Birthday, OCD, & Master's (1)

Hey everyone... ♥

Today is my birthday, & I've spent 29 years of my life! Actually, I think I've wasted 29 years of my life, except to graduate from college (which is equivalent to graduating from high school in America)!

Of course, as usual, I'm spending my birthday alone... See, I'm a hermit! Of course, I feel so lonely, but that's the basic theme of my life, after everybody left me 'cause of my unbearable OCD & delusions of persecution! :"( So I guess my post here on PC is the only contact with humanity I'm doing this birthday (except for watching a movie or two today)!

By the way, I've broken a rule in my OCD to start a thread here, so yeah, that's an up!

See, I don't have enough money to get therapy & be able to try to have a normal life, so I guess PC forums & you guys ♥ are all the ones I've got to help & be helped & love & be loved...

Anyway, I'm doing my Master's too since 2008, that's like since 7 years, & I'm stuck working on my thesis, that I just postponed my deadline a couple of months ago. And I'm only able to postpone it again until October 2016.

But the thing is, I'm wasting my time really! 'Cause I'm currently unemployed, & I said to myself I'll finish my Master's before working again. And other past colleagues of mine are doing their PhD now! And I started having doubts of the career path I've started, that I want to reconsider what I want to do most in my life after I finish my Master's, 'cause I've been stuck in it for so long (& have already spent so much of my family's money & my research & effort working in it)... So I'm kinda of postponing my whole life until I finish this **** thesis :$

So I've decided, ok, today is my birthday, & I'm not gonna finish my 30th year of life (my next birthday) until I finished my Master's! OH YES nushi!

So I've got one year to finish it!

I've got lots of problems to try & work through to achieve this *gulp* a bit hard goal! I've got my perfectionism my severe depression 'cause of my loneliness my OCD which makes me procrastinate things more than get them done my total confusion & hesitation at imperfection & no-sense-of-control of my data my backing up from any goal I put or start 'cause of my depression, sense of imperfection, & oversleeping ...

But I've also got God got some good things in me that I'm trying to make them get the better hand on my conduct got PC got Stephen King novels got my perseverance got my will to learn more about my mind, how it works & how it pushes me on or hurdles my progress to be able to get more control over it as I pass more years in this puzzle of a life ...

I've written on a paper with colorful letters (of course in Arabic) "I put my trust in God I will finish Master's before I complete 30 years". I'm also drawing boxes of 52 weeks coming, to check off every week when it passes, & get a sense of my time-left!

I hope anybody here who has a goal set for one year to work out this goal together with me, 'cause I'd love to have a company in achieving this goal. Anyway, I'm gonna "create a thread", yes, hear that OCD?! every while to update you with my progress... Really hope I do it this time, & not back up like my OCD makes me most of the time!

So... I put my trust in God I will finish Master's before I complete 30 years... ^_^

Nice post. I think you will do it! Congrats on creating a thread! It's the little things... One step at a time.

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Happy birthday! It sounds like you have a great plan and I hope you finish your Master's in time for your 30th

Happy Birthday, Nushi!

Thank you SO MUCH ChangingMyMind, hvert, & ArthurDent for your encouragement

Yes, ChangingMyMind... it's really the little things that add up together, one step at a time...

I've studied well the past 2 days, & I've got 363 days left Pray for me my OCD doesn't make me fall down on the way...

And Happy Christmas to you all, I know that you celebrate Christmas now in America. I truly wish you all happy & unique holidays this year

Good Luck nushi!!!

Thank you dear GreenMoss