[dsmart]

i always thought i was alone....i felt alone i should say, i started si when i was a little girl, you see it was my security blanket. my dad he liked to drink and he was a very "loving" person when he drank and its not the kind of love a kid wants from her dad...anyway my brother and sister were old enough they went to friends houses and left me at home and my mom was always at work to be away from my dad..so i was stuck like chuck when he came home drunk...so i figured out at a young age if i "hurt" myself my mom would call me several times a day to check on me and i think thats where it got started..the sence of safety i guess because my dad knew if she called she could hear in my voice if something was wrong.
but now to be 27 life is diferent i cant expect my mom to save me when life gets hard so i deal with it by burning or cutting or pulling my hair whatever makes me calm down. so what now? i told my mom close to a year ago that i do these things to myself and that didnt go well because she thinks she did something wrong and she didnt its not her fault i dont know how to deal with things when they get hard.
but anyway i never knew theres people out there like me "in pain" so they cause pain to feel alive, its crazy..

[tamzinrose]

Yeah, I dunno, it doesn't seem to be the kind of thing mothers want to know.

[Quay]

Hi, Definitely not alone in any of that. I guess we all missed something in growing up. Somehow they forgot to show us how to deal with our pain. It's really hard to learn how once you're already an adult and have been doing it other ways for so long.
I haven't really told many about what I do. Only my T and nutritionist basically. A couple of friends kind of know I do something, but I won't talk about what I actually do. Oh, yeah, and my surgeon of all people, he figured it out from the marks on my arm. Forgot to hide them one day and his nurse turned me in. As far as the family, they started in one day on someone on the news that was cutting, let me know where I'd stand if I ever confessed, so I keep my mouth shut there.
So anyway, there are many people here dealing with some of the issues you mentioned, and a few dealing with everything you mentioned.
Take care of yourself as best you can. Quay