I have figured it out

I'm a loner.

Not in a bad way, I just really enjoy having time to myself. I know for a fact I'm not getting enough of that these days.

At work I have clients coming at me from every different angle. At home I have my boyfriend whom I live with.

I grew up an only child and discovered at a very young age how to make my own fun alone. I really enjoyed figuring out how to play by myself, do things independently, etc. Now, one of my favourite things to do is go to a restaurant alone, just to enjoy the setting by myself.

Right now, I am completely alone. It feels amazing. I love just sitting here listening to the silence. It feels so great. I need more of this. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't get this, and often feel insulted. If I were to tell my boyfriend that I really want to do something by myself, he would probably be insulted. In fact, the one time I hinted at it, he was. I was accused of not wanting to spend time with him and his family, I got a massive guilt trip, etc. Sometimes we will be apart doing our own thing and he will call me four times over the course of that period.

So, my first step is to find a way to find time to be alone, to do things alone. And to shut my phone off.

if you want to be happy in life, you are going to have to find a way to get this alone time without feeling guilty or like you have offended anybody. a good thing to do is to explain it to friends and boyfriend just as you have here, but not when they are wanting to do things with you cause then they may see it as an excuse and be offended. wait till such a time that you are together and chatting about yourselves. then bring it up as if it were a quirk you have, like "something people dont understand about me is that i really need my alone time...." add that you dont mean to offend by wanting to be alone, it is just who you are. presented this way, they are likely to be more understanding of your situation. take care

Thanks. I'm so tired of feeling guilty.

None of us should feel guilty for being happy!

Sounds like finding a new better balance between being in solitude and with others will be the key. One of them.

Moi aussi, and so are millions of others, we need time to ourselves to replenish our energy. If we don't we suffer.

Men I think are more readily accepted as loners, women it seems to me have a harder time as there is a cultural expectation of not being a loner. I might be wrong but that is how I have seen it.