[dalila]

<font color="green"> This is a long story and there is no ending in sight. My ds has a beautiful little girl who is nearly 4 her mother has some major issues – perhaps bipolar perhaps RAD or even just the amount of drugs and alcohol she has consumed in her 20 some years of life. Anyway she does not have the ability to parent my dgd for more than a few days so that my son (when she has not managed to get him thrown into jail), her mother (not the best of influences), any of her friends she can con or I myself have cared for the child.

There are many reasons to try to keep the child out of her mother’s care or at least find a way to have in a home that would be more stable. However, since my ds was never married to her mother she has all the rights to the child and we are all beggars at her table. I wish there was some way to pry her control of the child from her as this is not a healthy lifestyle and my dgd is showing signs of emotional problems already.

Recently my ds’ gf wrecked a truck she was driving – she fell asleep at the wheel and nearly killed her passenger. This has cost her the place she was living. Because of her temper and aggressive actions when she loses it she is not welcome on our property, especially whenever my ds si around. In fact, she triggers my PTSD big time as I have twice watched her assault my ds.

After the accident she put on a show that she was about to be arrested for the accident or whatever the police found in the truck, once again it turned out to be nothing but lies. She is on probation and continues to do just as she pleases breaking probation at will. If she were to go to jail, she would lose her parental rights and have to prove her fitness as a mother (good luck lady). so we thought we were out of the woods and had the baby free and clear only to find out that it was just another of her manipulations.

This all leaves the baby in limbo once again. CPS plans to inspect her living arrangements shortly and so she needs to have a job and pay the backlog of rent and electric bills on the trailer we bought for them to buy from us. If she doesn’t do this, CPS will remove the baby from her care. My ds thinks if it gets this bad she will move back in with her mother to be able to keep the baby. I hope not.

My own childhood sexual issues have settled somewhat but this situation triggers all the past abuse and abandonment issues. Add to all this that my youngest daughter and I have both sprained an ankle and you have the recipe for the depression I seem to be ever falling deeper into. I made a promise to my therapist that I wouldn’t si and that I would call for help if the wish to die moved into a wish to kill myself. I have gone about 13 months without doing any SI. I was holding tough though all this cos we had an appointment with therapist on Monday, but then my therapist became ill and canceled. I didn’t know what to do if she is too sick to be in the office then she is too sick to try counseling on the phone so I just toughed it out and am going in today. I am honestly dancing on the razor’s edge for this right now.

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(((((((((dalila))))))))))))))) we care!!! I'm so sorry everything is so difficult right now. You have a great heart and you deserve hugs and not punishment. Let us know how we can comfort you.

[blackdragon]

(((((((((((((((dalia))))))))))))))))))) hang in there. If ya want to talk im here for you

[dalila]

<font color="green">Thanks everyone. I am a bit better now. Things are still up in the air with dgd and her mother, my son says he is done with her, I hope so.The baby is still with us. I did see therapist on Wednesday and was exhausted afterwards. then Psych Central wouldn't let me in - I guess the site was down. I am not on the edge but fighting the urges to SI. </font>

[Rapunzel]

I know it wouldn't be the total answer, but would enrolling your granddaughter in Head Start be a possibility? It can turn family's lives around sometimes, and make a really big difference for the kids.

This sounds like a really rough situation, and I can tell that you care a lot about this child and want to help her. I'm glad that she has you in her life.

Im so glad that you are doing better, dalia!