[vacantangel]

I hope I don't offend anybody with my questions, I'm trying to learn about SI. My apologies in advance if I do.

1. Doesn't it hurt?
2. What do you do?
3. Isn't it dangerous?
4. Do you ever have to get stitches? If so, what do you tell them at the ER?
5. Is it done to kill emotional pain? If so, does it work?

Anything else you can tell me to enlighten me would be appreciated. Again, I apologize if I'm offending anyone with my questions. It's not my intention.

[ickydog2006]

I'm not sure how much I should say.
Yes it hurts but it feels good to me. I cut. It is dangerous. I've never had to get stitches. It numbss my emotional pain.
Now for my advice. Don't try it. I found it extremely adictive and want to stop but can't get myself to. It hurts myself emotionaly and others that I really care for. I wish I had never started. It dulls the pain temporarily but only increases it later. Please don't try it.

[Kathyanita]

It is an impulse you shopuld fight against with all your might and all the strength of charector you clearly posess! IT HURTS your self-concept and body, it is demoralizing and it is stigmatizing to get the physical woyunds treated by a confounded ER practitioner. Prayers and peace be with you.

[Rapunzel]

Why do you want to know about si? Believe me, it isn't something you want to get into. It's an addiction, just like drugs or gambling or eating disorders, or any number of things that people do to escape from their real problems and not have to deal with them, but just like all the others, it only makes it worse. It creates new problems, and exacerbates existing ones. It never solves anything. It just alters your feelings for a few minutes. Like a drug would.

Yeah, it hurts. Well, sometimes I'm too dissociated to feel it, and then I'm disappointed. I'm not going to get into methods. Some people have a ritual, and keep mostly to the same thing. I'm creative, and do many different things. Yeah, it can be dangerous. I have never had to have stitches. Never had any medical treatment for any of it, although I spent a very uncomfortable 2 hours in a jail cell with scratches all over my face, and they wanted me to go to the ER after that and I refused. It can temporarily numb emotional pain, but it isn't worth it.

I don't mind answering your questions, but I do not want to contribute to anyone starting this habit. I would feel awful about that.

Take Care,
Rap

[hereiam]

AngelGirl - First off, I think it's really admirable for you to want to be educated on this. Most people aren't, and it's sad considering what an epidemic it's becoming. However, if you are doing this because you are considering trying it or wish to know what its going to be like if/when you do - I'm going to tell you right now DON'T. Not even a little. Not even to test, or to see 'what its like'. Please let us know what your intentions were with these questions, so we don't feel as if we are helping you to begin SI'ing.

I'm going to answer your questions from my personal experiences...

1. Doesn't it hurt?
For me, yes. It does hurt, but the ends justifys the means. When I do it, the pain is something to focus on and have as real. When your mind is going a million different places at once, all you want to do it stop it and focus. Apparently pain does that pretty well. And the relief I get just from having that one thing to focus on...I don't know. It's always been really hard for me to explain. Sorry.

2. What do you do?
For the sake of others and myself, this isn't something to go into. However, if you think about it, it's pretty self explanatory.

3. Isn't it dangerous?
EXTREMELY. But like I said before, you aren't worried about the danger you're causing yourself, you're focused on stopping whatever it is thats so unbearable you can't function. The problem with SI is it gets worse over time, and the injuries become more severe either because the SI'er doesn't know just how badly they are hurting themselves, and to dissociated to feel the pain, or more injuries and/or blood are needed in order to give them the relief they crave.

4. Do you ever have to get stitches? If so, what do you tell them at the ER?
Never had to get stitches. Maybe should have once.

5. Is it done to kill emotional pain? If so, does it work?
For me that's what it's for, and yes, it does work. But it's so completely temporary that it might as well not work at all. The pain will always come back, and the cutter (in my case) will continue to do it until they figure out the real reasons they are doing it in the first place. I guess the easiest way to put it is 'emotional pain' but for the SI'er it's so much more than that. Everyone experiences emotional pain, but the severity combined with the fact that the SI'er simply hasn't learned appropriate coping skills were probably always a disaster in the making.

I hope I helped you, and again, please let us know what your intentions are with these answers. PM me if theres anything else you wish to know.

(P.S. One question you neglected to ask is how you feel afterwards. So I'll ask it and answer it. Immediately, it's relief. Then give it a while (in my case usually the next morning, or sometimes hours from the moment) and you experience shame, guilt, and a couple hard hits to your self esteem. And these feelings are probably just as intense as before you self injured, and that intensity was the reason you self injured. The cycle never ends, and it's horrible. Like I said, never ever ever experiment or try because it'll suck you up and swallow you hole my friend. Self injury giveth, and self injury taketh away.)

[vacantangel]

Thanks for all your replies. Right now, I'm sorry that I even asked anything. I said I wanted to 'learn' about it, I didn't say anything about wanting to do it. I'm sorry y'all found it necessary to question my motives.

[Kathyanita]

sorry we assumed,
its just that we also saw your asking for prayers and then this question here maybe raised some red flags in some minds.

[hereiam]

Angel, don't feel bad about asking at all! It's just sometimes people are curious about it because they want to try it, and want some backround first. Please don't feel bad.

[Rapunzel]

It's ok that you asked. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't contributing to you or someone else getting mixed up with this. I don't mind answering questions about si, in fact, I tend to want to say more than I should, and I don't want to hurt anyone.