[Fox]

So I'm firstly really proud of myself cause I don't have any new marks for 2 months now. Before I was hospitalized I had gone a year and a half. I know I can make it another year again.

I look at my scars on my arms and my thighs and I despise them. It was stupid and I can't take back what happened. They're still really red and I can't hide them forever. Summer will be here before I know it and it'll be too hot for long sleeves. As I look at them I get the urge all over again. Like that's really going to fix them to add more to my stripes.

I'm trying to remember the happier times and dwell on those to pull out of this dark place but it's really hard and I don't know why.

Suggestions please? I really don't want to go down this road alone again.

[puzzclar]

Fox,
I'm glad that you are realizing you don't want to go down the road again!! That's a great thing!!! As for Suggestions, Stay busy!! Find some project that you can put all your energy into, and just get your mind of your problems. And when you are triggered try and find out why you are doing it, then write it here and get busy again. It will be hard to deal with it but you can do it!!! One STEP at at TIME..... and remember keep your mind busy... it helps!!

[Fox]

Thanks I'm trying to stay busy. I'm playing games online and watching Wizard of Oz. Just fed my bird. Hanging around in chat waiting for someone to come visit with me since I'm a social creature by nature.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

I'm so proud of you for not wanting to go down that road again. It is a scary road to go down. What I did for my scars was get a tattoo over them (I don't know if this is something you want to do). I did it commemoration of my cutting and having stopped. I wanted a way to cover my scars that I felt was beautiful. So I got Flawless Imperfections written across the arch of my foot where I use to cut. With a pretty butterfly above it in orange to symbolize the color of self injury. I haven't cut (2 years) since I got this tattoo because I don't want to mess up how beautiful it is. Maybe doing something of this sort will help. I don't know though because a lot of people are against tattoos. But like puzzclar said, stay busy too! It really does help. Stay around people that love you and can keep your mind from roaming to self injury. Stay strong! Best of luck

[Fox]

That is beautiful. I'm against permanent marks on my body. Maybe I can buy some light cotton long sleeve shirts to wear in the summer. My grandpa always wore long sleeves because of the burn scars on his arms. He never seemed to mind the heat. But I dunno.

[flawlessimperfectionsmft]

Thank you That's understandable and I'm sure you can find some breathable long sleeve shirts for the summer time.

[lovefew-fearnone]

Fox you don't have to go down this road alone! thats the beauty of this place. we are all here to give you a shoulder to lean on when the walking gets too rough. i know its hard but i am here to ever carry you if necessary..... i wish you luck
you inspire me by going a year and a half.
you gave me a goal.
you've given me so much.
now let me try to give some back.