[TheOrganicAngel]

Hi everyone,

I found this forum while browsing for SI sites and thought this would be a good place to find people who have the same concerns as I do. I hope no one minds if I jump right in by telling a little about myself. As you have probably already have guessed, I am a self-injurer (with OCD, ADD, and BPD), and have been for some time. Knives and razors are my tools of choice, and I tend to cut on places where no one can see (with the exception of my left arm, which is quite scarred and often a topic of awkward conversation with curious people). I'm trying to stop, of course, but the road seems so long and difficult. I like the blood, and I like the pain. *sigh* Perhaps ironically enough, I am a college student studying psychology, and I plan to become a therepist specializing in mental and emotional disorders. I've been checking out some of the discussions on the forum and I hope to be able to add my thoughts and views, too. I think it would be nice to support and be supported, you know? Recovery seems harder alone.

Well, that's my speech. I hope I can make some new friends here, and I wish everyone the best. Take care!

~Alexiel

[jetblackaura]

Welcome Alexiel, I think you'll like it here, it's very friendly and everyone looks out for one another.

Claire

Welcome! Glad you made it here.

[Hope4me2]

Alexiel

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{welcome}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am new here too and you will like it here.
Everyone is so nice and encouraging and helpful and loving....I just can't say enough....I just love this place sure you will too.
Glad you found it......
By the way I SI too so you not alone.........

[hereiam]

Hey there.

I'm also planning on becoming a therapist and going to college for it. Be sure to come by often, as the people are awesome and supportive. Come into chat too if you ever feel the urge - we can help you out!

[Rapunzel]

Hi Alexiel. That's a really pretty name.

You'll like it here. People are very supportive and understanding. Isn't it a good feeling not to be alone? This place was the first time I found other people who SI that I could talk to and who could understand me. I want to be a T someday too. I'm done with my bacherlors in psych, and working (in related jobs), but my T still wants me to wait and work on my own stuff before going to graduate school. It does seem ironic, doesn't it? But at the same time, if we can overcome our own problems, we'll be that much better at helping others since we will know what it takes to change.

[SweetCrusader]

Welcome to psychcentral

I'm also a psych major, planning to be a therapist, with particular interest in trauma, dissociation, and (go figure..) si!

[TheOrganicAngel]

((((Claire, esthersvirtue, Hope4me2, yesitsme, Rapunzel, Ozzie, HallieBeth, SweetCrusader))))

Thanks so much to everyone! I feel really welcomed, and I look forward to getting to know you all. It's so nice to find such a supportive forum and I hope to be able to gain and contribute much to the online community. It's also really nice to find so many psych majors! Yeah, go figure, huh?

{{{{{Hugs to all!}}}}}}

Thanks again!

~Alexiel

[Quay]

Hi, I'm not really new. I've been snooping for a while, but wasn't too sure about sharing yet. I have a question also. I end up bruising myself during the sessions with my T. I've tried not to give in, but lots of times I'm not even aware of it until it starts to hurt or when I look at my arms or stomach after the session. Do other people have this problem also? It's not something I've ever chosen to discuss with my T, although he must be aware it's happening. I would say after working with the same T for 2 yrs it is better than it used to be, but still happens. It's not the only stuff I do, but the only thing I really don't get. Any ideas?? Thanks

[Shadowsinsideme]

hi Alexiel..welcome to the forum. I have been a member here myself for quite some time, but i just recently started posting on this particular forum. I have been SI-ing since i was about 7 or 8. (Im 18 now) though, for now i am pretty much recovered from it--havn't done it in about 4 months.
I also have schizophrenia and depression (but depression has been under control for over a year now) i think you'll find lots of wonderful, supportive people here.

-Becka

p.s--so sorry you are going through so much pain.

[Rapunzel]

Quay, I do that too. I dissociate if something is uncomfortable or difficult to deal with, and therapy usually is. In an attempt to stay present enough to keep up with what we're talking about, my fingernails start digging into my arm. I noticed that I was doing that with my former T, but he never seemed to notice it and I didn't discuss it with him. When I became aware of that habit, I started wearing rings and other jewelry to therapy so that my hands have something to fiddle with. I have mentioned to my current T that I do that, and what I do about it. I know that she noticed me playing with my bracelet constantly the last time I was there, but she didn't mention that. I am sure that she would say something if I were hurting myself in front of her.

The best thing I've found is a magnetic coil bracelet. I unwind it and wrap it around my hand and fingers, etc.

[Quay]

Rapunzel, Thanks so much for getting back to me. That's exactly what I do, stuff like that. I've asked about this stuff lots of places but no one else has ever really acknowledged the question or sounded like they had any idea even what I was talking about. It's so nice to hear I'm not the only one. I'm sure my T is aware of it, but I guess he's waiting for me to bring it up if I want to. I wouldn't really know what to say though cause it's not like something I plan to do, besides if I didn't do something I don't know that I could keep the words coming. They seem to be linked together. It's funny that you mention playing with your bracelet. Yesterday was a tough session, but I ended up sitting with one foot up in my lap. Since it was there, I started digging my fingernails into my sneaker and generally beating on it. I was kind of surprised to realize later on that I don't have a sore shoulder for a change! I don't wear much for jewelry, just my watch, but maybe for me the sneaker is the key. I think I'll try to continue to do that instead of my arm. Thanks.
You guys are great here and I really appreciate you talking to me. Guess I'd better run or i'll be late for work.

I hug the pillow on my T's couch. I pull it, I hit it, I even bite it sometimes. It helps alot. I brought my stuffed dog once cuz I don't want to rip Ts pillow. But she doesn't seem to care about the pillow. As long as I'm holding it or something I do ok.
Vicki