So um, T is an apparent douchebag.

I've posted a few threads before about whether or not the T I had seen a few times was an asshole or not, and since I didn't really know him well enough to allow myself to make any final judgments about him, I wasn't really sure what to think. Though he did say something (a couple of times, actually, so it's not just me mishearing or misunderstand what was said) that just really made me question his qualifications as a therapist -- or rather, question how much experience he's had with people who SI (I imagine it's not a lot).
I shall recap.
My first session ever in my life, and I had never really talked much about my SI, so yes, I was extremely nervous. And yes, I had cut the night before due to said nervousness. When I told him this, he said to me (not verbatim, but basic jist) "If the thought of coming in here makes you want to cut, then it's better if you don't come in at all".

Why do we have you as our campus counselor again?
Am I justified in thinking that he does not have much experience with this kind of thing?

PLUS. I've talked to quite a few people on campus who have talked with this guy, and apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks he's an arrogant insensitive asshole. And this is coming from people who have had a lot of experience with T's, so I'm taking their word for it.

I don't have any insurance (expired last may)--we had to pay a fee of almost $500 out of pocket to cover insurance (my family and I are poor enough this year already--had to dish out another $1300 out of pocket to cover surprise tuition fees) so I could continue attending the school. But there are limits to this insurance; it only covers so-and-so amounts of T visits, certain types of physical examinations/tests, etc. And quite frankly, I'm wondering if I should use the health insurance for a psych evaluation or save it for some day when I might snap and will need a trip to the emergency room... That wasn't a threat or anything, but the thought of completely snapping has certainly crossed my mind several times; I wouldn't say it's not a possibility in this lifetime. But people shouldn't have to choose between physical health and mental health, and it's quite sad I have to make such a choice. But anywho. Aside from the douchebaggy T, I don't know what other options I have right now.
What do you guys think, as far as counselor's go? Advice would be much appreciated.

Yeah, he doesn't sound too experienced. I give a vote to going ahead and using your insurance now for therapy.

If you're in college, there may be a variety of options open to you. At my school, there are counseling centers, through which you can get free counselling, and also referrals to free/low-cost counselling, and the campus health center runs lots of therapy-ish groups. (mostly for stress reduction and support, but some eating disorder stuff, and so on.)

And also, check out what the insurance actually covers -- at my school (and at my kids' schools) the insurance covered something like 6 session a semester. But I'm pretty sure that was aside from any hospitalizations. Anyway, check what it covers.

So, this guy is probably not your only option; I bet there's other stuff around.

Good luck,
-Far

Is this T part of your school med/counseling center? If so, there is probably other counselors who you can see who know more. You have the right as a patient to demand another T (if they are available). If he is part of the counseling center, and you feel comfortable, I would report what he said to the head of the counseling center. While the students who have seen him may know he is not good, his superiors will not know until someone complains. His reaction to you was totally uncalled for and inappropriate. I would also check out your parent's health insurance. Often inpatient and outpatient treatments are written out separately in insurance, so if you use one, it does not take away your benefits from using the other. Though there may be a policy maximum (per issue, i.e. my student insurance in undergrad would pay $1000 per injury or illness-but note, that when I was hospitalized this was not the limit), and you would want to check on that.

maybe he was just triyng to think about you? maybe he's thinking that if the anxiety of seeing him is so much that you're gonna hurt yourself before / after each session that you're just not quite ready to approach the issues.

You need a new T. Pronto.

Unfortunately not all therapists are well trained or knowledgeable about self-injury, so they can act reallllllllllllly inappropriately when faced with a client who is trying to deal with it.

How badly do you think you need immediate therapy? Have you considered online therapy (it can be a lot cheaper)? I'd go for the psych evaluation if you think it might shed some light on things you're dealing with. Also if you get diagnosed with something, maybe it would be easier to seek treatment then?

My first session ever in my life, and I had never really talked much about my SI, so yes, I was extremely nervous. And yes, I had cut the night before due to said nervousness. When I told him this, he said to me (not verbatim, but basic jist) "If the thought of coming in here makes you want to cut, then it's better if you don't come in at all".

OMG.

Forgive me for reacting so strongly.

It really sounds like he has *very little or no experience* with si!

If I had been there seeing him, that comment he made would have made me feel even more like si'ing.

also, I relate to being very limited in money. You are so right---we shouldn't have to choose how we get our care!

And feeling so helpless and hopeless, too, wondering if we will as you say, "snap".

i pray you are safe now.

Billi

grrrrr at douchebag t

I am sorry.

There are counselors out there that SI actually makes nervous. They have no idea how to deal with it. If he is making comments and you are feeling uncomfortable, try and find someone new. I think these kinda counselors want the easy cases. 6 weeks and your better. You will be better off without his remarks.

My first thought on reading his reaction was that he figured if therapy was going to make you so freaked out as to need to cut, you probably should wait on pursuing it until you're more comfortable with the idea. (Someone else said this too, forgive me for not scrolling up to find out who.)

But seriously -- I would be less inclined to call him names and more inclined to think he was thinking of what you're capable of handling right now.

I'm not a T and I don't play one on TV, but I think that's called "redirecting." :-)