[angie2716]

Ok im not sure how to ask this. Since ive been si free for 6 weeks now. I wanna get a tattoo but i dont know if that would be a sign of si. It will be my first one and i want it to mean something. I want to get a butterfly as a sign of recovering from si. But what if i like the pain from that and i just keep getting the. What do yall think?

[michelle421]

i have thought about this same thing quite a bit... i have been thinking about getting my first tattoo a lot lately. i'm thinking about getting one in the next month as a present for myself for my birthday. i think that it can be related to SI for some people, but it's also different a lot of the time.

i think it's great that you are wanting to do something that is meaningful to you. and because of that, i think it's different from SI. if it will remind you of recovery, i think that's really cool. i think my first one is going to be a treble clef designed from my grandmother's necklace. it will be something meaningful to me.

i am also a bit concerned that i will really like the experience and i will want to do it a lot. but... i also know that it's expensive and takes time. i don't think it's a bad thing to experience that pain in whatever way we do. some people may really disike that feeling, but deal with it anyway. and maybe we are different.... it's just important to know that if you end up making the decision to get one because you are trying to hurt yourself, think about it a little more before you do anything. it's complex. i dont think it's necessarily like SI though.

just take care of yourself! i'm so glad to hear you are 6 weeks SI free!!

[bananna215]

I have 3 tatoos now & all but my 2nd have a very significant meaning to me... my 1st is in memory of my best friend that died in '97 since she was a year older & we were supposed to get our 1st tats together... but she was killed, a year passed, I turned 18, & I combined what both of us had planned to get (a butterfly & a mushroom) and had her initials put beside it. my 2nd is an insignificant memory of getting messed up in college & I wish it weren't there (although I get many compliments on it) & my 3rd represents "new life" after my diagnosis in 2000. all of my tats were post SI, & the thought of associating the 2 never crossed my mind... but I gotta admit the pain didn't phase me at all now that I think about it...

[deliquesce]

i dont have any tattoos, but i do have a lot of piercings. some of them were done as a self harm urge, some were done because i liked the aesthetics of it & had been thinking it over a long time.

i did want to get a tattoo at one stage, did a lot of designing, met with the artist etc but eventually i decided not to & i'm glad i didn't because i don't think it would continue to hold it's meaning for me today.

i wonder if you might be more comfortable starting out with a different symbol of your recovery for the time being? maybe you could get one of those string bracelets with a little butterfly charm on it and tie it around your wrist. and when it eventually breaks off you can re-evaluate whether you would like the butterfly symbol permanently tattooed onto you. i think it could help put more distance between the time you stopped so you could really be sure it's not a self harm urge thing.

fwiw, however, i'm not averse to pain and i quite enjoyed most of my piercings. but some of them were done because i wanted to self harm, and others were done to fulfill a more long term desire. the only way i've been able to tell the difference is by delaying when i get it and seeing whether the desire is still there later on.

[Mike_J]

I don’t think there is a clear answer to this, different people are going to tell you different thigns, what is important is what do you think?

Some of my SI, I do because I want certain scars in certain places, not much different than a tattoo, scarification is just another form of body art. But I don’t know anyone (including myself) who wouldn’t conceder my cutting myself as anything other than SI regardless of why I was doing it.

It’s your body, it’s your decision, just think before you act.

[Katileena]

I got a tattoo on my wrist last May. It was partially to know the pain associated with getting a tattoo, because I was curious, but it was also to cover my wrist with a pretty image, since I promised myself I'd never cut on my arms again.

Getting the tattoo never triggered me and the pain was never associated with SI...someone else is drawing a design on you...it's nothing like SI (atleast I don't think so). Although I didn't mind the pain, it was painful. But I'm glad I did it, because someday I plan on getting a very large tattoo on my back, and I wanted to know I could handle the pain

[angie2716]

Thank yall for all your replies. Yall have given me alot to think about. I may wait and do that thing with the bracelet with a butterfly and wait a little while longer. And then when i feel the time is right i might go look at a few places.