I did very bad

I just sliced up my thighs...

& i'm a mess....

(((((((((((((((Eva))))))))))) Please take care of yourself. I love you and I am concerned.

no Eva -- stop doing that! (( eva ))

((((((((comp))))))))ty ..luv you too

LMo...I'm trying...went to chat to be with ppl to try to help.

(( LMo ))

eva, please, please don't cut yourself again.....stay in chat with people and talk through this. i'll be thinking of you.....pat

aww (((eva))) i hope you start to feel better and remember to talk to us if possible xxx

trying not to pat..thnx

thnx ((((dog)))))

((((((eva)))))))

I hope you are feeling better and managing to resist. You're in my thoughts.

Claire

((((((claire))))))))

starting to get harder

((((((((((((((Eva))))))))))))))

Stay safe dear one!
nightdream

(((((((nightdream)))))))))

You can do it, i believe you can Eva.

I am a complete mess ... what is triggering me...is happening all over again

What have you watched on tv today, or listened to on the radio? What have you been thinking about lately? What is worrying you? Do you have something you are supposed to do this week? Were you supposed to do something already and you haven't? Have you been reading about anything specific? Can you tell us what your thoughts have been? That's about the only way I know to find triggers... if they're happening while home.

eva, i hope you're feeling better now. i'm thinking about you.....xoxo pat

(((eva)))

We are all here for you.I hope you are doing better.

max

((((( kax ))))))ty

((( pat )))))ty

Sky .. no none of those ... someone in my life threatened suicide and it was directly to me ..and it was in a fight and i didn't know what to do ..and the police had to be called..it's a mess

ah yes that would do it. Sorry (((hugs)) I misread and thought you didn't know what triggered you... be safe!

the thighs...OUCH! I am a fellow self mutilator, I would like to think in recovery. I tried to cut on my legs once, Ouch, ouch, OUCH...and the things, that really cringes me.

It's very difficult for people who do not self mutilate to understand the compulsion behind the act. They can just cry and find relief however, we are the ones who have no tears to cry only blood to spill.Our relief is in finiding that we truly are human and can feel something. It cracks me up when I used to cut and I hear about it later and hear "I remembered when you tried to killyourself in the bathroom" This is funny to me how it is percieved. Regardless, there is support for us out there. Although, it doesn't help with the compulsion.

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO QUIT, YOU CAN! That is the good news. But you have to be wiling and ready to give it up. It's almost like going through that darn twelve step program. Admit you are powerless to SI and recognize that it is not healthy, no matter how calming it is, it is none the less UNHEALTHY.

What helped me was when I feel the urge is to write it out. To write it down as if it were happening only in my mind. To not forget one detail. To include the reasons why. This way instead of cutting up my arms and having to hide the cuts and feel the annoying itching afterward, I can just peek at my writing and feel it there. Plus the writing never fades. It's almost like a picture of the SI only in words. I don't know.

My little brother also cuts on himself and I have told him to try to write it out. Apparently he says it also works for him. He was cutting on his face and all over...so I REALLY hope it helped him.

For me, I havent cut for awhile. Not because I haven't wanted to but because I want to be strong for me and for others like me. If it is possible for me to stop, it has to be possible for you to stop. Just the same in vise versa. IT depends on the person and finding a different release. Try writing it down. That is my suggestion.

I wish you the best of luck. Keep us updated. It's not an easy thing to deal with and few on the outside understand. Even on the inside. But remember you have the power to stop. you are ultimatly the one in control, even if you don't feel like you are. TAKE THE POWER BACK.....

(((((( sky )))))))))

((((((((( vulgerlove )))))))))

Ty for what you wrote...I read it, but it was hard to digest ...this suicide issue is too much for me right now. Things got much worse last night that the si is the last thing on my mind. I do know you have good points it's just i can't think about that now. I will go back to that when I can though.

Thanks you for taking the time out though.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
It's very difficult for people who do not self mutilate to understand the compulsion behind the act. They can just cry and find relief however, we are the ones who have no tears to cry only blood to spill.Our relief is in finiding that we truly are human and can feel something. ..... Regardless, there is support for us out there. Although, it doesn't help with the compulsion......
What helped me was when I feel the urge is to write it out. To write it down as if it were happening only in my mind. To not forget one detail. To include the reasons why. This way instead of cutting up my arms and having to hide the cuts and feel the annoying itching afterward, I can just peek at my writing and feel it there. Plus the writing never fades. It's almost like a picture of the SI only in words. I don't know.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

<font color="blue"> I agree with Vul on some things.... I cannot cry when I am in SEVERE pain and SIing is my only way of releasing my pain. It is the way I can FEEL....There is HELP for you out there but yet is DOES NOT help with the urges at all....this I know first hand... My T has me journaling right now....I write all my feelings down emotions and all and keep writing and writing until I cannot write anymore....write anything that comes to my mind down about how I am feeling...sometimes it helps and sometimes it does NOT help...but I take my journal into my T and I read it to him and it helps him to understand how I was and am feeling. So journaling can help even if it does not help at the very moment for the SIing............The Cutting on your legs can be ouchy I know..........so I ......well I cut on the top of my thighs where if I wore shorts it would still be covered...yes it is ouchy but I do not think of that at the moment of doing it...Just know your NOT alone and I TOTALLY understand where your coming from and if you ever need to talk just PM me anytime...take care...{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}</font>