... I am finding this really confusing.
I have never SI before but really really want to now. This has happened since a therapy session - my first with EMDR - and since then I have been overwhelmed with memories and connections. Nothing majorly traumatic, but upsetting to me, overwhelming in their number and intensity.
So far I have only scratched my skin with a pin, not left any marks, but I am scared.

[vanna123]

Caroline---
please do not start --- talk here all nite if you have to. once you start it is difficult to stop.
I have used EMDR in the past and t's understand if you need to call after a session especially if they are creating such turmoil for you.
Please call yout t and keep reaching out until the feeling passes. PLEASE. Take care hope to hear from you soon.

Hi vanna
I did call my t - she gave me her home no - but she was busy and couldn't talk.
Have emailed her
Told my GP yesterday too
He has given me valium but I so want to

[vanna123]

Remember we are all here to talk. just keep on posting until it passes. my t is on vacation right now so i have been calling and talking to people at the local salvation army. a little religious but beyond that--- a good listening ear. I am here just keep posting. Take good care of yourself.

I can't understand or cope with the overwhelming nature of the memories.
My T gave me self soothing strategies but I can't seem to use them
I can't understand why so many patterns keep repeating themselves - what is tit aobut me that leads to this. I must be doing something so wrong
I can't understand why I am so scared

[vanna123]

Major storm a coming this way. really bad thunder and lightening need to close down. will open back up when the storm passes and it is safe. please do not hurt yourself. even thought i won't be online I'll be thinking of you and will check in. TAKE CARE

[vanna123]

just got your new post ---- will stay online and take a chance. if I lose you it is becasue of a power failure which seems likely.
remember memories are just that --- memories.
You survived the real events and you will survive this--- just remember to keep telling yourself it is not real and I am here today in the present and I have survived and will survvie again.

Thank you for being here vanna. It helps.
Part of me knows the memories are just that, but on a nother level they seem so real and I feel so aftraid
I keep on working on all this stuff and just now it feels like I will never get over it all. I just want to be past all this. Maybe I am just dwelling on it, as someone said to me today, and I just need to change the way I am thinking.

[tamzinrose]

Hey, I'm here too if you want to talk more. Starting is bad.

[complic8d]

I'm doing EMDR too, and I SI. It has become quite an obsession for me now. I have learned that the more I do it, the more I want to do it, and the worse I want the outcome to be. Please, don't even start. I sure wish I hadn't. Please stay safe and take care. HUGS!

[Hope4me2]

please do not start....it was the biggest mistake I ever made... I started at 15 and am now 46 and still doing it and cannot stop....it is addicting and you do not want to go there please...

Hope, complic8d and tamzinrose. I am still having the urge to hurt myself periodically, mostly in the evenings. I managed to tell my GP how I was feeling and he has put me on a low dose of diazepam which helps a bit, but there are still times when it is very hard. It helps a lot to know that there are people out there that I can ask for help if I need it. So far I haven't drwan blood at all; just gently scratching along the surfaceof my arm with a pin seems to be enough. But it is scary. I see my counsellor again on Monday and I am sure we will be talking about this... That scares me, but I know I need to to get better. Thank you all again.
Caroline

[tamzinrose]

Anytime. Don't worry about it.