[kyle]

If you look at my other post in rel & com, you'll see my post about my best friend. Well we are kinda talking again, and shes telling me that shes doing this stuff, and i don't know what i'm supposed to do.

Another thing, i have another good friend, and she is really depressed and things like that, and she has done some bad things. What should i do with this situation?

I don't do this stuff anymore, and now some of my good friends are. What should i do? I'm so confused witht this matter, i mean i understand, but how can i help them?

[Zenobia]

I think to start out you can ask yourself "Why did I hurt myself? How did I help myself? What was it that made things better enough to stop hurting myself?" Once you can answer those questions in detail with out flinching at the answers then you will be in a position to help your friends. I don't have enough information to give you any more advice. I do know that people who cut or hurt themselves have a lot of pain locked up inside and don't know how to get it out in a constructive way. The problem is the pain they are dealing with rather then the SI. If it wasn't for the pain there would be no SI. So I guess rather then trying to make them stop hurting themselves try helping them to stop hurting.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

[kyle]

Well my friend that is depressed was like that because her b/f cheated on her, and i understand why she would do that, but i don't know how to help her.

As for my ex best friend, well she used to keep me away from that stuff, and she did it to herself once (when we were close) and i was sooo mad at her... and i want to help her, and she wants me back as a friend, i think, but i don't know how to help her. I'm here for her, and thats all i can think of to do, for both of my buds.

I know they've helped me in my times of need, and i need to help them, because i couldn't lose either of them, i wouldn't be able to handle that.

[Zenobia]

I think that even though you don't think you know how to help your friends you can help them anyway. I know what I need most when I feel that way is to be told I am ok and that I am loved. You can't fix them, they have to do that themselves. But you can tell them you care. If the fact that they cut upsets you and makes you angry, let them know that you are not able to cope with it. Those feelings are your problem not theirs so it is up to you to set bounderies by telling them that you can not deal with hearing about that particular part of their troubles though you are there to listen about anything else. By setting those bounderies and making them known things will be emotionally safer all of you. Perhaps when you discuss this with them you could also give them a couple of numbers for counselors or support groups or the crisis line. That way they will have access to someone who IS able to discuss these things with them.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson