[MASIMO]

I am afraid I might SI tonight. The last two New Years I have gone into a depressive spiral and a PTSD attack. I have really been struggling with my anxiety this week. My sister was supposed to celebrate with me but cancelled and I'm so dissappointed that I'm going to be alone in the dark.
I love New Years, the lights, music, laughter, hugs and kisses, singing, reminising and I cant stand the thought of being alone.

When I say alone, my H will be in the next room sleeping. He is sober right now, doesn't like New Year's cause he cant drink, and just goes to bed early. I stay up and try to make it until the Ball drops, crying in my
champagne. I have tried to think of someone to be with, somewhere safe to go but I have no one. I dont want to SI tonight, but I'm already thinking of it.

[racee]

why can't you be here? thats were i probably will be, and you can chat with people. you can talk with me.
i don't celebrate it, my partner does, i have had more than my fair share of new years, and i tend to fall asleep before it's actually new years. or you could go to movie theatre and see a late showing of movie that will take up a little of the night, than watch the rest on t.v. or come here. personally i would rather do something the day after, cause crazy people are out tonite and i get stressed and anxiety with all that comotion, i can't deal with all those people i get panic attacks.....
just a thought i will probably be here or playin my V OR PC GAME

[Sannah]

[MASIMO]

I made it through New years, but find myself in the same lonely dark room tonight,
a night later. I'm afraid I did not win the battle tonight. What can I say, its too
late to turn back now.

[Sannah]

What are some things that you can do so that you aren't alone in that room?