regular self-injury..once again

ive been fighting the urge to self-injure for some time...and even when i gave in it would be once and then i wudnt do it again for weeks...ive had stuff stressing me out lately and i was fighting the urge to cut ..but on sat nite i gave in (the urge was real bad), then again on sun afternoon, and mon night again but the last time the urge wasnt THAT strong. it was more like an act of self-indulgence, just for the heck of it, cause i'd done it twice already and it was easier. its tuesday night now and i want to do it again. this time cause the world seems like a very scary place and i feel AWFUL about everything ...i dont know what to do. there seems to be nothing else to do that'll help. i cant make the feeling go away, i feel scared of life, of everything. dont want to deal with anything just want oblivion and this seems like the best way. only im scared i'll become dependent on it again and it'll become an everyday thing.

i just feel like everything is falling apart. my entire world. might have to quit therapy too in less than a month so dont want to get too dependent on my therapist.

it feels like nothing is ok and its not just a transient feeling. ive been feeling like this for many days.

just dont know what else to do :s

Is the possibility of stopping therapy causing you to feel that everything is falling apart and that the world is a scary place? I do hope that you share this stuff with your therapist. Please continue to keep us posted?

Thank you very much for the reply Sannah. I think that's exactly what it was, I went to see my therapist today and that was what we talked about and I realized that the reason I feel so awful is that I might have to end therapy soon. I'm amazed you were able to figure it out since it was only a small part of my long post!

What I have realized is that a person will tell you what is bothering them AND why. I just need to listen! Are you feeling a bit better after realizing what was bothering you?

Hello, sorry I've been MIA and didn't reply earlier. What you said is so true, that a person will tell you what's bothering them and why, if you just listen! I had to tell you that (that I think it's very true) because it's something I didn't realize earlier!

and Yes, knowing what is bothering me does make me feel better! At least it has a name and can therefore be dealt with instead of being one big nameless feeling that translates into the desire to SI.

I feel better about that other thing but been SIing regularly for other reasons and now every little thing is becoming a reason ..just want to cry all the time coz everything seems so scary.

Are you talking to your therapist about all of this?