Why is it so bad?

I've been cutting myself for around four years now. I'm in counseling right now (not sure how I feel about it). But what I fail to see is why it's so bad. Just like an eating disorder which my counselor thinks I have; although, I don't think I do. Why is cutting so bad? It's not like I'm hurting anybody else, physically. Same thing with anorexia. Why is it so bad?

((((((((((Broken Wings)))))))))))))))) Your name reminds me of a song... A Broken Wing by Martina McBride. What a sad song...

Anyways! Welcome to PC, glad you found us.

Why is it so bad?

How about thinking of it like this: What would you feel like if a close friend or family member was doing it? Would you want them to stop?

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It's not "bad" but it IS self destructive. It's degrading to your self esteem and it can make you hate yourself (if you don't already). It's "bad" because an eating disorder taken too far, or an accidental cut from self-injury can actually kill you. Also, just because you're not physically hurting someone else doesn't mean they aren't hurt by your actions against yourself. If your friends/family/therapist know about your self-destructive behaviours, then they ARE being hurt by your actions if they care about you. No, that doesn't mean you should stop the behaviour for *them* but hopefully you get to the point where you value yourself and love yourself enough to try to control the negative actions you're doing to yourself.

I don't mean to sound harsh... it IS a good question you're asking, but I do sincerely hope that you try to stop the behaviours and find healthier ways to cope.

From someone who has an eating disorder and SI's I can tell you that it's not about "bad" or "good" - it's about what works and what doesn't to create a life that I want to have that has focus and purpose.

Both SI'ing and ED's are about hurting & hating yourself. When I am acting on them they also provide me with a way to avoid what is going on and focus on hating myself. It rips at the core of self esteem and provides me wtih even more evidence that I am a failure.

You've asked some great questions; the question for you is are you willing to feel the "suffering" that you are going through that causes you to hurt yourself. There are some moments I am and others that I am not. I have found my therapists office to be the safest place to learn to feel and talk about the urges and the shame/hurt/fear etc...

This is tough stuff and for a long time I did not care - I just wanted to react by SI'ing and having an ED. I guess what has changed is that all this energy I put forth could be used in a more positive way and I want that. To explore my creativity w/o feeling like a failure before I even begin. To just feel comfortable in my own skin for a few minutes a day w/o feeling like I don't measure up to.

Even if you are not there yet, don't stop b/c it took me a long time to even consider something new. Thanks for having the courage and insight to ask the quesitons - I hope you will discuss it with your therapist.

I'm new to this site, & your post caught my attention. I'm in outpatient therapy for anorexia, OCD, I have anxiety & low self esteem, & have done self harm. I really don't see what harm there is. I think, "I c** myself, clean it, & put a band-aid on. There's nothing wrong with that!" Now, I certainly wouldn't let someone else I know hurt him/herself! What are some coping skills you can use? My T knows I've hurt myself before, & she & I talked about some things I can do to help, including doing something to help me cope with my ED & OCD.

Please don't hurt yourself! You think you'll feel better, but you really won't. I've felt the same way after I hurt myself.

Wrong. You are hurting yourself. You know full well deep down that you are. ED's can kill, as can SH/SI'ing. I could have died from my SH'ing behaviors before, and many have died unintentionally from it. Many have also died and/or suffer from consequences(possibly for the rest of their life) from their ED. It is damaging to your body, and you could very well suffer from consequences for the rest of your life, like many out there already do.

I've been a SH'er since I was 7.
I've had an ED since I was around 12/13.
Both are damaging.
Physically, emotionally and mentally.