[Silverette]

Every day, another lie, another excuse. Cutting, slashing, ripping my skin. Lying to run and running to lie. They don't know the truth, it's too obvious though. How can something feels so bad, feel so good? The pain is inevitable, but the feeling is worse. I feel so low and disgusted, how do I get over this? Will I ever survive?

How do you stop something, you know you can't? You're strong on the outside, but no one sees the real you, hidden inside.

[hereiam]

(((((((silverette)))))))

You stop something that you know you can't alone by seeking some help. Then you don't have to be strong on the outside only...you can be strong on the inside too.

[Silverette]

That's the thing, I can't GET help.

[hereiam]

Tell us WHY you can't get help. We can't help you if you don't open up...you're only hurting yourself this way.

[(JD)]

It feels so good because it is replacing a feeling of something you can't control.. with something you think you are controlling... and isn't a good coping skill.

You can get help. You're getting help right here, in fact.

Welcome to psychcentral... talk to us.

[Silverette]

I can't get help because not only would it break my mom and dads heart, my family can afford to do that.

[hereiam]

Mom and Dad don't have to know. Trust me, I've been there - done that. They don't have to find out!

As for the money issues, sometimes T's can do a sliding scale. What about a school counselor?

[Silverette]

Out of school until August 10th. Thought of that, trust me.

[Miss_A]

It's hard but soon or later it will get harder if you don't stop cutting yourself. People do care even if they don't show it. I want to let you know that maybe going to your GP (doctor) and saying how you feel like depressed and how long he/she could refer you on to medication blanking your thoughts out with the nevgitive things. I hope that it will help you.

[Silverette]

That would help, if my family actually had a doctor. No one in my family actually needs one, so I never have had a single, same doctor for more than a month or two. So that's out.

[hereiam]

Walk-In Clinics?

You seem to be ruling out any and everything we're saying...we're trying to help you out, Silverette. How about taking some of these thoughts into consideration - or brainstorming with them and trying to figure something out?

[Silverette]

Well I'm sorry if it seems like that I am ruling out everything, but I know what I can and can't do for most of these ideas.

[Miss_A]

Silverette it ain't easy to try and give up! But I believe that you CAN do it. First try to get rid of the sharp object as it's no good for you and your worth so much more. Take a safe red marker pen or crappy red eye liner and draw as many lines you want with out the pain, you still get that tingerly feeling going up down your arm. All though the where a elastic band thing is suppose to help you. It is still a self harm thing. But it can limmit the cuts. By wearing it around you wrist then bad thoughts pull and snap it. But I don't believe it will do any good still? Hold ice cever and also cold in your hands. It's your choice if you would tell your parents but the thing is if you know them well, them your know how they would react to the sitituation maybe. Yesitsme didn't me to upset you please let it go. Please try to understand that self harming isn't worth it! {{{{{{{Silverette}}}}}}

[hereiam]

Miss A is right, I didn't mean to upset you. Have you exhausted all ideas of how to get help? Calling a crisis hotline (most are toll-free and anonymous) and asking them for some tips can be very beneficial.

[StargazerLily]

Of course it seems that she's turning down every option we give her. Now, I'm just assuming from the other posts that you're under 18, and you've said you live with your parents. I know, being 16 myself, it doesn't seem like any idea is the right idea because someone will misunderstand, be insulted, offended or whatever. But sometimes you need to think about yourself, all right to be selfish for a minute, and say something. If you don't say something for yourself, someone else always can, and in my experience it's gotten uglier that way than if I would've done something myself. I would suggest going to your parents and trying to explain to them how you're feeling, or go with a friend so it's easier to talk, cause most times parents don't understand. Tell them how you've been feeling, don't *have* to tell them about cutting, but would be wise to not keep secrets. Or you could just talk to a friend, or someone around here to get things off your mind if you aren't comfortable with your parents. There's other online support resources around here online, like a British site..something about Samaritans.

Now, if you do talk to your parents, and you really want help, ask them. If you think they'll take it hard, or blame themselves, they can talk to T also. That's how it went when I was there. Mom and I would have a half hour each, sometimes parents want to hear things from "someone their own age."

Just hope you don't think I'm talking out of my ***, I don't usually post, so sorry. Just one case I thought I could help

[Silverette]

To Yesitsme: I've contemplated calling a crisis line before, I even have the number on my shelf, always there in case of emergencys, but the only reason I've never called was because I don't know what I'm supposed to say. -_-

[Miss_A]

I dunno what more to say, I've only self harmed a couple of times when feeling like everything is my fault! But I can't tell you to STOP IT as that it is not easy too. The only thing I can say is go to resource directory and type up your problem (self harm/self inury) Then you can read loads about it ad it will help, whether you choose to listen to the advice. But your not alone, right at the moment I have friends who are doing this and I'm trying my best to help then. Silverette you are important and your body is. BamaS stopped she WAS a self harmer now she has stopped and she knows that she is worth more! Try talking her, she has done it and now has came out on the clear. Don't give up... their are other ways to cope instead of getting the sharp object. Talk and I will try to listen!

[hereiam]

Silverette - How about telling them that when you call? Just say you're not sure what to say or how to go about this (the phone call) and they'll guide you through it. And StormWarning is also right, if you go online you can find a million ways to stop self harming. It's the actually not doing it anymore that's the hard part.

[(JD)]

Usually it is "easier" to stop something by replacing it with something else. (You know this... like those who used to stop smoking began sucking on a straw or chewing gum?)

Self injury is a coping mechanism, howbeit a not-so-good one. Finding another way to cope instead... might render the best success... at least maybe finding one that doesn't hurt you more. You have been hurt enough.. and don't deserve any of it!

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{silver}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
all I can say is get help while your younger.........I am 47 and have been SIing since i was 14 and the longer you do something the HARDER it is to quit...........so get help now while your still young.....to me it feels so good to finally be in control of something in my life....but yet sometimes it does not even hurt me....that is because I have been doing it for so long.... I would not wish this on anyone....I only wish I could have gotten help when I was younger and maybe I would not be struggling so much with it now being older....
just wanted you to know your not alone....I do understand why you do it and like others have said it is not a good coping way....wish I could say something to encourage you to get help while your still young....you do not want to be my age and still doing it and trying to stop in therapy now....it is hard
take care and keep posting and get those feelings out...that helps me sometimes....