, and making random noises, you can just make the noise “Andrew”, and we would be able to communicate. But in order for this noise to be efficient, it has to isolate and separate me from the crowd. If you were to say, “Hey you”, this would not be as efficient because it is too vague and I wouldn‘t know who you are trying to communicate with.

Another example of the separation language creates can be seen in the method scientists use to study and describe the subject/s they are researching. Look at the way scientists study and describe the human body. They break it down into separate systems: skeletal system, circulatory system, nervous system, digestive system, etc. They describe the human body as if it were some sort of machine with separate and independent parts.

I don’t want you to misunderstand me. I am in no way saying that language is evil and that we should get rid of it. That would be extremely foolish. There is no denying that language has allowed us to learn so much about ourselves and nature. Much of this would have been impossible to learn without the use of language. But the problem caused by language occurs when we confuse the way we communicate, study, measure, or describe the natural world with the way the natural world actually is. In the natural world there are no independent parts/things or independent events. There is no separation or isolation. Lets go back to my first example of you trying to communicate with me while I am standing in a crowd. In order to efficiently communicate with me, you have to isolate me from the other people by saying my name. So subconsciously, I begin to associate myself with this sound people use to identify me. I begin to think that I am this sound and that I am different from John, Jane, Bill, and Bob. If I were to ask somebody, “Who are you?” Without even hesitating, they would say their name. But is this really who you are? Are you really just a sound? The answer of course is NO. You are much more than the sound people use to identify you. Who you really are is much deeper and more complex than just sound. And you are not isolated from other people. If you were truly isolated and independent, you would not exist. If your mom and dad didn’t exist, you would not exist. So your existence is completely dependent on them. We all depend on one another whether we know it or not.

Now lets take a look at my second example. Scientists separate the human body into different systems so that they can accurately describe and study it. But this is not how the human body actually is. If you could look inside a human body and examine it, you will see that there are no separate or independent parts/systems. There are no divisions between the nervous system, digestive system, circulatory system, etc. They are connected and interdependent. If one stops working, they all stop working. It is all one system.

Not only is your body one system, but so is the entire natural world. Everything is interconnected and interdependent. Sometimes, it is difficult to see these connections. But if you look closely, you can see them everywhere. Lets look at the relationship of a flower and a bee. Just by looking at them, most people would say that they are not connected. But this is completely untrue. Bees depend on the nectar and pollen of flowers for nourishment. But in the process of moving from flower to flower to eat pollen and nectar, it also collects pollen to bring back to colony for food. Some of this pollen collected by the bee is rubbed off when it lands on a flower or while it is moving on the flower. This pollen that is rubbed off is what pollinates the flower and allows it to produce seeds and eventually new flowers. Many plants depend on animals like bees, birds, bats, beetles, and butterflies to pollinate them. But bees are the main pollinators. One bee colony can pollinate 300 million flowers per day. 90% of the crops ate around the world are pollinated by bees! Without bees, The majority of flowers and other plants around the world would die off. So if the flowers depend on the bees for their existence, and the bees depend on the flowers for their existence, are they really separate? If you take away one of them, you can’t have the other. So are they truly independent? Obviously not. They are completely dependent on each other. They are really one organism. Just because they are not physically attached to each other does not mean they are separate. Now ask yourself, if 90% of the crops we eat are dependent on bees, are we really separate from bees? I think you know the answer to that.

Now let’s look at the relationship of all animals and plants. In school, we are taught that the food chain begins with plants. But technically, that is not true. In the soil, there are microorganisms such as bacteria and fungi. These microorganisms perform many important functions: they help regulate the temperature of the soil, they break down the vitamins and minerals in the soil so that the plant is able to absorb these vitamins and minerals, and they act as a sort of immune system for the plant by eating the harmful parasites that attack the plant. Without these microorganisms, plants would not be able to grow. And so the whole food chain would collapse, starting with the plants, then the herbivores, and eventually the carnivores. But these microorganisms also eat dead plant matter and dead animals. They eat and break down the dead plants and dead animals and incorporate this decaying material into the soil. This decaying material adds vital nutrients to the soil allowing plants to grow. Without these microorganisms, plants and animals would not exist. But without plants and animals, these microorganisms would not exist. As you can see, it’s not really a food chain. It’s more like a food circle. And if you take one section of this circle away, it all falls apart. It is all one system, just like your body. Everything depends on everything.

Earlier in this letter, I said that in the natural world there are no independent parts/things or independent events. So far, we have talked about how there are no independent parts/things. But now, I will explain to you why there are no independent events. I will use two examples to show you why this is true. The first will be the process of a baby growing into an adult. And the second will be the formation of the universe. When people describe the process of a baby growing into an adult, they break the process down into a series of separate events/stages so that it is easier to understand and describe the process of human growth. The first of these events is birth, then infancy, childhood, the teenage years, adulthood, and then finally you have the elderly years. But in real life, this is not how a baby grows. The baby is not different/separate from the adult. The baby is the early form of an adult, and the adult is the later form of a baby. There are no separate stages in the process of human growth. Can you tell me the exact moment when you stopped being a baby and became a child? You can't because there is no clear division between these stages (Besides your age, which isn't real, it is just a way to measure approximately how long you have existed.). It is all one continuous process. And it is the same with the formation of the universe. The process is broken down into separate events/stages beginning with the Big Bang, expansion, cooling down of the universe, formation of subatomic particles, formation of atoms, formation of galaxies, formation of planets and solar systems, emergence of intelligent life, etc. But the universe didn’t form in separate events/stages, it was/is a continuous process. And just like the adult which is not different/separate from the baby, all the events following the Big Bang are not different/separate from the Big Bang. They still are the Big Bang, just in a later form of it in the same way that the adult is the later form of the baby. What this means is that you are not a separate and accidental result of the Big Bang, you are the Big Bang! You are the later form of the Big Bang, and the Big Bang is the early form of you. And if you are the Big Bang, than that means that I am also the Big Bang, and that we all are the Big Bang. We are not flukes in the universe, we are the universe, and the universe is us.

And when you realize that everything in this universe is you, it is hard to look at anything the same way you did before. Everything looks new and incredibly beautiful. Even simple things like blade of grass, or something marvelous like the stars in the night sky. It is all you, only in a different form.

The last idea I want to share with you is that not only is everything in the universe related to and dependent on each other, but so are your thoughts and your feelings. Lets compare happiness and sadness. In our mind we think of them as complete opposites. But this is not correct. They go together. And without one, you can’t have the other. If you have never experienced sadness, you would never be able to experience happiness because you wouldn’t have a frame of reference. You wouldn’t have any thing to compare the happiness to. You need to know and experience sadness to be able to know and experience happiness. It is the same with sensations like hot and cold, and light and darkness. You wouldn’t have any clue what hot is if you don’t know what cold is. And if you were to ask a blind person , “Do you know what darkness is?” They would say no. Even though everything they see is complete darkness, they don’t know what it is because they have never seen light. A simple metaphor for all this is the front and back of a piece of paper. On the surface they seem completely different and unrelated. But in reality, they are one. And without the front there is no back. This is one of the keys to understanding life.

I believe with all my heart that everything happens for a reason. Even all the bad things that I’ve been through. They all taught me a lesson that I never would have learned if I didn’t go through them. And maybe the reason I went through depression was so that I would be able to write this letter to you. If I didn’t go through depression, I would not be able to relate to you and I would have no idea of what to say to try and help you. And maybe the reason you are going through this depression is to be able to help someone that is going through the same things you are going through.


P.S. If you are reading this, I want to congratulate you for making it through this whole letter. I know it was pretty long, but hopefully you didn’t get too bored. I tried to make it as interesting as possible.

If there was something you didn’t understand, or if you want to talk about what you are going through, feel free to message me.

[Travelinglady]

Hello, AC640, and welcome to Psych Central! I agree with some of your thoughts--that we are all interconnected and in a sense, a part of the universe, anyway.

Thanks for sharing.

[AC640]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Hello, AC640, and welcome to Psych Central! I agree with some of your thoughts--that we are all interconnected and in a sense, a part of the universe, anyway.

Thanks for sharing.

I really appreciate the comment.

I hope you don't mind me asking, but I just wanted to know what were some of the ideas you don't agree with?

[growlycat]

Just want to let you know I read all of this too. Not sure why it was taken down by an admin?

As someone else who struggles with depression, I can see how "knowing" we are connected and FEELING connected do not always go hand in hand. One can agree with what you have said and still feel utterly alone.

It was a thoughtful gesture to help someone though, I hope it worked.

[AC640]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Just want to let you know I read all of this too. Not sure why it was taken down by an admin?

As someone else who struggles with depression, I can see how "knowing" we are connected and FEELING connected do not always go hand in hand. One can agree with what you have said and still feel utterly alone.

It was a thoughtful gesture to help someone though, I hope it worked.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for taking the time to give me some feedback.

Sadly, you are absolutely right. Knowing something in your head and knowing something in your heart are completely different. But as the old saying goes, I can open the door for somebody, but I can't make them walk through it.

Thank you very much for what you have written. Now I have read it, the hard part is really believing in it. There is a difference, I have found.

I agree with what you say about the frame of reference. Sometimes it's difficult though, I don't mean to sound negative, but I am the other end of what you were saying. You see, I've been sad, isolated and depressed for as long as I've had a memory. But, I didn't know that, I only learned at 23 that I might actually be depressed. The result is, I knew nothing else except sadness, I don't know what happiness feels like. Your frame of reference idea is spot on. I know you were trying to shed a positive light with that, but I just wanted to show that it can apply in the negative sense too. Another one that goes with that is when you don't experience loss, you'll never know what gain is. You see, I've never experienced happiness in my life, so I never knew I was sad! The result is if happiness had a chance to come into my life I wouldn't even know it. So, how did I know I'm possibly not happy? I saw that other people around me had many more things in their life - relationships, friendships, full lives and that I was lacking that, and they seemed a lot more motivated to do things because of it. Also, by the time I was 23 and realized that I'd never had a girlfriend (or even touched by a girl at that point), and that nobody had ever invited me to their house for a party or any type of social gathering, I realized something was not right. As a result, I realized I had depression and then the floodgates were opened. I never had the symptoms before, until then. I realized I was sad and left out, and things like suicidal thoughts came naturally after that. But, this is where it gets interesting. I made a mistake. You see, I began to define happiness as what I saw from other people. I thought to be happy I needed what they had. And, naturally, I couldn't get it, because I wasn't like them in any way. Naturally, that made my depression worse. That's when I realized I was different all my life. A bit of research and visits to a psychologist quickly led me to an answer - I was autistic all along. You see, in my world, nobody ever told me I had a problem. I was leading a depraved life and didn't even know it (your frame of reference idea). It's only when you begin to see what others are doing with their lives that you begin to see that it looks like you are missing out or something. But, I now realized I was different and I, despite being depraved, was happy in my own way, because I didn't know that I was sad (I know it sounds confusing). It's like let's say a guy gets born on the street to parents who live on the street, or in the wilderness, the setting is irrelevant. He never knows what it's like living in a house, going to school, having money, etc. But, I doubt that guy is depressed, why? Because he doesn't know that not having that stuff is supposed to make you sad or feel like a failure of some kind. Ignorance is bliss. But, the issues come when you get taught or shown by others that there are certain things in life that are nice to have. If you're a man, then these will most likely be a wife, a nice house, a good-looking fit and ripped body, many friends, good amount of money and so forth. It's then when the guy eats the fruit from the proverbial "tree of life" and the shells fall off his eyes. He realizes he is nowhere near where he should be, when compared to others his age. The same thing happened to me. It's then when you are cursed, because you now know, you have the knowledge, you can see yourself in the world's eyes. That opens the door for depression and all the other nasty things that plague that guy from that day forward. I've been trying mighty hard to change my thinking since realizing this. I have some small victories, but it's difficult. I'm not as depressed as before, I've realized I am unique and I can find happiness again in my own way, as defined by me. But, it's hard. You have to believe in yourself again, and it doesn't happen overnight. Plus, once this curse has got you, it doesn't like to be shaken off. I might have kicked the depression, but I have other problems. When I had depression, I wasn't thinking straight, and I let some people into my life I shouldn't have. They are now part of my life and they are taking a huge toll on me, financially, among other things. Also, all the damage caused by the depression are now permanent scars and although they have healed, some things I realized will never be perfect again. That sucks, but at least I'm not so dark and sad anymore. Some days though are tough, but I guess that's just something that's going to stay forever. You can heal your wounds, but not your scars, unfortunately.

Oh, and trust me, I listen, even when nobody thinks I am .

[AC640]

Originally Posted by StbGuy

Thank you very much for what you have written. Now I have read it, the hard part is really believing in it. There is a difference, I have found.

I agree with what you say about the frame of reference. Sometimes it's difficult though, I don't mean to sound negative, but I am the other end of what you were saying. You see, I've been sad, isolated and depressed for as long as I've had a memory. But, I didn't know that, I only learned at 23 that I might actually be depressed. The result is, I knew nothing else except sadness, I don't know what happiness feels like. Your frame of reference idea is spot on. I know you were trying to shed a positive light with that, but I just wanted to show that it can apply in the negative sense too. Another one that goes with that is when you don't experience loss, you'll never know what gain is. You see, I've never experienced happiness in my life, so I never knew I was sad! The result is if happiness had a chance to come into my life I wouldn't even know it. So, how did I know I'm possibly not happy? I saw that other people around me had many more things in their life - relationships, friendships, full lives and that I was lacking that, and they seemed a lot more motivated to do things because of it. Also, by the time I was 23 and realized that I'd never had a girlfriend (or even touched by a girl at that point), and that nobody had ever invited me to their house for a party or any type of social gathering, I realized something was not right. As a result, I realized I had depression and then the floodgates were opened. I never had the symptoms before, until then. I realized I was sad and left out, and things like suicidal thoughts came naturally after that. But, this is where it gets interesting. I made a mistake. You see, I began to define happiness as what I saw from other people. I thought to be happy I needed what they had. And, naturally, I couldn't get it, because I wasn't like them in any way. Naturally, that made my depression worse. That's when I realized I was different all my life. A bit of research and visits to a psychologist quickly led me to an answer - I was autistic all along. You see, in my world, nobody ever told me I had a problem. I was leading a depraved life and didn't even know it (your frame of reference idea). It's only when you begin to see what others are doing with their lives that you begin to see that it looks like you are missing out or something. But, I now realized I was different and I, despite being depraved, was happy in my own way, because I didn't know that I was sad (I know it sounds confusing). It's like let's say a guy gets born on the street to parents who live on the street, or in the wilderness, the setting is irrelevant. He never knows what it's like living in a house, going to school, having money, etc. But, I doubt that guy is depressed, why? Because he doesn't know that not having that stuff is supposed to make you sad or feel like a failure of some kind. Ignorance is bliss. But, the issues come when you get taught or shown by others that there are certain things in life that are nice to have. If you're a man, then these will most likely be a wife, a nice house, a good-looking fit and ripped body, many friends, good amount of money and so forth. It's then when the guy eats the fruit from the proverbial "tree of life" and the shells fall off his eyes. He realizes he is nowhere near where he should be, when compared to others his age. The same thing happened to me. It's then when you are cursed, because you now know, you have the knowledge, you can see yourself in the world's eyes. That opens the door for depression and all the other nasty things that plague that guy from that day forward. I've been trying mighty hard to change my thinking since realizing this. I have some small victories, but it's difficult. I'm not as depressed as before, I've realized I am unique and I can find happiness again in my own way, as defined by me. But, it's hard. You have to believe in yourself again, and it doesn't happen overnight. Plus, once this curse has got you, it doesn't like to be shaken off. I might have kicked the depression, but I have other problems. When I had depression, I wasn't thinking straight, and I let some people into my life I shouldn't have. They are now part of my life and they are taking a huge toll on me, financially, among other things. Also, all the damage caused by the depression are now permanent scars and although they have healed, some things I realized will never be perfect again. That sucks, but at least I'm not so dark and sad anymore. Some days though are tough, but I guess that's just something that's going to stay forever. You can heal your wounds, but not your scars, unfortunately.

Oh, and trust me, I listen, even when nobody thinks I am .

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond to you. I've been really busy recently.

I want to thank you for sharing some of your experiences with me. I enjoyed reading your response and I learned a lot from it. I especially like the part where you said, "I'm not as depressed as before, I've realized I am unique and I can find happiness again in my own way, as defined by me." There is a lot of wisdom in this statement, and you should feel lucky that you have realized this. Most people will never realize this and they will go through their whole life feeling miserable because they constantly compare themselves to others and seek happiness as defined by others instead of finding out what it means to them.

And I can definitely relate to having people in your life that hold you back. And I know you are intelligent enough to realize that sometimes, the only solution is to simply cut these people out of your life. I know that this is difficult, especially if you are a real friend and truly care about these people. It's also very difficult when these people are family, like it has been for me. Not only is it difficult, but it's also scary to change the situation your in once you have become so accustomed to it. But to me, it's scarier to think about what will happen if you don't cut these people out of your life. This is the thought that made me take action and do something about the people holding me back.

The last thing I wanted to share with you are some thoughts that I have been having after I read your response. Specifically, the part where you said, "Now I have read it, the hard part is really believing in it." You are not the first person to tell me this. And ever since then, I have been thinking how I can make it easier for someone to believe in the ideas that I'm sharing with them. How can I help someone believe in these ideas not only in their head, but also in their heart.

Let me start by clarifying the message I was trying to convey in my main post. My message was that we are not separate from each other or from the world around us. We only feel that we are separate because of language and social conditioning. But what I am beginning to realize is that there is deeper cause that creates this feeling of separation. And I believe this cause is what keeps people from realizing that they are one with the universe and everything in it. The cause is the way we view ourselves. Our conception or image of who we are. And it is this false idea of who we are that prevents us from knowing who we really are. But before I begin to talk about this false idea, I want to share a few interesting facts with you.

I realize that some of the ideas I am sharing with you seem a bit "out there", and they might come off as purely abstract. But I assure you, everything I am sharing with you is not only based on my experience and understanding, but it also based on scientific facts. The truth in what I am sharing with you can be seen all around you, but it all depends on how you look at it.

For example, I said that we are not separate from each other or from the world around us. Somebody might read this and say that this is only my opinion and not a scientific fact. But what that person doesn't realize is that what I'm saying is the same thing as what a scientist would say, only phrased in a different way. The way I describe the world is more or the same way an Ecologist would describe the world. The purpose of Ecology is to provide knowledge about the way the world works and provide evidence on the interdependence between the natural world and people. So I ask you, is the knowledge I am sharing really different from the knowledge of an Ecologist?

My view of the world is also very similar to the view of a Physicist. There are many laws used in the study of Physics. One of the laws that apply to what I'm discussing is the "Law of Conservation of Energy". This law states that, "The total amount of energy in a system remains constant (is conserved), although energy within the system can be changed from one form to another or transferred from one object to another. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, but it can be transformed." This is the basis of the statement I made in my main post about the formation of the universe and how we are the Big Bang. All I'm saying with this statement is that we are not a separate entity in this system/universe, we are the same basic energy that began with the Big Bang, only in a different form. In the words of the philosopher Alan Watts, "You and I are all as continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean. You are a function of this total galaxy, bounded by the Milky Way. And this galaxy is a function of all other galaxies. You are that vast thing that you see far, far off with great telescopes. You are the eternal thing that comes and goes, that appears now as John Jones, now as Mary Smith, now as Betty Brown - and so it goes, forever and ever and ever."

Another fact I would like to share with you comes from the fields of Astronomy and Astrophysics. The scientists working in these fields have learned that all the elements essential to life were formed in stars. During the final stages of the lifespan of a star, it begins forming the heavy elements needed in order for living things to exist (Hydrogen, Oxygen, Carbon, Nitrogen, etc.). When the star finally reaches the end of its lifespan, it explodes in what is called a Supernova. This explosion spreads the materials of the star across unimaginable distances. And this material is what forms solar systems like the one that we live in. And when planets begin to form in these solar systems, they are infused all the elements needed for life to exist. All the atoms in your body, and in the bodies of all living things, came from stars. This is amazing if you really think about it. It is very possible that there are millions, maybe even billions, of people whose atoms come from the same star that produced your atoms! It also possible that the atoms in your right hand came from one star, and the atoms in your left hand came from a star on the other side of the universe! These thoughts never cease to amaze me. Every time I'm outside looking at the stars, I'm filled with a sense of wonder. I realize that not only am I in the universe, but the universe is also in me. "Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence."

I want to make it clear that everything I have shared with you up to this point has been based on scientific facts. But this next idea is based on what I have learned through my own personal experience, and not on science.

All these scientific facts might help some people believe in what I'm saying. But they will most likely only believe it in their head, not their heart. In other words, they might understand it intellectually, but they won't feel it in their core. This brings me back to the false conception of who we are. Most people believe that what they are is a source of awareness/consciousness, an ego, that resides somewhere in their head. We feel as if our real self is somewhere behind our eyes and between our ears, and that the rest of our body is a separate part. This is evident when you listen to someone describe themselves physically. Instead of saying I am a body, they will say, "I have a body; I have eyes; I have legs, etc." They describe themselves as if they are separate being which is in possession of a body, eyes, legs, etc. They think of themselves as being or ego that is trapped inside of a body. In other words, they do not identify themselves with their body, but rather as something separate from it. And if we feel separate from our bodies it is impossible not to feel separate from the world around us, because it is through our body that we interact with the world around us. "Your skin doesn't separate you from the world, it's a bridge through which the external world flows into you, and you flow into it." Your ego is nothing more than an illusion/image of yourself created in your mind. And this image doesn't even come close to describing who you really are. The real you is so complex and profound, that it is difficult to put it into words. Just look at the way you digest your food, beat your heart, grow each hair, fire each neuron. You do all these things without having to thinking about it, and without even knowing how you do it! There is a deep intelligence in our body that we are not aware of because we are always stuck in our head. We don't realize our unconscious intelligence because we only focus on our conscious intelligence. This is a big mistake. You must realize that your body and mind are one. And if you realize this, you will also realize that you are one with the world around you. Your body and mind are completely dependent on the world around you, and without it you can't exist. This realization is called Nirvana or enlightenment in Buddhism, Moksha in Hinduism, and Satori in Zen Buddhism. All these words really mean is that you are no longer under the illusion that you are a separate being or ego; and realizing that what you really are, your essence, is the eternal and dynamic energy that is present in all living things and throughout the universe.



I know that the information I have shared with you is not going to be the solution to all of your problems. It certainly has not been for me. But what I have found out is that when you truly realize that you are one with the universe, the way you view everything changes. The way you view your life, the lives of others, and everything around you is completely different. You begin to see things clearly. And you realize that the negative emotions feeling and the problems you are facing are not as bad as you think they are. And that they are necessary in order for you to truly appreciate the moments of pure joy and happiness.

P.S. Thanks for listening

Originally Posted by AC640

I want to thank you for sharing some of your experiences with me...P.S. Thanks for listening

Thanks for the response .

I know you might think your ideas were a bit abstract, but to me they are really not at all . Sometimes an abstract way (an "image") is the best way to convey something, since an image does not only convey verbal communication/prose/words.

Your viewpoint is very understandable to me, as a scientist myself, I am quite familiar with the physics concepts you speak of. Thanks very much for that . We ARE nothing but transformed stellar material, as is all matter, I guess.

But there is another important thing. Did you know that humans have the power to make anything be the way they want, through just thinking about it? Yes, it's called projection. It really is like that. If you say something will be a certain way, that is how it will be. I think you are on to something with your language idea too. You see, because of the way we have defined things already as humans, we fail to see how our "commands" have actually manifested.

Thus, it is why it has become my life's mission to question accepted truths and definitions. Why? Because I have learnt that they blind us from what is really going on. We can't even see when we have actually succeeded at something. To us it looks like failure! Only because of what others have told us! I really want to people to realize it - if you say something must be like this or that, so it WILL be! Highly spiritual people (I tend to think of myself as one too) would try to describe it abstractly as saying you are telling angels to do things for you, for example. They are helpers, I don't know if people realize that. Of course, there exists a sinister component too, so people with evil intentions are likewise commanding demons to gather intelligence about others and do their bidding.

So another abstract idea:

Brain = "spirit"
Heart = "soul"

When the two are in "tune" the human is totally unshakable and immensely powerful. This is where the idea of faith and believing comes into it. When you believe something in your heart (soul) you have 100% faith and cannot fail, ever. The problem is, most of the time we only ever mouth the words (speaking of the spirit/little voice in the head, etc. etc.). So we say things like:

"Never judge a book by its cover."
"The grass always looks greener on the other side."
"Money isn't everything/doesn't buy you happiness."
Even "One plus one equals two!"

Everybody at this point will say, "Well, yeah, those are all true statements, I believe them too." Well, we don't actually. While we may say all the right things, we don't believe them. Some people say these things a thousand times a day. You can say it all you like, you still don't believe it. Why do I say this? Well, take a look at the world around you:

"Never judge a book by its cover." People all say this. Yet, the first thing people do when they see someone for the first time is judge people by the way they look, the clothes they wear, the car they drive, the way they speak, their "compatibility" with others, socially, and many other criteria.

"The grass always looks greener on the other side." People all say this to try and tell others that they would not wonder over to the other side for greener pastures. But, people do. They are never satisfied. They chase and chase and chase all their lives.

"Money isn't everything/doesn't buy you happiness." If people don't believe this, then why the hell does everyone seek more and more money on a daily basis? Why is it the cornerstone of our human race? You are a "nobody" (in the eye's of the world) without it (and there is nothing wrong with being this "nobody" by the way). This is the most sad thing I think we face today. You can go up to a kid of 4 years old, and he'll already be able to understand when you have the greenback, you've got power and you can get things and make things happen.

And yeah, the rules like 1 + 1 = 2. How do we even know this IS true?

If you look at the world today, the falsehoods people live by (they perceive it as fundamental truths) are:

"First impressions count."
"More is better/more."
"Might makes right."
"The grass IS always greener on the other side."
"I'll scratch your back, if you scratch mine."
"I made you, I can break you."
"Money isn't everything, it's the only thing."
"Seeing is believing."

Many will say that they do believe these things are selfish or even wrong, but they don't believe that. The mark is located in the way they conduct their everyday lives. Especially the last point. People say they have faith. Then why do they need proof about things? I have autism. On the outside it seems I am not a very nice guy. But, on the inside, I can be. I mean, I'm not perfect, but I try. But, my whole life I've had to spend trying to prove this to people. After spending 10 years with me (classmates for example) they say: "You're actually not a bad guy at all, you're actually rather cool, I wish we knew each other a lot better". I think to myself, why did it take you so long to realize that?

Real faith is when you do something without the "evidence". When you need evidence it shows that you doubt, and when you doubt, you don't have faith, it's really that simple. Remember what I said, when you say something will happen, it will! If you doubt, you say something will fail, and thus it will!

You see, my eyes went open. Not my eyes, but my spiritual "eyes". I asked myself "What is happiness?" and also "How do I attain happiness?". I looked at the world, at what they do, and I saw all humankind following the same thing. Grow up, get a job, get a house, get married, have kids, retire, die. It's then that it hit me. I said to myself "Is THIS the best they can come up with?" There is so much out there in the world, so many possibilities, so many things waiting to be discovered, begging for one human, if only one, to find it. All the potential in the world, and THIS is what people regard as the sum-total of a life well-lived? How bleak, selfish and rather pathetic! For all the potential humans have, and this is what they come up with? A 7-step how-to guide? This is not a life, it's a death sentence! That is when I turned away from the world's ways and am now trying to pursue a life of truth and real happiness. It will take time obviously, I am bounded by many commitments, but I can feel how I become more and more impatient everyday, just with life and the world out there.

So, then, what is real happiness? It is when you no longer need these things, or affirmation from someone. You are just yourself and you need no more than that.

Thanks for the discussion. These things are truly thought provoking. I am by no means an expert, I don't wish to be called one either (it's another falsehood to feed an ego). I am just me, and that's good enough for me .

[whatever meets your]

That Andrew is incredible. Do not think i say what follows out of meanness, but it takes someone who thinks in a way that is diffrent than others to bring such logic in to the world. For me you have brought a little bit of light. For that i must thank you Andrew, And so, Thank you.