[toniahoward]

All I can think about is cutting...I want to cut...I have been so sad lately and feel so alone...I just want to be happy...I don't want to feel this way any more...I can't dig myself out of this hole...I don't know what to do...I go to a regular dr but she does not know how to help me mentally so she has be on meds that do not help me...I can not afford a psychiatrist so I am just lost...I want to tell me family but they all say oh its just because you do not have your medicine...You will be fine...You will get your meds soon...I need them now...I need to feel better now...I want all this to go away...I want to be happy...I want to be able to make something of myself...I can't even work because of all this...why would god let me suffer like this...I hate life

[Mike_J]

Cutting won't make you happy, just makes you think you are replacing one form of pain for another. But it's a lie, you are just adding more pain on to what you already have.

[Christina86]

I'm sorry you feel alone. That feeling SUCKS.



Being happy is hard work to achieve sometimes, eh? It seems almost unattainable sometimes, especially if we're stuck in a rut of depression and whatnot.

I'm glad you're at least able to see a regular doctor. Affording a psychiatrist isn't something I have to worry about in Canada - but paying for meds isn't cheap! Have you tried to talk to the doctor and saying you need a referral to a therapist/counsellor? They are a lot cheaper than seeing a psychiatrist and meds by themselves aren't very useful. Therapy generally can work better, and if you find a good person to work with - it is really helpful!

I've got an unsupportive family too. Mine doesn't understand why I'd need antidepressants (they don't think I'm depressed) and they certainly aren't going to be told that I'm in therapy since that would just add more fuel to the fire and give them something else to be upset with me about.

Suffering sucks. I'm sorry I can't be of any real help but DON'T CUT. You don't need to hurt yourself, it's only a temporary solution that will make matters more complicated to deal with. Have you looked at the pinned topic in the forum about things to do instead of self-injuring? There are a lot of good ideas by other members about things you can do that won't hurt yourself but should help with the urges a bit.

BTW, I really like your signature:

Life is hard, ones who have to struggle to make it are the ones that really deserve what life has to give......

[Sannah]

Have you looked into gov't supported therapy?