[otherone]

I have a lot, and I mean really a lot, of old self-injury scars which are obviously not accidental. I'm visiting family for the first time in many years, and when I met them again my two nieces noticed the scars. The youngest asked about one big one - "what's that?" - and I just said it was a scar from a cut and left it at that. But it's not a good answer and since we're all going swimming tomorrow and they weather's way too hot for long sleeves and long pants, I worry that they'll ask again. They're 7 and 9; what's appropriate to tell kids that age?

[Their parents are not a help here, they perpetuate stigma, not fight it, and won't discuss my mental health issues with me.]

[Ebpm]

Just say you've had a lot of accidents over the course of the years. If they ask "like what?" just say, "poor dessition"
or at least something like that. When they are older, and can better understand maybe if you're comfortable, you can truelly tell them why.

[otherone]

Originally Posted by Ebpm

Just say you've had a lot of accidents over the course of the years. If they ask "like what?" just say, "poor dessition"
or at least something like that. When they are older, and can better understand maybe if you're comfortable, you can truelly tell them why.

Thanks, that's a good idea.

[Ebpm]

Welcome! It's alright, I used to blame scars on my cats. They never actually have scratched me EVER, but people believed it.

Let me know how everything is k? Pm me anytime! ;-)

[otherone]

Originally Posted by Ebpm

Welcome! It's alright, I used to blame scars on my cats. They never actually have scratched me EVER, but people believed it.

Let me know how everything is k? Pm me anytime! ;-)

My scars are too patterned and big and there's too many of them to blame cats.

They both asked about the scars again today and I'm not sure how well it went. I said it was from an accident but they kept asking more questions (what kind of accident?) and saying how creepy they were. I just kept changing the subject but then they'd ask again. I think they know it's not any accident, not any kind of accident scars they've seen before, but don't know how to understand the idea of something else.

How old is appropriate to tell kids the truth?

[otherone]

Adults freak out at the sight of my scars too (seriouslly unnatural looking and everywhere on my body) and sometimes ask about them but I can brush them off a lot easier. My own nieces, not so easy.

[Ebpm]

Hhhmmm.....maybe say something such as, "Sometimes people have problems in the game of life. You see, these are because I almost lost, and yes it was creepy, and scary. But you see me here, I'm winning see? We all can win if we work hard. You have a special kind of work, that work is to go have fun and no more talk of losing! Let's go win this game shall we?"

I hope that might help. It's hard when the parents are totally ignorant. Just hearing about it makes me completely peeved! X-P

yeah...I sortof gave cats a bad rap with those silly excuses. ;-)

[otherone]

Originally Posted by Ebpm

Hhhmmm.....maybe say something such as, "Sometimes people have problems in the game of life. You see, these are because I almost lost, and yes it was creepy, and scary. But you see me here, I'm winning see? We all can win if we work hard. You have a special kind of work, that work is to go have fun and no more talk of losing! Let's go win this game shall we?"

I hope that might help. It's hard when the parents are totally ignorant. Just hearing about it makes me completely peeved! X-P

yeah...I sortof gave cats a bad rap with those silly excuses. ;-)

Turn it into a positive message about surviving, an important thing to say anyway... thanks!

I think the cats can handle the blame.

[(JD)]

Well, for that age group I would suggest not making a big deal out of it.. .I mean, acting like it's not a big deal. I can hear them ask, how did you get cut? You know?

Just say, nochalantly, Oh sometimes things happen don't they? Have you ever had a boo boo? (or whatever word they might use) ... odds are they will spend the rest of the time telling you about all the mishaps they've had... it sounds like they could use someone to listen and care about them!

Or you could say, oh let's not talk about me, tell me about you and when you got hurt (or something...)

It you don't make a secret big deal out of it, they probably won't bother about it again.