Twin Wins™: Advances Get the Award; Set Backs get an Obit

Revu2 · Feb 22, 2023, 10:26 AM

Good vibrations ... today flip the switch on positive expectations ... use imagination, example stories, random stuff to keep expectations high.

I'm talking about

Revu2 · Feb 26, 2023, 11:14 AM

Try: I am a lucky person and today will be a lucky day!

I can be even luckier in the future.

I deserve good luck and I will receive some luck today.

mine: I'll have to content myself with being luckier than I deserve. (nod to Jane Austen).

Revu2 · Feb 27, 2023, 09:47 AM

Setting lucky goals. Gentle & reachable.

Main areas: work, health, relationships, self care, peer 'talk story.'

Lucky goal #1 - Would LOVE to get a Daily 5 min talk story partner. Have been without a steady, reliable and equally into it partner for this for years. I have spotty sessions but nothing as steady as I want.

I want to happen magically as any new complexity sends me into tilt.

Revu2 · Mar 01, 2023, 10:16 AM

CBA - divide a sheet, one side costs, other benefits. List, compare, then there you are.

Another method that I've taught is the pro-con balance sheet. Bit deeper as you can cancel off matching parts and arrive at "net" decision keyed to what's left after the elimination round.

Revu2 · Mar 03, 2023, 10:47 AM

Off we go to Stonehenge on day 21 for a live stream of the sunrise there on the summer solstice. Pleasant sort of intermission, with the spirit of centering and declaring our goals at such times goads luck our way.

Day 22, Visualize luck. Not much more to add. Looked at the total views in the last 2 years: 26 people.

Revu2 · Mar 04, 2023, 12:30 PM

aka Seek the Treasure in the Trash

Turning bad luck to good: Tips
1. Think of how things could be worse.
2. Does the unlucky event really matter?
2a. Reframe: from "not the best interview (sad feeling") to "Well, I got in a real-time practice and probably this wasn't a great fit for me anyway."
3. Compare situation to someone seemingly less fortunate.

Revu2 · Mar 05, 2023, 12:39 PM

What great things might happen out of this misfortune.

Own example still leaves a residue of if only hadn't X happened and I could have pulled off my plan.

So, quick summary, I happened to let myself run into overdrive mania and lost $20,000 of money I could not afford to lose manically trading options. I was new to options and had had overwhelming success paper trading. Feeling like Dostoevsky writes of. I commented on this in a book I wrote for boards of directors. Mr. D's comments in red.

Escalating situations resemble gambling. Though a gambler might play dozens of spins of the wheel at the roulette table in an evening, after the initial decision to play at all, subsequent bets are not genuine decisions, merely a continuation of that first commitment. Dostoevsky described this moment before the plunge in The Gambler:

I confess that my heart was pounding in my breast and that I didn’t feel at all cool and detached; probably I had felt for a long time already that I would leave Roulettenberg a different man and that something was about to happen which would radically and irrevocably change my life. I felt that it was bound to happen.

One can see in another Dostoevsky passage what Janis called overestimation:

I believe I had something like four thousand gulden in my hands within five minutes. That’s when I should have quit. But a funny feeling came over me, some sort of desire to challenge Fate, an uncontrollable urge to stick my tongue out at it, to give it a flip on the nose.

Note the “funny feeling” Dostoevsky’s gambler gets. Here literature points to a facet of escalation some researchers miss—there exists something in the emotion-action-results process of persistent gambling which feeds a hunger beyond material success or failure. The gambler, confronted with losing at the wheel, dice, horses, cards, etc., confronts reality’s mismatch to his or her intense feelings of confidence. He or she attempts to regain both the confident feeling of precognition and external success by increasing his or her betting. The gambler continues until all is lost.

Yup. From this crash, I secluded myself as much as I could manage and keep earning money. Externally, just a few people knew of my disastrous trading. BUT, Phoenix guided me to looking at drastically saving money. My original intent was to trade well enough to pay off the mortgage and then keep trading to save enough to travel the world. Well, I abandoned traveling the world and focused closely on paying off the mortgage.

It was then I noticed a flue in the financial patchwork (system grants too much thought to the interactions of financial organizations). Our main mortgage (mtg) was $130 K. Our secondary mortgage line of credit was $50K. What if we pulled out $80K from our savings (including retirement accounts) and paid down the $130 K to $50 K. Then borrow the $50 K from the secondary mortgage, pay off the main mortgage to $Zero, and pay back the 2nd mtg as fast as we could. The 2nd mtg had 2 great features: 1) the total was lower so any interests added would be lower; and 2) the interest rate was lower as well.

Well, we did all of that, after acknowledging we were screwed if a dramatic life event needed lots of money.

Two funny things happened. First when we deposited the $80,000 against the main mtg our credit union gave us a friendly call. Apparently they had never seen anyone do that before and wanted to double check.

After another 3 years of paying down the principal on the 2nd mtg, we went to the credit union for the last payment. Apparently, interest accrued by the second, so we had a couple of funny rounds where our transfer to pay it off returned with a few pennies of balance still due. We had to say, figure out the final balance in 5 minutes, and pay that. They said next time to give them a heads up and they would have it figured out before we arrive. Next time? Not in this lifetime!

Monthly housing payments before paying it off: $900 a month for 18 remaining years. Minimum payments for the 2nd mtg paydown: $160 per month. Monthly payments now: zero. We're still on the hook for property taxes which run under $80 a month because we qualify for the lower income exemption/benefit.

So, Phoenix, thank you.

Revu2 · Mar 06, 2023, 09:30 PM

This day for review. Currently I'm feeling lucky in these ways.

Lucky I'm here. Walking & waking under my own powers.
Lucky I get chances to excel.
Lucky I connected with a film critic who has invited me to a class on film criticism.
Lucky that the Annual conference for writers, AWP, is in my home town again. 16000 writers. It requires steady stamina and intentional bed times (which I usually don't bother with).
Lucky today that I stumbled upon an historical novel about Hamilton's wife. Which gave me an idea for what to write about at a scene writing workshop I plan to attend at the conf.
Lucky that my brother knew my mother's finances very well and has been dealing swiftly with sharing out the estate. Wasn't our experiences dealing with our dad's money.
Lucky I trust myself to handle tax returns and so have finished my partnership's and my own for 2022.

Revu2 · Mar 07, 2023, 08:27 AM

Used the orange circle in the middle of two sets of black circles. One was inside BIG black dots, and the other inside small black dots. They do look different. A way to show that how one sees an event guides how one thinks about luck.

Revu2 · Mar 08, 2023, 10:34 AM

1. Assume you Can Do something.
2. Do something NOW about the challenge.
3. Build a menu of options of what to do (search, talk, doodle)
4. Select best options for you
5. Begin and keep on with small steps.

Enjoy the trip back to the land of Good Luck.

Revu2 · Mar 12, 2023, 12:10 PM

Shamash is returning to the 4 principles to close out. Today was the First:

build a network
take a more relaxed attitude to things/life
open self to new experiences.

Revu2 · Mar 14, 2023, 01:13 PM

No Sound! Thought something was off with my computer.

Slides, though: Listen to hunches; take steps to boost intuition.

Revu2 · Mar 14, 2023, 01:19 PM

Lucky people expect to be 'fortunate' in the future. Think that things will work out for them or possibly things could have been much worse. Have a go at achieving their goals even if chances of success appear slim.

Expect to get on well with others.
Try affirmations ... today is going to be another lucky day.
Set lucky goals, short, medium, and long term lucky goals.
If luck is on my side ... I have a good chance.
Pro/Con Balance sheet (cost-benefit analysis).
Visualize good fortune

Revu2 · Mar 15, 2023, 10:37 AM

Let's roll off this series with these tips:

Lucky people see the beneficial side of bad luck
Lucky people believe ill fortune will turnaround for the best
Lucky people don't dwell on bad luck
Lucky people take steps to make bad luck a one-off event

And with this, I'm recharged to get luckier. So far, I've met 2 fantastic young women, one who wanted to hold a film discussion group and another who is convening regular groups to discuss the I Ching.

I'm lucky to have a past of serious activism facing off against people given enormous powers by the mishmash: politicians of various sorts and greedy corporation leaders.

I'm lucky to trust my own ability to make sense of laws, codes, rulings, and structures.

I'm lucky that for anything I want to do there's a blog, podcast, and book about it.

Goodbye luck series, hello LUCK!

Revu2 · Jun 15, 2023, 11:07 AM

Awoke with a rare span of time to reflect while still in bed. Cataloged all the ways I feel exhausted. An exhausted list of exhausting. A tired list of fatiguers.

After some deep breathing, I invited Spirit to offer some ways to cope: and it did. Here are some:

1. Welcome all Helpers and Assistants.
2. Set when to stop on a task: a. get to a base. b. covered a distance. c. time runs out.
3. Hide the Rest. (like the pun on this one). Pad my planning with a fatter buffer. Say I have a meeting @ 7 pm and travel time is about an hour. Leave 2 hours before and 'rest while in motion' for an hour. Find a coffee shop to read an article. Get off the bus a stop or 2 before or after the one I need and walk about. Take an unusual path to get to where I'm going. Sit on a park bench and breathe.

Revu2 · Jun 25, 2023, 11:46 AM

Turning 70 in December. Letting go of so much, a party is due (and Julene has complained that we don't throw any.

Theme: abundance.
Location: The Central
Music: DJ Cliff
Food: Lakesa Oases
When: Saturday after Earth Day, 2024
Charge: $20 to count you in for food buying, Give $55 in Chinese style, but custom Red Envelopes.
Don't want or need the $ - put in a barrel for ...
Ideal # of People: 55 naturally

Grand visions for this new abundance era: Games (bridge includes), Arts (including design), Friendships. What pins me to the floor: not fully clear, but in the zone of Time, Yucks, Death, or Riptide. I like Riptide.

Eight days of stealth while this mills about gaining weight.

Revu2 · Aug 22, 2023, 12:04 PM

Riffing off "I'm turning pro!"

I'm turning
back to being childlike
to being an amateur
to being a beginner
to being a mistake maker
to being a repeat attempter/ repeat tryer ... a do it againer

Revu2 · Dec 24, 2023, 12:15 PM

Last pieces of work to retire completed 2 days ago, on Friday. I made it! I can make my own changes the love of my time. I have 4 for now:

A. Fair Speaking (making my demeanor more alluring, less grating, zero "I know better.")

B. Generosity.

C. Doodling

D. I smile in my space (make space)

Re: Fair speaking. Found this piece from Tricycle by a mom's effort to stay in Right Speech with her teenage son. This work is a skill and practice, so prepare for cycles of effort, and adjustments.

Artistic ideas now are to make a Kaipa Pyramid and print a 2 sides 8-fold booklet to carry about: inside will be the KP, and the book will be reminders from my process of making it. Something to show for my efforts.

Revu2 · Aug 26, 2024, 12:48 PM

Less Penguiny's definition: “Bragging is personally imposing what-you-believe-to-be-status-elevating thoughts on your audience.”

1. The Bare-Bones Brag is directly telling your audience of Your Greatness. No effort at deniability is made; the brag is served raw without any need for inference on the audience’s behalf.

Robin Hobb: “The person who must brag for themselves knows that no one else will.”

Aw, dang it, I'm guilty. It's so interesting most of the articles and quotes key to the speaker's imputed insecurities, spoken by someone in the audience. Doesn't quite match me, I'm boasting because I feel great and want people to know. After all, they were not there. Found a quote about fools bragging and wise folks staying quiet. And research I saw supported that keeping a positive secret ADDS to a sense of strength. Implying that sharing a positive secret is a weakener.

Which might be the sadly on point for me. Right after a brag I'm exposed to out-of-awareness errors, mistakes, or accidents. It has always felt like I was being punished for being good at something.

I have always attributed that to my father's withholding support for my interests if they failed to align with his or his peers approval. What would people think? And there was the silence around "routine" high achievement like mAking high grAdes. This little playing with spelling would probably annoy him. He would move to correct me. What if people thought I didn't know how to spell?

I have to deliberately ignore, work around, or push pass this inner restricter, and when I break through, which is hard work and thus rare, I'm excited about it and want to run to my daddy and have him say, "Great. Good Job!" and pin the freaking picture up on the fridge.

That child in me is "bragging" seeking dad's, or anyone's, ready and instant approval. Oddly, only a handful out of a hundred "get me" when I do that and feed me what I'm needing. I forget, therefore, and "brag" to audiences who don't care and are likely put off and therefore "cut me down" to size. A tactic of my dad used as well. Hey, folks (dad), I'm pre-cut to "size" already. Put the ax away. But they don't.

So the counter-weight to this is people who feel insecure and smaller when hearing of someone's achievement as a boast or brag. Rather than looking inward and dealing with their emotions, they "cut" or belittle, or one-up the alleged braggart.

Revu2 · Aug 29, 2024, 10:54 AM

2. One Up Brag—the ME Monster. “The one up brag is a real stinker.” And might shut down the whole topic.

Remedy: When feeling an urge to “top,” switch on stronger listening, praise the speaker and probe for a richer sharing.

This is much easier for me because of my drilling in "pacing" from neuro-linquistic programming (NLP). It's staying level with the speaker.

Guilty, but it's not a violation.

source prompt before I forget: The Best Article Ever Written about Bragging.

Revu2 · Aug 30, 2024, 10:09 AM

3. Reciprocating Brag. Both One Up and Reciprocating brags are triggered by status-conferring statements. But the goal of this brag time is to show in a comparable league. Might put the original speaker at ease (pacing).

This style, rather than being status promoting (or trying to), is status matching. Observe if the original speaker One Ups again or "stays on the level."

Revu2 · Aug 31, 2024, 11:14 AM

4. Bullkokka Brag. “There need not be a blatant, bald-faced lie for a brag to amount to a Bullkokka Brag; within its scope falls a variety of omissions and misdirections.”

“Smell kokka when one's bragging.” ― Toba Beta

I have a bag of these (well, maybe 1 that comes to mind). These are fun. This is also possibly a cultural matter, as some social styles practically demand exaggeration and hyperbole. That's merely the ante to stay in the convo.

Donald Byrd is a legendary dancer noted for his flair and demands placed on his dancers. During a break in one of his performances he asked for volunteers to step on stage and share a joke with a racial or ethnic bias in it. The performance, I should add, was about minstrel shows.

I'd just heard one and after I paused to recall the punch line, I volunteered. He waved me forward. So ...

A. I've performed under the direction of Donald Byrd.
B. I've performed on stage at one of our city's stellar regional theaters.
C. I performed a solo.

A good response is what I'm feeling now—Yeah, right.

Revu2 · Sep 02, 2024, 02:14 PM

5. Out of Nowhere Brag. Jarring brags not connected to context or topic. Rare. Social media built from the ground up for OONB.

Score partial guilt. I sometimes nudge the convo in a direction where my brag might be fitting. Say, as is my current case, I might ask, "anyone have travel plans?" and then share what my plans are. Partly I do this, not to brag, but to get tips and leads.

Revu2 · Sep 05, 2024, 12:19 PM

6. Show Off Brag. The ‘show-off-don’t-tell’ approach. Many examples everyday when there’s money involved, like buying a round of drinks.

Not too prone to do this as my skill sets are slow and solo. Like writing. "Hey everybody, watch me pull this grant proposal out of thin air." And 3 weeks later, Voila!

Revu2 · Sep 06, 2024, 12:52 PM

My first look I noticed 17 styles of bragging. Now in the 7th round Less Penguiny piles 4 under the #7 mark:
7a. Humblebrag. Status-upgrade
comment that is masked as a
complaint or "hard choice."

7b. Congratulatory Brag. Insincere impression-engineering while the other party is not privy to the conversation.

7c. Expertease Brag. “Freely” offered advice carries the feeling that the Speaker is Expert and the receiver Knows Nothing.

7d. Public Thank You Brag. Broadcast via social sites rather than through private channel.

These all have an element of abuse of default public attention. I'm most guilty of 7c Expertease Brag (my term). It feels hard to damp down, I mean what did I put in all that time and attention riding experiences, reading, listening, and digging into the literature? It's quite costly arranging for a legit audience when what I have to add is just a sentence or 2. Or a poem. Or a joke. Or a better precision about the facts or data. Or odd research that leads to a variant conclusion.

Sometimes the accusation jumps from my sense that I know 1 or 2 things to "He's a Know-It-All!" [KIA] And "You're different, not everybody blah-blah-blah."

MY KIA syndrome nudges me to "share what I know." Awk! Here's a blog on it.

They write: "The fact is, I’m never as smart as I think I am."

Well, I see a chance to practice tomorrow, and tomorrow, and ...

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