Self Injurious ways....

Its kind of funny in a weird way that every therapist I have ever seen asks "do you self injure?". No thats not the funny part for there is nothing funny about self injury. I the funny part is that when they ask this they are talking about cutting. There are so many other ways a person can self injure but cutting is the one the psych world focuses on when asking about self injuious behavior. So I thought I would post some of mine so that those who do these things too will not feel like they are crazy and alone ---
1. Cutting
2. walking until the muscles hurt for hours
3. Biting my arms
4. hitting, punching myself (with or without objects)
5. punching the floor or wall so that my hand hurts
6. eating something that I know my stomach can't
handle just so that I can feel the pain
7. Burning myself on purpose (matches, candles
cooking)
8. head banging
9. bathing or showering in water that is too hot.
10. social situations that lead to the other person
inflicting pain of some kind

((((((((((((((Myself))))))))))))))))))
Try being kind to yourself.

I thought I was the only one who burned myself in the shower. I still feel so dirty many times from the sexual abuse I took as a child that I get in the shower and turn the water as hot as I can get it to hopefully clean the dirty feeling away and hurt myself in the meantime. Haven't done that in awhile, though.

I try jax. I haven't cut is about 6 months and have not done some of the others in going on three weeks. Another reason I posted this is because those urges are there at the moment. Not storng enough to act on but there as a thought.

no you're not alone this is my main one right now. I too am a child sex abuse survivor and in part do this to get rid of the left over dirt, even though logically I know those skin cells that had been touched so many years ago have "sloffed off" in the form of dry skin, dandruff and so on.

And thank you for being brave and confirming for me that I was'nt the only one that does these things.

I'm really happy for you. 6 months is quite a while. Wow!!!!! Give yourself a nice big pat on the back. Keep up the great work.

6 months without cutting geez thats a accomplishment. One thing i do is take a ICE cold shower or bath and when i mean ice cold i mean ice in the tube with me (if im taking a bath). Im a physical abuse survivor and have memorize of sexual abuse but i dont know if there real or not. not to confuse anyone i also burn cut, eat foods i cant digest ex: broccoli, carrots, colliflower, (all come out looking the way they came in).

I've also done the punching thing (both myself and wall/floor) and the shower-too-hot thing. And the burning thing. Although my main choice was cutting, those were also other options that in the moment if I didn't feel like grabbing a blade I could always use my hand.

Congrats on 6 months! It's been awhile since I've self harmed. Although I did get a tattoo when I was in Florida last for the purpose of the pain. I just didn't hurt myself. Someone else professionally "hurt" me.

Thanks. I never would have made it one day let alone 6 months if it wasn't for my being here and on NAMI and a very close friend in the real wold.

Thank you for adding the things that you do. I really appreciate it.My food items are of the spicey nature - the hotter the better. Mrs Renfro's green jalapinto salsa keeps my stomach burning and churning for a couple days.

pleas dont worry about if you're memorys are real or not. in time that will answer itself. you can still take care of the problems those memories cause you with out knowing if they are real or not. Laura Davis wrote in her courage to heal book (not exact wording and so on) that the thoughts are there and they had to come from somewhere. It doesn't matter where the thought came from or their reality, the problems associated with those thoughts are there causing problems in daily life so those problems need taking care of. The thoughts are there chances are they happened.

Thanks jax. 6 months was the longest I ever lasted so when I realized I had past that mark I bought myself a new game boy advance game (I love those things) and a new loretta lynn cd. that was three weeks ago.

Thanks Hereiam for letting me and everyone else here know we are not alone. I really appreciate it.

Thanks BamaSurvivor. No tatoos here but have baited a boyfriend or two into causing me pain for release. Very few people would be willing to admit they sometimes need someone else to create pain for them. In fact I almost didn't include that on my list. Thank you for admitting you got the tatoo primarily for the pain it causes.it means alot to me.

Oh, most definitely... Have to agree with you there. sometimes we get so tired of causing our own pain, we seek pain from others just to get a break.

Sorry moderators, Im not trying to give anybody ideas.

I would also add passive withdrawal from all things that could be beneficial. For example, not eating. Active ways in which I self harm include cutting and substance abuse, but thats the paradox of self harming - seeking relief from emotional turmoil through physically harming yourself. Its just ways in which we try to cope or delay the mental wounds from becoming too ingrained, to give us an opportunity to find other ways to cope. There is hope in our actions.

I've done some of this stuff too. Reopening cuts all the time, punching walls, bashing my elbows into stuff casually as I walk past...getting into arguments with people over nothing, making them angry at me, trying to make them hate me... I wash my hair with the water as cold as it goes, and I have the bath water as hot as I can stand it... I cut. I pull out my eyebrows and eyelashes... I scratch myself... I pinch myself... I think maybe that's it.

I've done at least 8 of the 10 on your list, and most of them very habitually. I had only cut with a blade a couple of times before I joined this site, but all of these other things were just things I did, and a lot of them I don't think I really thought of as being SI. I also prided myself on my originality and creativity in choosing my methods. I've gotten a sunburn on purpose many times, gone running in the wrong shoes, pushed myself too far exercising, etc. I usually have sore muscles. I can get sore muscles just by not taking iron for a few days too. And getting other people to hurt me is another of my themes. I'm never sure if that counts or not. Passive methods are kind-of my specialty.

Nope, you're not alone. BTW, my T recognizes all of these, and reminds me when I think I'm getting away with it because at least I'm not cutting.

Liquid glad to see you here. Im not a moderator but I don't see you as giving anyone ideas. What you have added is terrific. passive withdrawl so thats what is it when I don't eat when I should and over use certain medications when I did so that I don't have to think . Yup there sure is hope for us all yet. Thanks.

pull out eye brows and eye lashes theres a new one one. Well not quite new for once I had a therapist admit she did this when we were talking about self harm. now that you mention it I sort of scratch myself and sometimes end up with a long gouge in my leg. Thanks so much for joining in here.

I didn't realize these things are considered SI either until a few years ago a past therapist and I were talking and I was sitting on the couch talking and not relaizing that during this hard conversation I had been punching the arm of the couch. My therapist said "I want you to look at your hand and stop self harming yourself" I told her "Im not cutting." she said "no you have now punched the couch hard enough to cause your knuckles to bleed thats self harm now stop punching the couch when I am here". That lead into the many things that I do that I never thought of as self harm. Oh man miss those sunburns! Since diagnosed with cancer a few years ago I haven't dared to lay out in the sun. (sometimes I want to hurt not die.)

After that conversation with my past therapist I too had to become very creative in actions becaus eonce the cat was out of the bag that therapist caught on to everything and refused to let it go unnoticed, no lectures just a hmmm thats a new bruise, cut pulled muscle and so on. I too have used the "at least I haven't cut for this long routine" and recieved the evil eye because of it so my past therapist didn't buy it either. Thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone in this.

There were so many things I use to do but not for the pain. Now that I quit I can't do them anymore because I would be doing them strictly for the pain. Then it is self injury. Everything gets so complicated.

I used to loooove to punch my punching bag until my knuckles bled. I always felt better afterwards and it gave me a sense of accomplishment.

See, we're actually all really clever about SI. And yeah, I do the whole not-eating when I should thing. And also not-drinking-for-hours and sometimes not sleeping too. But that's kinda insomnia too so I guess it doesn't count. I just think that SI-ers are all really clever about it. We find new and creative ways to hurt ourselves, then better ways to hide it and lie about it.

yeah, even to ourselves

thought I would bring this back up to the top.