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#1
Sep 07, 2009, 11:51 AM
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That is all I can say. I feel guilty and afraid. I feel like I will be judged and if someone finds out, I will no longer be accepted. They do not understand the pain. They do not understand what I am holding. They do not know what I am going through. A failure. That is what I am. Fighting for so long, but still.......................................................
.............................................................................................. .............................................................................................. ............................................................................i am sorry. |
 ADHD1956
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#2
Sep 07, 2009, 12:18 PM
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You needed a way to cope DPS, that is all....... Still here with you.......
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Sep 07, 2009, 02:51 PM
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(((DPS)))
You are not a failure....you are still in there fighting and helping other people at the same time. You are good and wonderful and beautiful!! Sending you hugs and good thoughts.
__________________
[SIGPIC[/SIGPIC]  Susan
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#4
Sep 08, 2009, 05:49 AM
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((((Sannah)))) Thank you. I love you friend. ((((Susan888))))Thank you my friend for your support and understanding. I love you. dps |
| Sannah
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#5
Sep 08, 2009, 02:55 PM
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(((((((((darkpurplesecrets))))))))))) It's ok, everyone makes mistakes and everyone gets emotional. I hope that you are doing better today. Have you talked with your therapist yet??? If you need to vent, please do. I hoep that you are doing better today. Hugs  dance59326 
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment" Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#6
Sep 08, 2009, 05:02 PM
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Quote:
When one is learning to walk one falls down numerous times but eventually learns to do it. SI I think is like this because at least for myself I kept falling down and had a hard time getting up (all that shame etc) but once I learned how to get up I kept trying until I no longer SI . You fell down. Now you need to learn to get up. I don't think you are a failure. You are very articulate with your words and obviously very bright. It might be time to enter treatment or if you are in treatment meet with your pdoc and tell him/her about the difficulties you are having. Things can get better than this. This is just one bad thing . I am sure with time , the proper care and support you will get better.
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#7
Sep 08, 2009, 05:42 PM
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Quote:
the line that really stood out to me is "They do not understand what I am holding. " For me that was the key that helped me "what I was holding"--couldn't let go of........ the secrets and the holding of them was very harmful to me. the tighter i held on, the worse it got. couldn't say the words couldn't express them just held the memories and the feelings... did get treatment when i got to the end of my rope so bound by "don't tell..." Once i finally DID tell, did talk, did open the door it slowly got better. what worked was to write a letter to my T (ripped up a few dozen in the process....  )once she understood and knew she was able to help. able to listen able to help work out a plan Just my thoughts
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#8
Sep 09, 2009, 12:53 AM
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((((((((DPS)))))))) ...you are such a special person who help so many of us here. Please don't be so hard on yourself, friend. Please save some of the love, care and understanding you give us all for yourself.
I Love You ((((((((DPS))))))))
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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