I own it

The other day I've had an epiphany that has helped me SO much against the constant struggle of SI.

The past year my SI got completely out of control and nearly became an unavoidable and frequent compulsion. A friend busted me out on it though and has been my main support in keeping myself from SI, and in figuring out why it is that I do.

At first my SI was a secret, something I could say didn't exist because no one knew. This is where my epiphany comes into place. I have never considered myself a cutter or self-injurer. However when I began to accept that that habit was very real and that other people knew, I began to identify with the self-injury as something that I did.

I had let it become a part of who I was, and I had let it own me. My epiphany is that SI is NOT a part of who I am, and it cannot own me. It is something I have done, and that I never have to do. It is not something that will forever frame my future. The SI I have done does not have to play a part in my personality.

So now I feel that I own the SI, that it's not a part of who I am. Merely something I have done in the past. Since this realization I have not had such a strong urge to SI. I haven't fought against the compulsion for the first time in a long time. I also don't feel like it's haunting me anymore.

So I just thought that perhaps I could share this and maybe it would help someone else. SI doesn't have to own you, or become a part of who you are. You are your own person, and you are strong, despite any weaknesses you may have. I believe this of anyone who does or does not read it.

Good luck to all of you, and take care.

Deta has a great point!!! SI is not us, and we are our own people (I hope that makes sense) and Guess what if we each come to this sort of realization we can change how we think. It's hard at first but it gets easier.

Take care all!

Oh my gosh, it does me good to re-read this epiphany. I still try to keep it in mind to this day I try to remember. "I am not the Depression I experience." or "I am not the urges I have." Man is it tricky, but it is so heartening to know that it doesn't have to own me.

Nice! This is reminding me of the epiphany that I had a few days ago. I was feeling anxious and I realized that I forgot that I'm not small. I had let some issues make me feel small. After I realized this I "expanded" and became bigger then these issues. It was a huge difference. I'm wondering if there is a component of this in what you are saying?

I think so, because I think when I feel controlled by depression, or SI that I forget everything else that I am too. Every person is a very big person on the inside, there is SO much about an individual that some of us will never even learn everything about ourselves. That's kind of the fun and beauty of it. So if you think that you're small, and you're letting other things box you in and define who you are, then you might have trouble seeing the potential you have to take control of the situation. Or that you are not just whatever is making you feel small, you are also everything that makes you feel tall.

Sound about right?

Yup!......