Getting into a state

I hate this. I feel that tight feeling in my chest and my thoughts are starting to go around in circles. I don't want this to happen. I want to be able to stop it. I feel it coming but I am not totally sure how to divert it. The thoughts are about the ignorant lady that I talk about in "Hurt feelings" and how much I hate my son's PE teacher. I even told my son that she is a *****. Not something I normally say about teachers but this woman made my daughter believe that she is unathletic so now she doesn't want to try new things because she is afraid she will look stupid and now this woman is starting to do the same thing to my son. She tells the kids what failures they are when they can't reach her expectations. She demoralizes them by saying things like "that is a 2nd grade skill level" when she is talking to 5th graders. She is an awful witch. I tried on several occasions to discuss this with her but got no where. This time I am going to try to go through the school counselor. Maybe she can help mediate or at least explain things better without resorting to foul names. It just makes me so mad. I have tried to explain to them that in every person's life one meets up with total *****es and one just has to shrug them off and move on. So here I am trying to explain this to my son at the same time I am hurting on the inside because of what "T" said to me at lunch. Argh! I am such a hippocrite sometimes...OK all the time when it comes to following my own advice. Makes me think of The Violent Femmes song "America, the home of the hippocrite." I Know! I will go turn on the Violent Femmes and listen to them real loud. That will make me feel better.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You aren't a hippocrit, you know? We all have feelings, and sometimes they get hurt. You feel the way you feel, and so does your son. Some people are insensitive, and that makes us feel bad. If you were denying your son's feelings and telling him to just get over it or suck it up, then maybe you would be a hippocrit, but you recognize that both of you have hurt feelings. That's the right thing to do.

I think you are doing pretty good. Have some chocolate - maybe that will help.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Wendy

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>

Hugs for (((((((((((((((((((((Carrie))))))))))))))))))))))))) =

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am very proud of you actually. If that had been happening to Alex, I would have been there and right in that woman's face - no one messes with my son and hurts his feelings. I would have simply reacted and not thought about it twice.

You are doing the right thing and going through the right channels. You're a good mom and explaining things to your kids is the best way about people. I've tried telling Alex that there are people out there that just hurt others and to be careful - it is hard though.

I never take my own advice either. I can try to help other people and it works for them, but I never think of doing the same towards myself.

I vote for chocolate also.

Mary Alice

Carrie...

Obviously some people are just not cut out to be teachers. I had a similar situation with my son's music teacher a while back. This teacher would use sarcasm (on 4th graders.. which they didn't understand) and ridiculed individual kids publicly for not performing up to his standards. As a result my son hated band (he played the sax) and ultimately he quit. I spoke to the teacher on a couple of occasions and got no where. I also wrote a lengthy letter to the principal which was never answered. And, this was a veteran teacher. Sad really as my so loves music and just this past year began taking guitar lessons. But he missed out on 6 years of music because this teacher was such a jerk.

I don't know why it is that many veteran teachers seem to ridicule the kids publicly. My son also had a math teacher that did htis to him. I told both teachers my suggestion is to praise in public, criticize in private. But, got no where with either of them. So Carrie, I can relate to your frustration. Hang in there and never let a teacher walk all over your kid.

Thanks everyone for your wonderful support. I had another spot of difficulty with my son. He got threatened twice today and then the kid hit him in the stomach after school. I was ready to go into the office as soon as he told me but he wanted me to just call because he didn't want to go back into school. The gal I talked to logged the complaint in a computer, plus left a message for the principal and then put me through to my son's teacher's voicemail since he wasn't answering the phone in his room. My son is a big boy, he was a bit over weight when he was littler but has keep to the same weight for the last 2 years so is growing into the weight but he is still big, the classic husky. He is much taller then most of the kids in his class and could easily take any one of them out if he had the mind too but he is a pacifist. He doesn't want to hurt anyone so he just takes the teasing he gets and the pushing. I wish he could just sock one of those kids once and put them in their place but he never will...not for himself. He has stuck up for his friends and got sent to the bench for shoving a person who was shoving his friend but he doesn't retaliate when he is in the situation. Sigh. On top of that he has a lisp right now because he has a hyrax in his mouth to get his upper jaw to grow to the right size. Sigh. It breaks my heart to see the trouble he is having right now.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

Oh and as far as the chocolate goes, since I have been taking the cocoa powder in gel caps I have not had a sweet tooth at all. There is icecream in the freezer and it doesn't appeal to me in the least. Very interesting.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

I can't really give advice... your son just seems to sound a lot like me. And look where it has gotten me. To tell you the truth the majority of my problems are self-esteem problems which are caused by these types of things. I just can't hate people, and I want to be open to them all, but I take on a lot of crap about it... at least he's brave enough to tell you and do the right things in a way. Sure he shouldn't hold all of his anger in, but he is not punching people ethier. See for me it's like him... I won't stick up for myself, but I stick up for EVERYONE else. I don't know what to say except to support him, let him just take a minute and yell at you about it, and just keep being there for him... I can't say the teasing will stop... sure there was a complaint and that kid got in trouble, but there are always more kids and time always passes, but I can say that he will make it through. Hope things start looking up for him, and therefore you.

(((((((Zenobia)))))))

Through each others weaknesses we find comfort.

Thanks Valbends,
I didn't get much teasing, just by a couple of guys who called me a slut. When I just agreed with them they got bored with it. I lucked out considering I was a teacher's daughter and valedictorian...ha ha wouldn't know by my spelling, tee hee. So it is hard for me to truely empathize with him which makes it difficult to give him good advice about how to cope with it. I just spout off what I have read in book but we all know how book ideas don't always work in the real world.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson