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#1
Aug 10, 2005, 09:56 AM
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At the moment there is a girl staying with us, who is supposedly my 'friend'. She has become awful close to my brother, however, until last night.
I was actually feeling tremendously left out, as she was in his bed a lot, and they had their little giggles and were always holding hands in front of me. They've been out together into town on a few occasions, and she has bought my brother lots of presents, like PC games, and she paid for him to get his lip pierced. You can imagine how upset i felt , after inviting her to stay with me (we got on so well online) and now she's sleeping with my brother! Last night we were drinking again, and i decided to talk to other people instead of being left on my own. I don't know what happened but this girl has just become out of control now. She screams (my Dad is staying elsewhere until she's gone, and i feel awful selfish for having her impose on us as such) in the middle of the night, strokes the TV, and her laughing is one of the most annoying i've ever encountered. Something clicked in her last night, my brother was crying in his room- bawling in fact (so loudly) and she was slitting her wrists in my kitchen. Her arms are now gashed all over and the situation has been awkward since. She keeps throwing things about, and she's actually gone to the shop now to get more alcohol. I'm not actually sure what i am supposed to do with her.
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You might say it's self-indulgent. You might say it's self-destructive. But you see it's more productive than if i were to be happy. |
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#2
Aug 10, 2005, 10:01 AM
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That sounds awful. I wish i could say something to help, but i just don't know what you could do.
How long is she staying?
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#3
Aug 10, 2005, 10:03 AM
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Until Friday. I've asked my brother is she's being alright with him. I'm hardly getting two words out of her... He says everything is fine. But they've been in separate rooms all day already.
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You might say it's self-indulgent. You might say it's self-destructive. But you see it's more productive than if i were to be happy. |
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#4
Aug 10, 2005, 10:37 AM
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[demolitionlover}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
so sorry you have to deal with something like this....that is just awful....wish I knew what to say ...but wanted you to know I was thinking about you... take care! 
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"My Therapist always says there is HOPE, so he continues to be my light of HOPE even on my darkest of days" |
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#5
Aug 10, 2005, 03:41 PM
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Try talking to her... As hard as it may be with how the situation has been lately, try getting her to open up to you and tell you what's wrong with her. See if she'd be willing to go to a mental health center and get some counseling. It works wonders. Whatever happens, I wish you the best and hope you find peace with the situation.
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... What's this life for? |
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#6
Aug 10, 2005, 06:15 PM
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That sounds scary! Hide the knives!
Are there any of her relatives you can contact so they can come and collect her? I think that if you're feeling endangered by her, you should call the police... she doesn't sound very stable to me. I'm sorry you have to cope with her until Friday... I hope everything goes okay until then.
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That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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#7
Aug 10, 2005, 07:56 PM
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Like others have said, you can try talking to her if you feel comfortable enough to do that. It sounds like she is in need of help, and if you were able to get her to talk to a mental health professional that would be good. It isn't just the cutting and yelling that are signs that she desparately needs help - the way she so quickly took to sleeping with your brother is another danger signal. I bet that she does not think much of herself at all. You are not obligated, of course, to put up with her behavior or to care for her. She needs more than she can get just from a friend. If she continues to do these things you can call emergency services - the police and/or even health emergency services, and ask them to help you deal with her and to take her out of your home and see that she gets the proper assistance.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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#8
Aug 11, 2005, 05:25 AM
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I don't think i can talk to her. She ignored everyone- for instance, last night me and my brother were asked to play a gig at really short notice- i think she was pissed off that she had to follow us around, and we had to get ready and put a set together super-quick. When we got to the venue, there was also a lot of waiting about because of the soundchecks etc...
Anyway she just upped and left (she was drunk and had been drinking ALL DAY) and went home on her own. I don't know how she managed to get there because it's a really long way, unless she got a taxi, but that would have cost her a bomb! She got in the house by climbing over the garden wall (again i don't know how) and used the back door which is always open. It really spoilt it because we played a good set, people were impressed, and then instead of enjoying the other bands we were obsessing over her wandering around Plymouth in the middle of the night on her own! I really don't like her, neither does anyone else we've introduced her to, yet my brother is still sleeping with her, and i'm still on the sofa. I can't wait for her to just go home; it sounds really harsh but i have my own crap to sort out and i don't want all her rubbish piling on me. I know she's adopted, and she's just split up with a partner (who was 16, so it seems she's not shy about having sex with younger boys)!
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You might say it's self-indulgent. You might say it's self-destructive. But you see it's more productive than if i were to be happy. |
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#9
Aug 11, 2005, 05:16 PM
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Whoa...!! It sounds like this girl has some major problems. She does need to be seen by a mental healthcare professional. And I also agree that it is definitely NOT your responsibility to look after her. Like you said, you have your own problems, and she doesn't need to add to them. Call someone to help you (and her). Best of luck. Be careful...
-Jen-
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"There are things we need to forget and forgive, Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need." Silverchair- All Across The World |
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#10
Aug 11, 2005, 07:46 PM
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Thanks a lot.
Hopefully she goes home tomorrow. My Dad refers to her has the 'scatty girl'. I really can't take her screaming much more, and i feel it's damaged my relationship with my brother; i'm too soft on him, and he'll get away with it, but it cuts me up how he does this to me, especially with someone so unstable. Normally i'd not mind sticking my oar in and telling someone exactly what they should be doing to sort themselves out, but i can't even look at this girl without wanting to slap her for her stupidity. Again, she's not stopped drinking ALL day, and i'm dreading the 'Goodbye'... Am i supposed to hug her and thank her for visiting, and that she should come again? When really all i want is for her to go away and not have her talk to me again. Have any of you an idea what may be the case with her? Or do you think it's an attention thing? As fas as i can see there is no severe mental disorder, but she certainly has an alcohol problem, and is self harming! I can't believe she didn't even apologise for ruining my bands show!
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You might say it's self-indulgent. You might say it's self-destructive. But you see it's more productive than if i were to be happy. |
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#11
Aug 11, 2005, 09:12 PM
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I have a good idea what a professional might call it, but since I'm not in a position to be diagnosing people, I'll leave that up to the professionals. I really do hope that she sees someone. She has problems.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg
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#12
Aug 11, 2005, 09:44 PM
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__________________
"My Therapist always says there is HOPE, so he continues to be my light of HOPE even on my darkest of days" |
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#13
Aug 12, 2005, 12:47 PM
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She's gone home now- awful relieved, but slightly confused.
Surely she can't have acted this way purely because she was under our roof!? Dont her adoptive parents realise what she's doing? Don't they get annoyed with her screaming in the middle of the night and her cutting herself? And what about the drinking!? She came to hug me and thank me for having her to stay, but i couldn't so much as give her a 'You're welcome'. I did, however, drop in a note about taking care of herself, and laying off the alcohol. She laughed at me.
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You might say it's self-indulgent. You might say it's self-destructive. But you see it's more productive than if i were to be happy. |
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#14
Aug 12, 2005, 01:16 PM
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I don't know you. However, if you were my daughter that girl would not have stayed that long. For sure. Please think about your own safety. Glad she is out of your place. I have 4 grown kids ranging in age from 35 to 26. 3 daughters ( 3 nurses )....& 1 son. Not judging you, but yikes!!!!!!!!! Take good care!
Best regards, Dottie
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 dottie |
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#15
Aug 12, 2005, 02:20 PM
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I'm just glad she went home now! It's a relief to know that you are safe from her.
-Jen-
__________________
"There are things we need to forget and forgive, Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need." Silverchair- All Across The World |
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