Distorted Thinking



What is Distorted Thinking?

One of the marvels of the mind is that once we learn to do complex tasks, they can become automatic and unconscious. For example, when you first learn to drive a car, learning to steer, brake, and judge various driving situations requires all of your attention. Eventually, however, driving becomes so automatic that you need pay little conscious attention to the many tasks involved. Even though you are making decisions every minute, you are unaware of most of them. Instead, you listen to the radio or talk to the passengers, giving driving only a casual thought.

Similarly, while growing up, we need to learn which activities are safe and dangerous, what our role is in society, how to achieve the things we want, and how to interact with others. By the time we are adults, most of this learning has become unconscious habit patterns. As we saw in Chapter 3, most of our emotions are triggered by our interpretations of events. The thinking processes that produce these interpretations—as well as the actions we take—are mostly automatic and unconscious, like those involved in driving.

Since these automatic thinking patterns are developed in childhood, some of the reasoning behind them is faulty. But because they become automatic we are mostly unaware of them as we enter adulthood. Thus, everyone uses some faulty reasoning from time to time. Whenever you use a faulty pattern, you misinterpret and, hence, distort the events you are experiencing. Distorted thinking, then, can be defined as any reasoning process that distorts reality. Distorted thinking is also a common source of inappropriate anger. Learning to reduce the amount of distorted thinking you use is therefore a good way to reduce the amount of inappropriate anger you experience.

The first step in reducing your distorted thinking is to become aware of when you are using it. Most of our conscious thoughts take the form of silent conversations in the mind called self-talk. Thus, you can identify the various forms of distorted thinking you use by noticing specific words or phrases are present in your thoughts or speech.

While different types of distorted thinking sometimes overlap, memorizing specific labels for each form is very useful. The reason this approach is effective is due to what I call the “new car” principle: When you first buy a new car, you suddenly notice cars of the same make as yours wherever you go. It’s as if suddenly hundreds of them are everywhere, when prior to your purchase there were none. Actually they were always there—you simply didn’t notice them before. But because you put so much time, thought and effort into selecting this particular car, your mind now tends to notice this type of car wherever you go. A similar phenomenon happens when you identify different forms of distorted thinking. Taking time to memorize their labels and definitions helps you become aware of when you are using them, which in turn allows you to challenge them and replace them with more rational and realistic thoughts. As you become skilled at doing this, you will find it a powerful tool for reducing this common source of inappropriate anger.



Common Forms of Distorted Thinking

Should/Must Thinking: The transformation of personal choices, wants, or preferences into universal absolutes. This is usually done by thinking in words and phrases such as “should,” “must,” “ought,” and “have to.”

Examples: “I have to get an A.” “People should be fair.” “I have to be on time.” Should/must thinking also can be expressed indirectly through:

Circular questioning: The repeated asking of questions that are irrelevant or have an answer you already know but are unwilling to accept.

Common examples include “Why am I like this?” “Why can’t I change?” “How could he/she do that?” and “How could that happen?”

Circular questions are the result of hidden should/must rules: “Why am I like this?” = “I shouldn’t be like this, Why can’t I change?” = “I should change” “How could he/she do that?” = “He/she shouldn’t do that” “How could that happen” = “That shouldn’t happen”

Can’t thinking: The use of the word “can’t” to describe a need, want, decision, or choice.

Examples: “I can’t give presentations” = “I don’t like to give presentations” “I can’t control myself” = “I don’t want to control myself”

All-Or-Nothing Thinking: The tendency to evaluate personal qualities and events in extreme, black-and-white categories. This is often expressed with the words “right,” “wrong,” “good,” and “bad.”

Examples: A child breaks something and a parent says “Why are you so bad?” A friend disagrees with you and you think “It’s not right to think that way”

Overgeneralization: The transformation of a single negative event into a never-ending pattern of defeat or misfortune. Often this is done by using words like “never,” “always,” and “every.”

Examples: “Why does this always happen to me?” “I’m never going to get it right.” “I always seem to screw-up”

Common variation:

Labeling: The use of simplistic and usually negative labels to define yourself or your behavior that exaggerates the importance of shortcomings or mistakes. “I’m so stupid.” “I’m such a loser.” “What a geek.”

Magnification/Minimization: Magnification includes two types of exaggerations: catastrophizing, the exaggeration of personal flaws, small negative experiences, and mistakes; and the exaggeration of the abilities of others.

Examples: “How awful.” “Jim is so much better than I am at this. (When this is not true)” “I can’t stand it.”

Minimization, sometimes called discounting, also comes in two forms: the depreciation of personal strengths, abilities, or achievements; and the depreciation of mistakes and imperfections in others.

Personalization: The act of assuming responsibility for a negative event when there is no basis for doing so.

Examples: “I should have known that would have happened.” “If only I would have done things differently (when something you have no control over happens)”

Mind Reading: Assuming what other people are thinking or feeling with little or no evidence to support the assumption and no attempt to confirm or deny the assumption.

Examples: “John must think I’m stupid.” “They’re all thinking I’m making a fool of myself.” “Everyone thinks I’m a jerk.”

Fortune Telling: Making a prediction and then convincing yourself it is an already established fact.

Examples: “I know I’ll blow this interview. (When a person is prepared but nervous)” “This relationship will never last (When there is no evidence of this)”

Accepting Questionable Sources as Authoritative: Accepting as reliable an opinion or advice colored by vested interest, ignorance, lack of experience, or prejudice.

Examples: “I guess Sara is right (When Sara knows nothing about this issue)”

Emotional Reasoning: The use of emotions as the primary or only means for evaluating a situation, event, or beliefs.

Examples: “I feel so out of place. I guess I really don’t belong.” “I feel so crazy. I must be insane.” “I feel like such a fool. I guess I’m a real nobody.”



Journal Examples Illustrating How to Challenge Distorted Thinking

Example 1

Incident
My girls were playing in the front room on a rainy Saturday afternoon. I walked in and saw one balancing on one foot on a chair trying to reach something high on a bookshelf.

Thoughts
Look at what she’s doing, she’s going to pull all the books off the shelf, spill them on the floor and ruin them. Then she’s going to fall down and break her neck. These children don’t have any sense at all. I’ve got to watch them day and night.

Rational Challenge
Look at what she’s doing, she’s going to pull all the books off the shelf, spill them on the floor and ruin them. Then she’s going to fall down and break her neck. — This is catastrophizing. While she may damage something and hurt herself, she’s got more ability than I often giver her credit for. What really triggered my exaggerated reaction was my fear because there was a small but real danger in what she was doing.

These children don’t have any sense at all. — This is negative labeling and minimizing. Actually, both girls are very smart. However, they’re just children and don’t know all of the things I sometimes expect them to know. Times like these are an opportunity to teach them how to do things more safely.

I’ve got to watch them day and night. — This is another magnification based on my fears. I don’t have to watch them every minute. In fact, I’ve left them on their own lots of times and they do well. While the way in which she was trying to get the book was dangerous, the truth is that she probably would have been fine. I probably wouldn’t have even known what she did if I hadn’t had walked in at that moment.

Plan
I’m going to talk with my girls about how to get things and what is and is not safe.

Example 2

Incident
I was at my parent’s house with my brothers helping with yard-work and doing some minor repairs. I made a mistake and my brothers made fun of me.

Thoughts
I can’t stand it when they do this. Why don’t they leave me alone. Everyone’s always picking on me. They just wait for me to fall on my face so they can stand there and laugh at me. It just isn’t fair.

Rational Challenge
I can’t stand it when they do this. — This is magnification. I can stand it when this happens. In fact I “stood it” very well. I just didn’t like it. What was happening was I was embarrassed.

Why won’t they leave me alone. — This is one of those disguised “should/Must” rules = They should leave me alone and not embarrass me. While it would be nice if everyone treated everyone else with kindness and respect, that does not always happen in the real world.

Everyone’s always picking on me. They just wait for me to fall on my face so they can stand there and laugh at me. — First of all, this is a magnification. “Everyone” isn’t always picking on me. This is a pattern that is primarily between me and my brothers. While it is true that we do a lot of kidding that can sometimes be pretty mean, we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to any one of us. In fact, we’d be the first to help and defend each other. They’re really on my side. This is just a negative pattern from when we were kids.

It isn’t fair. — This is a true statement. Life isn’t fair. My statement in this case was simply a wishing for things to be different.

Plan
I need to remind myself that my brothers will probably kid me like we did when we were kids before I see them. I can also remind myself to focus on what I’m going to do rather than focusing on how unfair something is. If I don’t like what they’re saying, I can change the subject and remind myself of the things I’ve written above.





from http://www.rpeurifoy.com/anger/distthnk.htm

[Fuzzybear]

Good post Rainbowzz, thanks for your thoughtfulness in posting this!

[(JD)]

Here's the index to the chapter in drclay's book on distorted thinking: http://psychologicalselfhelp.org/Cha.../chap14_1.html

thanks sky!

Thanks fuzzy!

This is something I have found that I am struggling alot with again lately.

[(JD)]

I think it's important to be aware, as you are rainbowzz, when we are struggling with a particular issue or not. Making notes at the time can be a good way to assist you to figure things out later, when you aren't so involved in the issue. We aren't always at our rational best when we are IN the mix, you know?

[Junerain]

I vote this be a bumper at the top of the Sharing Ideas for Self Thread!!!!!!!

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/

on the topic of distorted thinking this link is a training program of cbt for preventing depression and targets distorted/warpy thoughts...
u sign up for free and go thru the program at ur own pace
it really helped me...
ive done it like three times...

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/index.php

another self help anxiety related site.. same deal free registration...

[drclay]

Learning to correct your own thinking.

I recently got a response from a reader who did a beautiful job of describing how she self-corrects her own thinking that creates problems for her. I thought it might help people who are trying to change their thoughts ... and their mood:

comments: I recently found your book online. I was interested in some of your ideas regarding self help and mental well being. I loved the material and began reading it by skipping around to those segments that I felt could bring me help more quickly. (I know, the instant gratifacation thing.) I read in chapter 14 about irrational thoughts and began playing with questioning my own thoughts.
I began to see the relationship between my thoughts about myself, others and the world in general and the behaviours I displayed based on those thougts.
I decided to put this idea of irrational thought to the test one day when I was shopping in a quilt shop. I was there due to some problem I was having with the material I bought for a quilt I'd be making with my grandaughter. I was buying thread and was afraid to ask the sales person her thoughts about my problem with the material. I mulled around the shop waiting until the sales person was alone. I began to ask myself what I was afraid of. I decided that I was afraid the sales person would think I was a beginner and not able to master the art of quilting. I thought she would think I was stupid. I then began to challange these ideas by asking myself "so what." So what, I am a beginner. So what if she thought I was stupid, it's not stupid to have problems with quilting techniques, even the "Masters" have problems, why shoud I think I wouldn't have problems. I decided that my fears were making me feel physically ill and I didn't like that feeling. In questioning my irrational ideas I got the confidence to tell the sales person that I was a beginner and needed her advice. I was not prepared for the outpouring of help she gave to me with real enthusiasm. The last thing she said to me on my way out the door was, "I'm here most days, I'll be glad to answer any more questions you have if you run into more trouble." The feeling I got when I left was one of relief,(and profound enlightenment.)I didn't feel afraid anymore to admit that at times I need help and shouldn't be afraid to ask for it. I was amazed how my preconcieved ideas led to my fears that affected my behavior.
Thank you so much for this online book. I intend to read it all.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

We all appreciate this person for sharing with us.

Clay