[BamaSurvivor]

Thursday at my IOP meeting, we had a new guy come in for treatment and he noticed the scars on my left arm and how deep they were and I could feel him staring at them. During break, we all went out to smoke and he asked if I was a, "freak or something". I know it was ignornace on his part, but it still hurt for him to say that to me. I've wanted to cut every since... It's been awhile since I last cut, but the urge is strong now. It's so easy for me to get a blade since my dad owns his own construction and he keeps blades and sharp objects around all the time. Can't I cut just once? It'll make things so much better.

[silver_queen]

((((((((bama))))))))) try to hold out. I think you wouldn't stop at just doing it once. try to ignore what he said -like you said, he said it from ignorance and that doesn't mean you have to cut because of it.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((((((Bama))))))))))))))))))))))

Bama, don't give someone who is ignorant your power.......hold on..it's your power and you decide what to do with it.xoxoxopat

[BamaSurvivor]

I'm still holding out as hard as it is... I'm scared if the urge doesn't go away and I do end up giving in, I'll go crazy with it as usual because I've deprived myself from it. Maye the urge will pass soon.

it's like me eating that last piece of candy.....just because iknow it's there.....try to distract yourself with something. a walk, anything.....a pet...whatever will help you get your mind off of it.....we're all praying for you and trying to help you.......love, pat

[BamaSurvivor]

Thanks, pat. (((fayerody))) I'm trying.

[izzy07]

You know, I have lots of scars all over my arms, really deep, and it just makes me so bloody angry (ups, no pun intended!) to hear someone call you a freak for cutting. I mean, how stupid can that guy be?!? YOU ARE NOT A FREAK FOR HAVING SCARS ON YOUR ARM. If someone is missing an arm or a leg from a land mine, no one calls him/her a freak. And our scars are battle scars just like that missing limb. Just that they result from internal battles. Oh, how dare he say such a thing!!! He's the freak for being so insensitive. That is so discriminating. It is just not right that we have to go around wearing long sleeves all the time to protect ourselves from foolish remarks like that one. Why can't people just understand? I also have a scar on my neck from reconstructive surgery for a burn a received when I was eighteen months old. It's this long line that stretches across my neck and you wouldn't believe how many times people like that guy have come up to me wanting to know the details of my "slitting my throat". That has resulted in me wearing turtlenecks nine months out of the year. People are so biased and want to know things that are really absolutely none of their business, judging us without knowing any of the facts. Who do they think they are? I hope you can gather enough strength and courage to tell this guy how much he offended and hurt you. (I'm sorry I rambled on like this, but stories like yours just enrage me so much I can't hold back any longer)

[BamaSurvivor]

kate, thank you for your concern, and you are right... Ours are battle wounds, too... I may just say something to him. I'll try to contain my language when I do. Thank you!